1 st Minute: Define exactly what it is that is worrying you. Write it down.
Worry is simmering fear. In the old days, we would just run like hell when we were scared, but nowadays, we bubble away in our little pots of worry. So, the first thing to do is face what it is that worries us, and then define it by writing it down. Set a kitchen timer to make certain that you spend at least one minute on each of these steps. Concentrate intently on each minute and do it as completely and sincerely as you can.
2 nd Minute: How can you realistically wriggle out of the problem? Write it down.
For example, if you are worried about having enough money for retirement, then a solution such as working forever would be a way to wriggle out, but this is not practical unless you are a robot! And saving and investing for retirement is not wriggling out; that is taking steps to solve the worrisome problem.
So, is there any clever way that you can wriggle out; maybe moving to Uzbekistan where the cost of living is less, moving in with the kids, etc.? Write it down.
3 rd Minute: If you cannot avoid the problem, what can you do about it?
Now write down reasonable solutions that will more than likely solve your problem. Of course, if you worry about things like death and taxes, there are no reasonable solutions, so go directly to Minute 5!
4 th Minute: Write down the date when you plan to start your solutions.
Really promise yourself to take action on this problem regardless of how serious or scary it may be. The unknown is always more intimidating than any disclosure can be, and the truth is the beginning of love, and when there is love, fear is not.
5 th Minute: What is the worst thing that could happen? Write it down.
If your worries come true, how bad could it get? Face this down. If you are worried, for example, that you might have the Ebola Virus, picture all that will happen to you and write it down!
6 th Minute: Just in case the worst does happen, what is left?
If you lose your wealth, will you have your health? If you lose your wealth and your health, will you still have your friends? If you lose your health and your wealth and your friends, will you have your faith? And if you lose your faith, what new frontiers will you be forced to discover, as you enter through that immense door of emptiness? Only our ignorance of this universe, its vastness and its mysteries, leads us to despair. It is impossible to lose it all. That cannot happen ever. Write down what it is you will be left with.
7 th Minute: Concentrate on your breathing.
All that can be done has been done, so now put it all out of your head and just watch your body breathe. The body does this naturally without your help at all; you dont even have to worry about it! If thoughts interfere as you watch your body breathe, notice the thoughts as soon as possible and then dismiss them, returning your attention to the breath. This just watching your body breathe is much easier than the above steps, because in this very moment, everything is as it should be; everything is fine.
8 th Minute: Count your out breaths.
In breath, out breath, count "1." In breath, out breath, count "2," etc. You should be able to count up to somewhere between 2 and 14 in a minute, depending on how deeply you are breathing. Short, shallow breaths are a dead give-away of stress!
9 th Minute: Watch your thoughts.
Now stop watching your breath, or counting, and instead notice your thoughts. To make this easier, picture yourself on a freeway overpass, and picture your thoughts as the cars and trucks passing below. Dont jump into a car or truck (a thought) and go for a ride, just watch them pass below and out of sight without becoming involved.
10 th Minute: Courage.
Now go back to watching your breath, and on each in breath and each out breath, repeat silently to yourself the word "Courage." In breath - "Courage," out breath - "Courage," etc. Dont force the breath; allow the body to breath naturally.
And as far as worrying is concerned, allow things to take their course. Take proactive actions to solve your problems, of course, but know that sometimes things come along that we think are tragedies, but in the end are blessings in disguise.
E. Raymond Rock of Fort Myers, Florida is cofounder and principal teacher at the Southwest Florida Insight Center, http://www.SouthwestFloridaInsightCenter.com His twenty-eight years of meditation experience has taken him across four continents, including two stopovers in Thailand where he practiced in the remote northeast forests as an ordained Theravada Buddhist monk. His book, A Year to Enlightenment (Career Press/New Page Books) is now available at major bookstores and online retailers. Visit http://www.AYearToEnlightenment.com
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» left by Anonymous (1 year 90 days ago.)
What she said! :) This is really practicable and I like the fact that you put it into a ten minute block. That feels so manageable! Having suffered with some severe anxiety a few years back - dealing with being assaulted - I was taught to focus on my breath. I couldn't do it. For some reason it just made me panic more. Your idea of writing and thinking is a great way to take some of the pressure off to allow more (continued) success with the breathing. Well done!
ps: I can relax with breathing now, thankfully!
Hannah Respond to this comment
» left by E. Raymond Rock(1,847) E. Raymond Rock (1 year 90 days ago.)
Thank you for the kind words, Hannah. I'm sorry you had to go through such a thing. I only hope that humanity evolves into more evolved beings some day. Your breath meditation will help you in many ways.
» left by JL from US (1 year 84 days ago.)
Good advice. We control our thoughts, or at least the direction our thoughts go. So many feel they are helpless and a prisoner of their minds. Respond to this comment
» left by E. Raymond Rock(1,847) E. Raymond Rock (1 year 84 days ago.)
Thank you JL for the great rating. But don't forget, there is no "little person" behind the thoughts. Just thoughts.
For the mind to break out of its self made prison, the mind must study its thoughts. When the mind studies its thoughts, it gets to know its thoughts, and when it gets to know them, it can forget about them, and when it can forget about them, then the mind can become enlightened.
Meditation is a short cut to studying the mind.
» left by Ryan L. (1 year 76 days ago.)
I am at home and I am going to try to go to school later on today, your method is really good! I think that if I can just think of the worst that could happen and w/e then it could be ok. I mean a little sweat at school isn't the end of the world. Thanks a trillion!! Respond to this comment
» left by E. Raymond Rock(1,847) E. Raymond Rock (1 year 76 days ago.)
You da man Ryan. Your mind is good, balanced, you should accomplish whatever it is you set out to do in life.
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