We aren't running out of fuel any time
soon. Nor has the price of gas really gone up by any appreciable
amount. Compare the the rise in the price of gas with the rise in the
cost of an adequate home and you'll see what I mean.
What we are experiencing is
the value of the dollar going DOWN.
Back when the common back earned $1.00
per hour by the sweat of its brow our gas was selling for fifty cents
a gallon. Now that American backs are earning between $6.00 and
$75.86 per hour it is only natural that the price of gas should rise
to $3.00 per gallon. Considering the quality of our fuel, the price
has actually gone down quite a bit.
While none of us likes the newest price
of fuel, let's remember that we were even unhappier when fifty cents
a gallon first came upon us.
The pickle suckers of our society have
been squealing with great regularity on the gas supply sensationalist
plug for the past ninety years. Keep it in mind that the only way
for pickle suckers have to make a living is by predicting one crisis
after another, pointing their shaky fingers at one issue after
another until the whole world is grimacing in actual pain and
pessimism.
What we are experiencing is not an
energy crisis but purely a social dilemma, much like the Mexican
Caballeros once faced when they HAD to use a horse to cross the
street – not because they couldn't walk – but just because if
they didn't use a horse their peers would believe they had lost
social prestige.
While we may have an identity crisis
going on we certainly don't have an energy crisis lurking anywhere
close. At this point we simply need drivers to be more responsible.
Everywhere you look today there are fuel-guzzling monsters hunting
out distant mud holes to wallow in, purely in the name of fun. Every
weekend millions of boaters head for the lakes and streams for hours
of chugging around just like there was an inexhaustible supply of
energy. There are people who drive to the store three times a day.
There are people who drive thirty miles, past nineteen supermarkets,
to save fifty cents at their favorite store.
If there really was an energy crisis
sneaking up on us a simple solution would fix the problem almost
overnight: Just double the taxes at the pump on fuel and let people
readjust their lives around luxury costing more. Before you know it,
we'd be inventing excuses to only go to the store once a day instead
of three, walk instead of ride, acquiring bicycles to go short
distances on, and scooters to jet around town on. Fuel would only be
used for long trips and we would definitely cut down on the number of
long trips. Fuel consumption would be cut in half and station owners
would be moaning to Congress for subsidization laws to protect them
just like they were farmers or something important.
That brings up the point of Congress
and the media blaming farmers for higher prices on our grocery
shelves. Poor farmers must be burping bitterly in their cups of
cappuccino over that one. Farmers are the one segment of society
totally at the mercy of someone else for the prices of their product.
Clothing manufacturers? They can raise their prices. Candlemakers?
They can raise their prices. Bakers? They can raise their prices.
Carmakers? They can raise their prices with impunity. Cereal
makers? They can all raise their prices.
But farmers? These poor guys are TOLD
what their products are worth. "Your cows are worth .."
"Your corn is worth .." Even worse, the farmer is only
told the value of his product AFTER he has gone to all the expense
and effort of planting it, protecting it, plowing it, harvesting it
and presenting it for market. "Gee, I should have raised corn
this year. You can get better odds at the casino."
Now, let's go to the supermarket for a
sack of potato chips. That big, family-sized bag? The farmer only
gets eight cents for the potatoes that went into the package, but who
gets the blame for you having to pay the cashier three dollars? The
farmer. Rodney Dangerfield never had it so bad.
If there ever is a real fuel crunch a
few simple changes in our lifestyles will put matters aright in a
hurry. For example, if you look at all the city buses running to and
fro you will notice they are usually almost empty. If citizens
realize how much they can save by taking buses those numbers can
double. When buses begin to get crowded more busses can be bought
and even more savings realized. When I was a child we bought
groceries once a month. By the time I was grown we were buying
groceries once a week. These days it is hard to remember a day we
didn't buy groceries of some kind. No wonder there are endless
streams of cars hurtling down the highways, usually almost empty.
Just checking regularly with our friends to see if anyone can benefit
by going the same direction we are can save fuel consumption by one
third.
In the same way, once we change social
perceptions from “only poor people ride the bus” to “only dumb
people don't ride the bus” this “energy crisis will be on its way
to being solved. All we really need to do is curb our spending
habits and begin to brag on our neighbors and other people that walk
farther than they drive.
If the energy crisis gets downright
pickle-sucking bad we could shift our social identity from car
ownership to car rentalship. This step alone would eliminate the
junkers and clunkers overnight and slash the energy drain by half.
People could be encouraged to work closer to home, or even at home.
