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What is your heart telling you during that passionate kiss?
Scripture points out to us that even when we look at another person with lust
(desire) we have committed adultery in our heart. If I think about being
thirsty, I will want to drink some water. And the more I dwell on how thirsty I
am, the thirstier I will become. In the same way, if I think about being
lonely and unhappy in my marriage, I may want to go outside the bounds of my
marriage for attention and happiness.
"You have heard that it was
said, 'Do not commit adultery,' but I tell you anyone who looks at another
woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
(Matthew 5:27-28 NIV)
When a married man or woman even
looks at another person with thoughts of sex or with thoughts of desiring him
or her, it is adultery of the mind. The more we think about desiring
another person and the more we look with thoughts of longing, the chances are
physical adultery will occur. What is produced in our mind eventually comes out
in our actions. So knowing this then, what do you think a passionate kiss will
produce?
What causes emotional infidelity
is when a husband or wife does not feel that their needs are getting met – something
is missing from the relationship, or they don’t feel loved. So what happens is
usually by accident, the seemingly deprived spouse finds someone online that is
apparently and genuinely interested in them. Ironically all of the missing
elements within that person have been discovered and fulfilled since meeting
this new online friend.
Sometimes these relationships are
not just online, but from someone you know and talk to every single day, such
as where you work. Pretty soon, you are feeling so euphoric with all of the new
attention this person is giving you that you end up in a passionate and
absorbing kiss. The more this other person fills you up with attention, the
more your mind will tell you to have sex with them.
What causes physical adultery is
looking and desiring and then thinking about having sex with someone in your
mind. God wants us to only desire the person we married. If you feel that
something is missing in your marriage, or you just do not feel loved by your
spouse, it means it is time to get more intimate and bring romance back into
the marriage!
When we ask God for guidance and
we stop thinking and desiring someone other than who we married, we find the
person we married pleasing to us and we realize we don’t desire strangers any
more. You see the switch in thinking? That switch of thoughts comes from the
Power of Christ within you. This happens because of prayer and the faith we
have that God WILL do what He says He will do. The more we think of doing what
is right we will desire our spouse even more! If we don’t care about what is
right or wrong, we will inevitably fall into lustful thinking and desires.
So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the
desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to
the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in
conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. (Galatians
5:16-17 NIV)
Believers are not alone in their sufferings – we have God’s words in our heart and Christ’s teachings in our
minds. We must ask God to keep us from lustful thoughts so we may not
even “think” or “desire” another person in a sexual or lustful way.
For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to
all men. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly possessions, and
to live self controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age. (Titus
2:11 –12 NIV)
Where can a passionate kiss lead? It can lead to disrespect
of oneself, spouse and to God. Adultery brings ruin to many homes – in the end
when all is said and done, was it worth losing your marriage over? In a healthy
marriage, where Christ has been given priority over everything else, married
people reserve themselves for each other.
For everything in the world – the cravings of sinful man,
the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does – comes not from
the Father but from the world. (1 John 2:16 NIV)
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Angie Lewis has written three books on how to have a happy marriage. She has just finished her fourth book THE ALCOHOLISM TRAP: Understanding Why You Drink and What You Can Do To Achieve Total Sobriety.
For more information about this book and marriage books, please visit: http://www.heavenministries.com
To see book previews, please visit: http://stores.lulu.com/angielewis
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