All Sides of Abortion. Should The Father Have A Say?

I am going to touch on a subject that is by far one of the touchiest, besides race. Abortion. There has been a new flurry of commotion around it lately as Judge Samuel Alito is being groomed for the Supreme Court. Something from his past was dug up in which he once said or voted that women should be able to have abortions but they should be required to tell their husbands. Now many have commented about this and I'm not sure where I stand on it. I have this weird ability to truly look at all sides of an argument, so I haven't jumped into any conclusions on this.

Bill O'reilly and many other men have said that yes they should get a say because if they don't get a say then they shouldn't have to pay child support. Well I notice that most times people don't think before they speak because if the woman gets an abortion then there is no child support necessary. I do feel that the guy should have some part in the decision. However I also have to remember that there are women out there who are being abused and stuck in relationships in which the man is controlling them. How do they tell there significant other that they want an abortion? They can't. Then there is the fact that a teenager has to tell her parents. Once again, there are the good parents and then there's the bad. Who will think only about what they want and not what's best for there child and perhaps grandchild. By this I mean they either force her to get an abortion if she doesn't want one, or force her to have the child if she wants one.

Ultimately I think people just don't think about the fact that the baby is in her, she has to carry it nine months and go through labor. The father can walk away, and in many cases she can too if she chooses, but mostly the decision rests on her shoulders and whether it's easy or hard, it's all on her. Like I said, I can see both sides of the argument. I myself don't want to have any abortions, I love children and even at it's hardest I want to have a child no matter what. If I can't, then I will happily adopt which is something I do plan on doing in a few years. That being said, no the father doesn't carry that child 9 months or deliver it, but that is his child. He can never know the bond between a mother and her child, but if he's a good man, he can feel the joy of holding that child in his arms. Feel his heart swell with pride and awe that this little person is here because of both of them.

And if that man wants to have that child be born, is it right that he have no say in it? Is it right for him to be able to do nothing except go home and cry tears of pain because he will never hold his child? A woman can go to a sperm bank and pick out a father. Men can't exactly walk into a uterus bank and pick out a mother.
I don't know what the solution is, but this topic isn't easy for most people. I do believe that abortions should be legal and should stay that way. But I also believe that the father should be able to play a role, but how?

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Comments on this article:

» left by treborc from uk (2 years 212 days ago.)
Well the women is to have the child it is her body which will have all the birth problems, I am afraid to say it has to be the ladies right to give birth or not.
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» left by Anonymous (2 years 92 days ago.)

either way the father of the child willl get hurt oif she decides to have that abortion, so I feel lyk he should have a say in the fact.
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» left by Anonymous (1 year 259 days ago.)

I think that the fathers should have just as much say because tht baby may not be inside of him but it is just as much a part of him as it is the mother.And just because the baby is in the mother doesn't give her the right to go kill it.ANd everyone says stuff like that what if she has been raped or teh child has deformities..I was looking on the computer for a project and this is what I found..1% of all abortions occur because of rape or incest; 6% of abortions occur because of potential health problems regarding either the mother or child, and 93% of all abortions occur for social reasons (i.e. the child is unwanted or inconvenient).So in reading that I personally think that if you aren't mature enough to raise a baby you aren't mature enough to have sex.
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» left by Almost a Father from Ireland (1 year 199 days ago.)

Thank you for bringing this to public attention. There seems to be very little consideration for the father generally in this matter (and most of what there is seems to have a religious agenda, which makes me see red).

Recently, I got my girlfriend pregnant. When we found out, my gut reaction was that I really wanted to have the child (but that whatever she decided I would support her as well as I could), but she insisted on aborting it for career reasons. I went with her on the trip to support her (if I hadn't gone with her, her mother would have), and it was one of the hardest things I have ever done; I regret going in to the ultrasound with her now, though I thought I was okay at the time. I can't help thinking "that blob on the ultrasound was my child". I'll never know now whether it was a boy or a girl, what name we would have given it, how it would have turned out, ... weeks later, I'm still here grieving on my own, and she's away on holiday.

When we went to the clinic, they counselled her repeatedly, and excluded me from taking part; their most meaningful interaction with me was "so how will you be paying today?" - in person, they seemed far more mercenary, and far less caring, than their more public face would suggest.

I was asked to leave the clinic while the procedure was being performed, and come back to collect her in a couple of hours; I got the impression they just didn't want fathers and other companions cluttering up the waiting room, if they weren't making money out of them.

There is so much more to this discussion than "the father should have a say because it affects whether he'll have to pay child support". I would have been delighted to bring this child up, together with its mother, but this will never happen now.
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» left by Tory from Riverview,Fl (1 year 49 days ago.)

It takes two to create a child, therefore if a decision should be made about the life of that child it should be discussed between the parents of that child. I tried to view it from various perspectives of if a women was being abused; however, I still feel that the father is apart of that child and rather the women is being abused or not the father should have a say in his child’s life, because not only is it her child, but it is his as well. On the other hand, if she was molested or raped, I feel that would be a different case where the mother, by her self, could do as she pleases. In addition to these cases, the case of a teenager getting pregnant and having to tell her parents, although she is young she still should have a say in whether or not she wants the kid. Her parents will help her, but if she does something that she does not want to do with the child she will be the one to suffer in the long run for what she have done. Personally, I do not agree with abortions; however, I feel the parents, as a whole should decide on the child’s life, not just the mother or the parents of the teenager.


