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Maybe she understood you better than anyone else does. Perhaps she was smart, attractive, and everything you ever wanted in a woman and more. Or, maybe she was your best friend in the world. In any case, if you find yourself thinking about your ex-girlfriend every day and you have been apart for 3 or more months, you may still be in love with her.
In many cases, it can be best to just leave it alone and move on. After all, there was a reason you broke up, right? But, there may also be situations whereby you think it could work again and you have reason to believe she may feel the same way. If that describes you, read on for 5 tips for finding her and rekindling your relationship with your ex-girlfriend.
Tip #1: Get your head straight: Before you try to find her, you need to be brutally honest with yourself. Are there any reasons that you should not contact her, legal or otherwise? If so, best heed those and back off. Or, if the coast seems clear in that department, you still need to be sure that you are being honest with yourself. Is this really what you want? Could getting back together really be the best thing for both of you?
Tip #2: Find out where she is now: Locating her contact information is easier than ever in the age of the Internet. There are a number of great free online services that can point you in the right direction, such as Yahoo! People Search and ZabaSearch. Or, try a potentially more comprehensive for-pay option like Net Detective and PeopleFinders. Tip: gather as much information you can in advance about your ex-girlfriend in terms of her past addresses, phone numbers, etc., as well as her probable current whereabouts.
Tip #3: E-mail or call her: Once you have her contact information, go ahead and give her a call or send her an e-mail. Just keep in mind that she will not be expecting you to contact her, so be ready for any reaction. And, be sure to be straight with her: let her know why you are calling and do not play games. At this point, you want to re-gain her trust, so sincerity will work in your favor. Important: if at this point she states that she prefers you no longer speak, you must respect her wishes and back off for good (at least now you know, right)? But, if she is receptive, ask her if you can set up a separate time to talk.
Tip #4: Tell her how you feel: When your appointed time to talk comes, the most important thing is to be honest about your feelings. Avoid any recriminations about who did what, unless of course you are admitting your own past mistakes. Caution: at this point, if you play the blame game, get emotional, or bring up unresolved issues, you will only be hurting any chance you might have of rekindling your relationship with her. Keep it light and keep it positive.
Tip #5: Remind her of how things used to be, and then give her some space: During your meeting, subtly make references to some of the romantic, humorous, or exciting times you had (but be careful here if she is currently in a new relationship). Let her know how you feel. Then - cut your meeting short and give her some space, as pressuring her at this point could cut you off from any chances at reconciliation. Give her your contact information and let her know that you are there if she ever needs to talk.
Now, give yourselves some time to decide if it is right for the relationship to move forward again. Good luck and stay positive, no matter what the outcome!
Disclaimer: All information on this site is provided for informational purposes only! By no means is any
information presented herein intended to substitute for the advice provided to you by any health care or other professional
or organization.
