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Looking back, he was the best thing you ever had. He was smart, funny, and treated you so well. Maybe he was even your best friend. Now, you find yourself thinking about your ex-boyfriend every day. If you have been apart for 3 or more months and are still pining for him, you may still be in love.
In many cases, it can be best to just keep moving forward and not look back at what could have been. But, in other situations, it may be that you could make it work again and he may feel the same way. If this describes you, read below for 5 steps toward finding him and getting him to adore you again.
Step #1: Confirm that approaching him is the right move: Before you try to find him and reconnect, you need to be brutally honest with yourself. Are there any reasons that you should not contact him, legal or otherwise? If so, best heed those and back off. Or, barring those types of barriers, you still need to be sure that you are being honest with yourself. Is this really what you want? Could getting back together really be the best thing for both of you?
Step #2: Find out where he is now: Locating his contact information is easier than ever in the age of the Internet. There are a number of great free online services that can point you in the right direction, such as ZabaSearch and Yahoo! PeopleSearch. Or, you can try a potentially more comprehensive for-pay option like PeopleFinders and Net Detective. Tip: gather as much information you can in advance about your ex-boyfriend in terms of past addresses, phone numbers, etc., as well as his probable current whereabouts.
Step #3: Contact him: Once you have his contact information, go ahead and give him a call or e-mail him. Just keep in mind that he will likely be taken off guard by your contact, so be ready for any reaction. And, be sure to be straight with him by letting him know why you are calling right up front. At this point, you want to re-gain his trust, so sincerity will work in your favor. Important: if he says that he prefers you no longer speak, you must respect his wishes and back off for good (at least now you know, right)? But, if he wants to continue the conversation, ask if you can set up a separate time to talk.
Step #4: Share your feelings with him: When your appointed time to talk comes, the most important thing is to be honest about your feelings. Avoid playing the blame game and bringing up who did what to whom, unless of course you are admitting your own past mistakes. Caution: avoid getting emotional or bringing up unresolved issues. Keep the conversation light and positive.
Step #5: Now, give him some space: During your meeting, subtly make references to some of the romantic, humorous, or exciting times you had (but be careful here if he is currently in a new relationship). Let him know how you feel. Then - cut your meeting short and give him some space, since pressuring him at this point could cut you off from any chances of getting back together. Give him your contact information and let him know that you are there if he ever needs to talk.
Both of you should then take the time to decide if it is right for the relationship to move forward again. Good luck and stay positive. If it is meant to be, you could be back together before you know it!
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Article added to SearchWarp.com on Monday, October 01, 2007 View other articles written by Susan Willis(3,472)
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