Weddings are that special occasion where two people come
together to celebrate their love for one another. Yet, was it always this way?
How did marriage come to be, and what is the meaning behind some of the many
strange traditions observed today?
We assume that marriage has always been a sanctimonious
tradition however marriage was not originally about “holy matrimony" or “true
love." The original intent of marriage was to insure a safe environment for the
bringing up of children, as well as the acquisition and transfer of property.
Indeed it is the rather superficial “marriage of convenience" which can be
viewed as the original meaning of marriage. Eventually marriage became more
about love, and less about property. Throughout that time, though, numerous
different traditions and superstitions have surfaced. Here are just a few of
these.
In Ghana,
Africa, location is everything. Women in Ghana
are viewed as the life force of the tribe. After all, they were where all the
great warriors and chiefs came from. Because of this, Zulu culture referred to
women as “the great homes." Because of this status, it was considered customary
for the husband to be, to move to his bride’s village.
The Mande people of Africa practice
clitoridectomies (female circumcision). During this time, the women are taught
how to be good wives. They are also taught a special “secret" language that is
only spoken by married women.
A common African tradition is “jumping over the broom." The broom has become a symbol of the sweeping
out of the old, to welcome in the new. The part about jumping over is actually
of North American origin. It was from the days of slavery, when slaves were not
allowed to marry. By jumping over the broom, the couple was solidifying the
seriousness of their marriage.
In 1076, in Europe, it was decreed
that no man should give away his daughter, or other female relative, without a
priestly blessing. Interestingly enough, it wasn’t until the 16th
century that priests were even required to perform wedding ceremonies. Another
interesting medieval tradition: women at the time would pluck their hairlines
in order to attain higher foreheads, which were considered more attractive at
the time.
Conservative/Orthodox Jews have a neat tradition where the
bride walks 3 to 7 times around her husband to be. This is done to signify that
she is a protective wall for her husband, and that by stepping inside, their
family status has changed. Ah, but what of the breaking of glass? This is done
to represent the many, many tragedies
that have befallen the Jewish people. It acts as a reminder of those bad times.
Interestingly, the Muslim faith doesn’t really celebrate
weddings. A marriage is strictly an officious occasion. The marriage occurs
inside an office, rather than a mosque. The wedding is viewed as a private
civil/religious contract. The only real tradition here is that the groom must
give his bride a dower to serve as insurance for her future.
Japanese (Shinto) weddings are also small and private
affairs, though they are far more elaborate. Both bride and groom sip three
times from three separate cups of sake. It is done to guarantee luck and
happiness in the marriage.
Chinese brides are given chestnuts and jujubes. This was
done with the wish of the bride to conceive a son as soon as possible. Brides
wear red dresses to symbolize the color of love and joy. As we shall see
further down, Europeans viewed the color red in a completely different light.
Speaking of Europeans, many Eastern orthodox ceremonies
featured the placement of wreaths on the heads of both bride and groom. It was
done to symbolize their place as king and queen of the heavenly kingdom
of Earth.
With such a wide variety of traditions out there, it is
interesting to note that two of them are almost universal among human culture:
the wedding veil and the wedding ring.
The Veil
Wedding veils saw their origin among the Romans. Ancient
Romans believed that women were particularly susceptible to possession by
demonic spirits during weddings (perhaps they had a lot of runaway brides back
then). The veil was used to “confuse" these spirits. To further help the bride
out, bridesmaids were dressed in clothing similar to the bride’s. They were to
act as decoys for these demons.
When Christianity took over, the veil was changed to
represent chastity and modesty. This really took off in Britain
during the 1800s. During some Eastern ceremonies, the groom is not allowed to
remove his wife’s veil until after
the ceremony. Jewish faith took the exact opposite approach. In some Jewish
ceremonies, the groom first validates that the bride is his intended, before
placing the veil over her face.
The Ring
Wedding rings are probably the oldest wedding traditions out
there. They can be traced back over four thousand years, to the Egyptians.
Ancient Egyptians would make rings out of twisted pieces of plants. The ring
was meant to symbolize a love with no end. Egyptians and Romans both placed the
ring on the 4th finger of the female’s left hand. This was done out
of the belief that there was a vein on the 4th finger that connected
directly to the heart. It was called the “vena amoris," or “love vein." When
Christianity became the dominant religion of Europe, the
vena amoris was replaced with a holy seal.