The next step towards a solution would be to off-stagger working
hours to alleviate rush hours and relieve jammed traffic street
strain. Bicycle routes could be established for the general populace
to popular city destinations. Wider walkways would encourage people
that had to drive to get out and walk for their health.
If the energy crisis ever does threaten
to turn into a real crunch it could be avoided by a shift in sources.
Right now the turmoil is in raising prices for corn in an effort to
produce enough ethanol so we can continue our irresponsible driving
habits. “We can't produce enough corn to feed us and fuel our
vehicles too.”
First off, it isn't a case of either
or. There are millions more acres suitable for raising corn IF prices
go up in an effort to invite farmers to accommodate. If we run out
of land, Mexican farmers would LOVE to sell their corn to us. Second,
other grains are raised much easier than corn and harvested more
efficiently.
Third, instead of using only the one
small portion of the crop to produce ethanol we can use the total
plant to produce heat either by burning, or by compression and make
electricity for smaller vehicles used for inter-neighborhood jaunts.
Fourth, we can use things that aren't
even crops yet to produce heat either by compression or by burning.
For example, we have kudzu growing in rampant rages in the South and
we have red cedar trees threatening to take over the entire plains
country of Oklahoma if we don't do something about it. In New York
there is garbage by the metro-gallon.
In each region of the country there are
other “commodities” that are at present causing a problem because
they multiply faster than rabbits on welfare. Every day of the year
in every state in the union there are trees and other vegetation
being shoveled aside in the name of progress then burned to get it
out of the way. Take this scientific fact to heart: Anything that
will burn, be it grass, garbage or trees can produce no small measure
of heat. Heat can produce electricity when properly harnessed, and
never forget that heat itself is often a very desirable product.
There is no energy crisis. We have heat
to produce electricity. We have wind to produce electricity. We have
ice for electricity.
Ice? For electricity? Oh yes. Ben
Franklin taught us that a penny saved is a penny earned. If we reduce
the need for electricity by one kilowatt then we have effectively
produced one kilowatt of electricity. In our country there are
certain hot spots where the biggest expenditures of energy are in
keeping things, people and places cool. Ice does that admirably well.
It would be much cheaper to haul ice
floes to any of our hot regions where it can be used to cool down
large buildings. Even before modern miracles of insulation came into
being huge slabs of ice could be kept all year long. Today there is
scarcely any loss at all in hauling ice all the way across the
country. Since ice floats, huge slabs of ice can be carved out of the
Great Lakes and shipped down the Missasip like so many logs to be
used downstream when Mint Juleps are in season. Ice bergs can be
carved out of the Arctic, harnessed and tugged to some of our
northern seaports. There we could put it on trains that are already
empty most of the time anyway, and shipped in insulated cars to the
great hot west.
One thing about ice, even if it comes
from the ocean, when it melts (producing cooler temperatures in the
air around it) ice turns into good water. In our desert hot spots
water is being pumped from ever dwindling pools of water far, far
beneath the surface. The deeper the well from which that water is
drawn the deeper is the drain on the poor farmer's purse. By bringing
ice down to cool off our important buildings we would also produce
water that did not have to be pumped up from beneath the ground. In
areas like Nevada and Saudi Arabia water is almost more valuable than
the cooler temperatures ice could produce. An ice berg or two would
be very much appreciated.
Water is the most abundant resource on
the face of the earth. One thing about water, it moves. It moves
rapidly and it changes its molecular composition quickly. Anywhere we
notice a change or even a desire to change we find an opportunity to
harvest another energy crop. Streams of water can run mills and
rivers can send turbines screaming. We haven't even begun to tap the
full potential for producing power from the streams and rivers we
have with the technology available to us today.
Ocean tides would be simple enough to
harness. If we think in terms of multiple units instead of trying to
build one huge generator we'll go a lot farther in less time. When
the tide comes in it brings in millions of tons of weight. That
weight can be used to send hydraulic oil surging uphill through
turbines that produces energy. When the ocean's weight goes out the
hydraulic oil will pour back down into the pouches, ready to be
squeezed upwards yet again.
Pickle Sucker Sensationalism sells more
newspapers than good sense does and it helps scientists get bigger
grants for useless studies. That doesn't mean we should leave our
good sense behind when we pick up the newspaper or turn on the
television. Beware the spit and snap of the Pickle Sucker's trap
lest your mouth and mind pucker sour and more unkind. This “energy
crisis” is so insignificant and small compared to the brightness of
our future that only true pickle suckers can see it at all.
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