Submitted by: Jamie Baber(4) Log in to become a member of Jamie Baber's Fan Club!
Every marriage goes through it's own set of ups and downs. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship, so the rough patches and bumpy rides are inevitable. Yet in this day and age, we seem to throw in the towel with such ease. "Nearly half of all marriages end in divorce" is almost the new motto for couples in America. As soon as things get rocky, we find ourselves looking for a way out. Have we lost our sense of commitment when it comes to the bonds of marriage? Have we turned a deaf ear to the promises we make on that special day or do we utter them simply as a meaningless ritual?
The vows you take when you are wed are very important, yet tend to be overlooked or mumbled without much thought. The words spoken have lost their weight with couples. Why else would it be so easy to break them? I want to delve into the traditional marriage vows, piece by piece. I want to renew their meaning in hopes of restoring their importance. Actions may speak louder than words, but it helps when you at least understand the words.
"Will you have this woman/man as your lawful wedded partner to live together in the estate of matrimony?"
First off, this is a question and questions provoke thought. Your mind needs to process this information before it can give a clear answer, otherwise it is a meaningless " I do." In other words, ask yourself if you will accept this person as your one and only, your partner by law, the one you will be bound to? Allow the information to sink in and be honest with yourself when answering.
"Will you love, honor, comfort, and keep him or her in sickness and in health; forsaking all others, and be true to him/her as long as you both shall live?"
This is where it gets sticky. Notice that it does not state " as this person is now." If your loved one suddenly develops an addiction, mental health issue, or anything at all, you took the vows for "as long as you both shall live." There is no loop hole when you state these words. They are plain and simple. You are to love him or her through the good times and the bad. You are not to go running when things get rocky. You need to stand firm and work through your issues.
We are so quick to dismiss these statements when the marriage is no longer benefiting us, yet these were promises that we made. They say you are as good as your word and if you are quick to break them, what does that say about you? There are certain situations such as abuse that may seem to warrant divorce, yet the reality is simple -- you took vows and are going to break those vows if you are the one deciding to split. There is no way to sugarcoat it. Blame it on what you wish, but if you divorce, you have ultimately lied. Not only to yourself, but the one you exchanged those vows with.
Before anyone decides to wed, they should read the words they will speak on their beautiful day. They should sit down and mull them over, looking at every possible aspect. If there is one inclination that they may not be able to uphold their end of the bargain, the wedding should not go forward.
» left by April Lorier(3,618) April Lorier (215 days 20 hours ago.)
Jamie, I agree with your sentiments. In Christian marriage, it is made clear that this is NOT a contract (that can be canceled). It is a covenant -- everlasting. But the sad reality is that BOTH people have to be of the same mind or it won't work. I am a Christian who is also divorced. It is very hard to reconcile the two. But God hasn't left, and that's more important to me. Good article and well written and thought out. Thanks! Respond to this comment
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Article added to SearchWarp.com on Tuesday, October 02, 2007 View other articles written by Jamie Baber(4)
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