Priests would take the wedding ring and touch the first three fingers of
the left hand (thumb, index and middle) while reciting: “the father, the son
and the holy ghost." Upon reaching the 4th finger, the ring was
placed on it to seal the marriage.
For a long while the ring went from being a symbol of
endless love, to that of ownership. The Romans used it like a branding. It was
worn by the husband's wife, to signify his ownership over her. Two thousand
years ago, in Asia, this ownership concept was taken to
a new level with "puzzle rings." These were rings that were worn by
brides as a sign of loyalty. If a bride were to take her puzzle ring off, it
would fall to pieces. These pieces could then only be put back together by
knowing the solution to the puzzle.
So what of the history of other common wedding traditions?
One interesting tradition is the presence of a flower on the
buttonhole of the groom. The flower matches one of the flowers in the bride’s
bouquet. This was a holdover from medieval times, when a knight would wear his
lady’s colours in order to signify his love for her. I suppose that means that
in one small way, chivalry isn’t dead.
Then we have the confetti. Prior to being paper, confetti
was originally a mix of
rose petals, rice and grain. Before that, it consisted of
various sweets which were thrown over the couples as they emerged from the
church. It originated in Italy.
In fact, confetti is Italian for: candy.
Finally, what “history of weddings"
article would be complete, without a brief rundown of some popular wedding superstitions?
The day that a wedding took place, was considered to be
vitally important. As such, a little rhyme was concocted to allow future
couples to pick the appropriate days for their marriage.
Monday for wealth
Tuesday for health
Wednesday the best day
of all
Thursday for losses
Friday for crosses
Saturday for no luck
at all
Then there was the month. Depending on what month one was
married in, one’s marriage could be glorious or tragic. By far the worst month
of all, was May. This was due to the historic pagan belief that May was the
start of summer. This was celebrated by the festival of Beltane (commonly
called May Day, now). As part of the festival, couples were encouraged to have
outdoor orgies to bless the crops and the Earth. Because of this, it was
considered a bad month for a newly monogamous couple to marry. The best month
of all, for marriage, was June. This was because June was named after the Roman
goddess of love: Juno. Interestingly, June is now the second most popular month for marriages. August has recently taken
over the top spot for weddings.
Next we come to the bridal dress itself. While most brides
today marry in white (which symbolizes maidenhood), the tradition is only as
old as the 16th century. Prior to that, brides chose whatever colour
dress they would like. There was a general rule of thumb though.
Married in White, you
have chosen right,
Married in Blue, your love will always be
true,
Married in Pearl, you will live in a whirl,
Married in Brown, you will live in a town,
Married in Red, you will wish yourself
dead,
Married in Yellow, ashamed of your fellow,
Married in Green, ashamed to be seen,
Married in Pink, your spirit will sink,
Married in Grey, you will go far away,
Married in Black, you will wish yourself
back.
Green dresses were viewed as being a sign of promiscuity.
This lead to the old saying that a woman “has a green gown." This was meant to
signify that she was rolling around in grassy fields. Back then, only Irish women
were considered “okay" in a green bridal gown.
Last, but not least, we have the classic wedding rhyme: Something old, something new. It started
back in Victorian times, but what does it mean?
Something old: This represents the friends of the couple and
the hopes that they will remain friends throughout the marriage. This was
traditionally represented by an old garter which would be given to the bride to
be, by a happily married woman. It was done in the hope that the happiness
would be passed onto the new couple.
Something new: The
happy and prosperous future of the newlyweds.
Something borrowed: This
is something lent by the bride’s family. It is often an item that is highly
valued, and that the bride must return after the wedding in order to ensure
good luck.
Something blue: This
is an Israelite tradition. The bride would wear a blue ribbon in her hair to
symbolize fidelity.
There is one more part to the rhyme that is often omitted:
And a silver sixpence
in your shoe: The placement of money in the bride’s shoe was done to ensure
wealth and prosperity in the lives of the new couple. For some reason or
another, this portion of the tradition doesn’t appear as popular. Perhaps that
is why so many couples run into money problems?
So, when you are consulting Miss. Manners for wedding
etiquette, remember, it’s mostly just folk lore. Just be sure to bring the ring.
The Iconoclast is a student at the University Of New Mexico and part of
the web building team at http://www.Gifteteria.com : Gift Giving With A
Smile.
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