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Definitions:
Backyard Mechanic: A person with mechanical ability who does all their own vehicle repairs due to mistrust of certified mechanics.
Backyard Mechanic Sidekick: A person with little or no mechanical ability who gets the Backyard Mechanic to come to his house and fix his broken vehicle while, out of guilt, he stands around and tries to help where possible.
I am not a mechanic. I don’t like working on vehicles. Tools in my hand feel clumsy and awkward. To be a mechanic, in my opinion, you have to have an analytical mind. I have more of an artistic mind. To be a mechanic, you have to have an interest in engines, how they work, what this part does in conjunction with that part, etc. I have no interest in how it works, just that it works! To be fair, I can do a little bit of auto work. I can change the oil in my truck. I once replaced the serpentine belt, threw an air filter in. I can do the basic, simplest things. But for the most part, I’m clueless!
My brother, Tom, is a backyard mechanic. I suppose my other brother, Bob, is as well. But recently, Tom came to my house and replaced the starter on my truck and the plugs and air filter on my mother-in-law’s SUV. He did a fine job. My mother-in-law thinks he’s great. But what about me? I, as backyard mechanic sidekick, provide an invaluable service to the backyard mechanic. However, as usual, the sidekick gets no credit, no glory. Just like offensive linemen in football.
I have listed below some of the services a backyard mechanic sidekick provides.
1. Witty Conversation
I give the backyard mechanic someone to talk to. In the time spent at the vehicle, we can cover a myriad of topics and maybe, just maybe learn something about one another. Example:
TOM: “I balance my checkbook once a week.”
ME: “I balance mine everyday.”
TOM: “Why?”
ME: “Because! Why wouldn’t you?”
TOM: “It’s a waste of time.”
ME: “No, it isn’t.”
TOM: “Whatever!”
You just can’t get that kind of deep conversation by yourself.
2. Extra Hands
I can hold a flashlight so the mechanic has both hands free. In the case of the starter on my truck, I was able to hold the starter, which was disconnected from its mounted position, (mechanic lingo) while Tom tried to get the wires that connects it to the battery free as they were rusted on. We worked as a team and I didn’t spray WD-40 in his eyes. Without me, he may have had a tougher time.
3. Offer Words Of Comfort In Times Of Pain.
Every mechanic has faced a stubborn nut, a rusty bolt, a cranky spark plug which leads to something called a “knuckle-buster!” That’s when, in the act of trying to bust something free so it turns, the mechanic bangs his knuckles on another part of the vehicle. That is where his sidekick can offer words of empathy, compassion, and understanding. Example:
TOM: (Banging his knuckles) “SON-OF-A-#%*^&, that *!&*!#%@ hurt!”
ME: “Ouch!” I say while rubbing my clean, scar free hands in sympathy pain.
TOM: “I hate when that *#%&!+ happens.”
ME: “I hear you, Man. Ooohh, I’ll bet that smarts. By the way, you’re bleeding.”
TOM: “Thanks for #*&!*^&# pointing that out!”
ME: “I’m here for you, Brother. I’m here for you.”
Now where else could you get love and support like that?
4. Fetching and Handing of Tools.
The sidekick is instrumental in fetching tools for the mechanic or handing tools to him. Like a surgeon and his OR nurse, the mechanic and the sidekick work together. Example:
TOM: “Hand me the ratchet, the half inch drive.”
ME: “The what?”
TOM: “Half inch drive. Ratchet!”
ME: “Is that the little one?”
TOM: “Yea!”
ME: “The wee little one, or the bigger one.”
TOM: “Yes, yes, the bigger one!!”
ME: “This one?”
TOM: “Yes! For the love of God, just give it to me!”
ME: “There you go.” Service with a smile.
Like a finely tuned machine, the mechanic and the sidekick are on a level that boggles the mind.
5. Bonding
It’s the mechanic and sidekick against the common enemy…a broken down vehicle. Together they tackle the problem as the vehicle does its best to stop them with hard to reach places, rusty bolts, hoses and pipes and thingy McJiggers in the way. Would the mechanic be able to do it alone? Well….yes! But with the sidekick things are a little easier, a little more fun and darn it, not so lonely.
TOM: “Well, now I have to go home and work on my vehicle.”
ME: “You need my help?”
TOM: “No!”
Kind of brings a tear to your eye, doesn’t it?
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