Don’t make light of the fact that this person is hurting to the very core of their existence, where common sense and know how don’t mean anything at the time. A usually upbeat, active person will never act like that while depressed, it just isn’t possible. The components aren’t there. The desire to be productive is a mute point, because the draining feeling of doubt and insecurity has taken over.
Don’t yell at the person for doing nothing, because they have already beat themselves up enough over their inability to act functionally.
They know they’re depressed. They know they’re trying to get out of it. They don’t need to be reminded of things they already are ashamed of, and feel guilt over. This is not laziness. That’s a whole other topic. This is the inability to synchronize your feelings to your movements.
You feel like you want to go for a walk, but you have no energy, it’s called lethargy, and it’s a symptom of depression. You feel like you want to go sit outside, but you feel you probably should just go lie down.
Depression is highly under rated. It is a real feeling, it is really damaging, and it really needs understanding on the part of those who chose to be with people who suffer from depression, as well as their families, who didn’t choose. I believe there are different degrees of depression, because I believe I’ve been to every one. None of them are fun to go through. Depression robs one of the right to live comfortably. It is not like watching a sad movie, having a good cry, and going to bed to wake up bright eyed and bushy tailed.
Depression comes in waves, and anything negative or hurtful can set it off. To tell the one who is depressed the obvious, is only making them feel worse. "Oh, you should get out more." "Oh, you should have your hair done." "Oh, you should take a hot bath." When someone is contemplating about their life, and what’s happened in it, a hot bath will be one of those last things they’ll want to hear. They know where the tub is! And then there's, "Why don’t you have some tea with lemon?"
One doesn’t care if they ever move off that chair again, and you’re offering them tea with lemon. Nice gesture, don’t get me wrong, under other circumstances, but there’s something bigger happening here. Someone is hurt beyond their potential to heal from it.
They can’t reach that part of them that makes everything all right.
They know it’s there, they’ve uncovered it before, and lived for quite a while exercising that part, but right now, it doesn’t want to function. Again, I think there’s different levels, because I’ve never wanted to take my own life, but I’ve stayed secluded in my room for months out of fear to leave. I know what it feels like to be afraid of life. Afraid for my kids’ lives.
I have gotten a lot of self help from a lot of different areas over the last thirteen years, and I now can go through depression, and pretty quickly come out the other side. I helped myself to many self help books, and learned a lot about the mind, and feelings and emotions, and how they all work. I went to twelve step meetings, and learned about human nature, and ways of avoiding alcohol in my life. I learned sayings that help me through this process of life, with all it’s twists and turns. I go to a Reflexologist once a week, and she works wonders for my moral and my body.
She has many words of wisdom, and I drink them all up. So, I’d say I’m at my best for today, and I hope to be even better tomorrow.
Sometimes, depression just can’t be helped when someone suffers from it. Now, I just let it pass. If I don’t feel like doing anything, I don’t, and I don’t feel guilty, because for the past twenty years, I’ve been doing the same thing, being a homemaker. After twenty years, the kitchen can go for a day, the vacuuming can be done tomorrow, I need to heal whatever it is that is causing me depression, and that is going to be my first priority. |
