Taking Love for Granted will Destroy your Relationship
We all need to feel valued, appreciated and loved. These feelings are necessary in any healthy relationship to keep the couple bonded together. It is the positive reinforcement that you receive from your partner that make it easy to love them back in return. It is also this positive reinforcement that promotes the essence of romance and intimacy within your relationship .
When couples do not exchange positive remarks and endearments on a regular basis, the relationship will begin a downward spiral and eventually collapse. The foundation on which the relationship is built on will no longer be rock solid and the structure of your relationship will come tumbling down around you. How does this happen?
You need to understand how our relationship got to where it is now. In the early days couples tend to spend more time on making an effort for their significant other, for example; paying more attention to fitness, health, appearance, romance and sensitivity to each others feelings. We do this to win each anothers approval and commitment. In the beginning of our relationships it is human nature for you to want to put your best foot forward to win over your mate.
Unfortunately after the "honeymoon period" is over, couples will tend to take a back seat and may take each other for granted. You may start to feel as though because you have made a lifelong commitment, what you are giving to the relationship is enough. Over a period of time, the romance and extra affection and attention start to dwindle away and this affects the quality of the relationship. The closeness, the intimacy and romantic moments that couples once shared is not a strong as before.
Many people just accept this as the norm, something that happens in every relationship or marriage. They think that its quite okay, and what is important is the fact that they are committed to their relationship or marriage and that is what will keep them together. They feel that the bond of commitment and or marriage vows will keep the relationship together. But you know better than that, there has to be more.
The commitment that you share within your relationship is not enough to hold the relationship together. You and your partner need to work on your relationships and invest time, energy, romance, affection and attention in order for your relationship to survive. A relationship needs as much care as you would give to a young child or tiny infant.
Does the following apply to your relationship? Can you relate to any of the following behaviors in the list below? Read through the five relationship myths below to see if any of them apply to your relationship:
Myth 1. Your partner is not complaining, so you think everything is ok .
This is where communication comes in, you both must take the time to talk with your partner and listen to their concerns. You need to talk in depth about feelings, concerns or worries. Dont assume that it is ok that you are not talking about things or be lulled into a false sense of security if your partner is not making any complaints. Eventually he or she will complain, possibly when it is too late to do anything about it.
Myth 2. " Its okay to let my appearance go, my partner loves me for who I am"
No, this is never okay. You have a responsibility to keep yourselves attractive for your partner. If you do not do this, your partner will feel as though making the effort to look good, smell good and stay fit and attractive for their significant other is not worthy of their time. Taking your partner for granted in this way will not keep your sex life active and the romance will fizzle out of the relationship.
Myth 3 . Youve stopped doing all the romantic things to show how much you care, its okay were committed now. When you stop showing affection and speaking terms of endearment, life: "I love you" or bringing your lover little gifts or flowers, your partner will feel taken for granted and eventually feel unloved and unappreciated.
Myth 4. " We are married. We dont have express appreciation or say thank you as often."
If you dont remember to appreciate your mate and say thank you when he or she does sometime we like, your mate can feel unappreciated and unloved. Your partner may begin to feel as though they are not valued within the relationship.
Myth 5. Youre too busy for relationship issues, work, and other commitments, but its ok they will understand You should not put your loved ones on the back burner. They deserve to come first in your life, most of the time. You cannot ignore the need to devote time to your relationship or you run the risk of your partner feeling taken for granted. The relationship is in danger of losing the intimacy and connection you once shared. When you do decide to give your relationship some effort, your partner may well not be interested. Your partner may be full of resentment and hurt, and it may well be that youve left things a little late.
The commitment you share is not enough to keep your relationship or marriage together. You must consistently nurture your relationship on a regular basis. What you put in to it, you will get back and your relationship will reap the benefits. You must be prepared to give more if you want a happy, healthy and stable life together.
Copyright 2007, Janelle Coulton
Janelle Coulton, aka Jel has writing for many years. She writes essay and articles on many topics, including Love, Romance, Relationship and Marriage problems, Human Behaviour, Social Issues and Music. Jel likes to entertain her readers with humour and wit. She aims to write in a way that will encourage her readers to think long and hard about what they have read. Jel's wriiting is though provoking, intense and sometimes cheeky. To read more of her work visit the following link to her websites and from there you can link to her blogs.
http://www.freewebs.com/jelbaby/ or
http://www.freewebs.com/jel1/index.htm
