"As a step parent, it is natural to feel some resentment towards your step kids. After all, if it weren't for them, you'd have the perfect relationship, right? Doubtful, but it often makes us feel at least a little better."
I'm not giving the link to it, it wasn't all that good.
But what did catch my eye was the " Natural to feel some resentment towards your step kids."
My Reply.
HELL no! It is not natural. And that FIRES ME UP. Will you have bad days? Yep.
And you will have great days and when all is said and done, you will have had the opportunity to make an IMPACT! on a child's life.
Resentment? NO!
IMPACT! Yes!
My son came to me this morning. He took some index cards and folded them in half and stapled them at the seam. He drew pictures and scribbled some words and told me he made a book.
The title, he said, was " Mystery History." He told me the whole story. He read it to me, showed me the pictures.
Now, the words were scribbles and the pictures were I don't know, they just were. Yet he knew the whole story. And the story was very, very cool.
Hey, it was a first edition, one of a kind story. And I loved it.
It was in HIS own language, in his code. And it was Great. When your step kids act, and you don't know what is going on, its their story! Its their masterpiece. You can contribute or you can force it to stop.
Be AMAZED and notice. The first step, if you want to take action today, your first step should be to notice.
The secret: notice without lableing it. Don't fall into the trap of a "seen that, done that" person. When that type of person goes into the woods and walks on the man made trails, they see a chip monk. And they think, "Chip Monk, check, done." And they think they know what a Chip Monk really is. They continue to walk.
They come upon a Wood pecker, and they think, "Wood Pecker, check, done." And they walk further on the man made trail.
They come upon a chip monk again, and they think, "Oh, thats just a chip monk. Done." And they miss out on something wonderful. They labeled it and its done. The experience as far as they see is over and there is nothing else to pay attention too. And they miss out on a whole world.
They missed out on the experience of the actions, the eyes, the shadow from its fur, the little steps that they jump with, the energy, the curiosity.
And this carries over to home.
Be Amazed. This is your first step, just notice.
Don't let your "Seen it, done it" attitude hold you back from connecting with your step kids. Even if your step kiddo walks into the room and you feel like you have to leave the room to get away so that you wont have to talk to them..
NOTICE.
Notice the feeling. Notice it. And I challenge you to sit in that room and notice it. Don't get up and walk away, stay in the same room and notice it.
Be AMAZED.
Thats your first step. When you want more, that is when you'll be ready. Stay tuned for my next article where you'll get tons more.
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