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» left by Caitlin from Palm Springs (1 year 35 days ago.)
My decision is based on a married couple.
I beleave that it does take two people a husband and a wife to create a child and there for it takes both of them to decide whether or not they want to keep the baby. The mother should not have any advantage over the father in this matter just because she is the carrier of the baby for 9 months. If the father wants to keep it that is a decision that will live on with him and he will have to provide for that child for 18 years and then choose from there whether to continue to support the child . Plus most women who get an abortion will have phsycological problems in their future. I am pro fathers envolvment and say in abortion regarding marriage.
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» left by Mia from Middleburg, PA (351 days 16 hours ago.)

i think the fater had just as much right as the mother...yes we woman go through the birth complications and everything else but that baby is just as much his as it is hers...im pregnant now and i asked if he wanted to get abortion we agreed NO...
MiA
Middleburg, PA
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» left by m from colorado (211 days 22 hours ago.)
physiologically speaking its technically half the mans baby. and while yes its the womans body and what not, the man has to deal with the child after its born or at least support it financially. i say that the man should maybe or maybe not have a say in abortion but should definatly have a say in wherther they put it up for adoptions and should have the right to cut all ties finacially speaking.
hey, if its YOUR baby YOUR body and YOUR choice YOU figure out how to raise it and pay for it on your own.
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» left by Anonymous (183 days 23 hours ago.)
I think the father should have say about abortion. UNLESS it was a product of rape, incest, or child malistation (sorry spelling bad :( ) also i think that if it puts the mother's life in danger to continue the pregnancy then i think that the father should have no say because at that point it becomes a life and death situation

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» left by Anonymous (174 days 7 hours ago.)

Hey, here's a thought. The person who deals with the daily infringement of pregnancy on their body and daily life should be the one to make the decision regarding abortion. In an ideal world, the pregnant person would be in a stable relationship and would talk to the potential father and have an in-depth conversation about the issue before making any decisions regarding aborting or not. But there are plenty of simply terrible relationships out there, as well as the unfortunate "Maury trend" of some people simply not knowing who the father may be (again, this is not an ideal world). In any case, the pregnant person's decision should be theirs alone, regardless of any interferement from anyone else. They have the right, maybe even the obligation, to talk with the potential father, but they shouldn't need his permission. Adult pregnant persons are, well, adults capable of making decisions. I sympathize with those men whose partners aborted without taking them into account, but until we can find a way of moving a foetus from a woman's body into a man's for gestation, the final decision should rest with the person who is actually physically pregnant. Another thought: If the person you're with is pro-choice and you're not, then why are you together? There are plenty of "pro-life" women out there. Pick your sexual partner(s) VERY carefully next time.

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» left by Anonymous (106 days 6 hours ago.)

I think it'd be ideal if men would simply be supportive of the women they inpregnate.

 

For men that want to give the fetus rights, at the expense to the rights of women...Ok, fair enough. If you give your rights up the women you inpregnante for the duration of their pregnancy then perhaps we can strike a compromise. You get to be the womans slave and if she has you walk around with a watermelon up your butt for 9 months perhaps you'll see why it'd have been better for men to butt out. Deal?

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» left by Anonymous (92 days 6 hours ago.)

I think fathers should have a say, it would be just as much the mans baby as the womans.Men can offer love and support to a child. I completely understand if a woman gets raped if she wants to abort the baby, however the father should have no say at all whether or not she aborts it, and I hate saying it, but to make it fair toall of the other fathers out there who had concentual sex with a woman and she ended up pregnant, if a woman wants to abort the baby and it is not agreed by both parties involved she should have to go to court and get sole custody of the baby. And if the woman doesnt want the baby and the father does, the father should have the right to take her to court , get custody, and attempt to place the baby in another womb of some sort

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» left by james from cheltenham (60 days ago.)

my girlfriend is getting rid ov my child after 7 weeks her family turned them back on her wen she said she was pregnent now they are all sucking up to her just because she desided to have 1 i really dont no what to do ;(

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» left by Mike from Mich (56 days 11 hours ago.)

If the mom is unmarried, then no, the father should have no say in the matter, it's not his life or his body, if he wants the baby, he'll stand up and marry the woman, they aren't tanks for carrying our young.
 In a marriage though, the decision whether or not to abort MUST be made together, if an abortion is decided then the consent form should have to be signed by both parties. In a marriage, your bodies belong to each other, the father feels the same pain as his wife after an abortion. I speak from experience, not out of hand. My wife and I made the decision to keep every one of our children together, it was NEVER HER choice, it was OUR choice because we do firmly believe that our bodies are as much each others as they are our own. When our fourth came along recently, we decided not to have it, together. At the doctors they didn't give me a second look, didn't raise a brow whether or not I consented to this, and all in all they just pretended I wasn't there. The saddest part, and what I feel is the greatest violation of my rights as a person is when I went in to have the old boys snipped, my Dr. asked if I had my wife's permission to do it. I laughed in his face and stormed out. Eventually I found a Doctor that didn't ask, (I did have permission, but the principle of the matter) but I was still outraged that she was able to terminate our baby without a glance at me an irreversible thing, but I needed her permission for a little reversible snip to prevent future babies. Another comment on the feminazis in the world that march around with their hairy legs, armpits and vaginas and insist it's their bodies and their lives and pretend men don't exist. Guess what, when your wife has an abortion, you as a man share her pain and feel your own. Grief, guilt and relief all shared, I cried with my wife afterwards, even though we both knew we'd done the right thing.

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