Emily was a gorgeous 24 year old graduate student who modelled part-time to pay for expenses. As she traveled the world, from Australia to Zaire, men from all ages and walks of life would approach her. She was appalled at age 16 when a 44 year old man offered her a large sum of money to spend a whole week at some distant island. Over the years she was offered bribes of money, drugs, and possible fame if she would only go out on a date with the suitor. Emily wondered why some of these men thought that their expensive cars, watches, name, or lifestyle were the things that caused her to get weak in the knees. They weren't. All she wanted was a man who had a good heart, was not a door mat, had his own opinions, and did not see her outer beauty as a hinderance to getting to know her.
Millions of women from around the world find some of men's behavior rather bizarre. Why would a complete stranger offer them gifts or money? "They don't even know me," says Jenna, a scorching hot 21 year old college student.
Before we get into how to get a woman really attracted to you and then how to turbo-charge it so she's always thinking about you, let's talk about a few of the things that make the attraction go away. If you're a man and not a boy, then a woman assume's you're mature, got your life together, and that you are not needy on any level. Which means you won't act "creepy" or "weird" or even "sleazy". These are common words that I hear women use when I go strike up a conversation. Here's a recent one I had at a popular night club in Hollywood:
Me: What in the world did that guy say to you?
Cute Girl: Why do you want to know?
Me: So I know not to ever say it!
Cute Girl: (Giggles) Well, he said he wanted to take me home....what a sleaze-bag.
Me: Of course you said "no", I mean, I took one look at him and I wouldn't even go home with him, even if he had a PS3 and an Xbox on a big screen!
Cute Girl: Uh...yeah....you're an odd one.
Me: Yeah, but in a good way.
Cute Girl: Yeah, a good way.
Me: I had a woman walk up to me and tell me she wanted me to come home with her.
Cute Girl: Really?
Me: Yes, but I told her I have standards. I just don't home with anyone...besides she reminded me way too much of my 5th grade teacher.
Cute Girl: Really, how so?
Me: My 5th grade teacher was really pretty and I had a crush on her, but one day she showed up to class drunk. I guess she was having it pretty rough at home. Anyway.....when she stood next to me I could smell her bad breath. It was all negative vibes.
Cute Girl: I had a creepy 8th grade teacher who always stared at my chest. It made me feel dirty.
Me: He looked at your chest? That guy is insane...I would have looked at something else.
Cute Girl: Oh really? What?
Me: Your nose. It's as cute as a button. Well, I better get going, my friends are probably looking for me.
Cute Girl: Do you really have to leave?
Me: Well...I could always ask that "creepy" guy to come back....
Cute Girl: (Punches me in the arm) Don't you dare!
Me: Jeez....we've only just met and you're already falling in love with me, I've really got to start acting more like creepy guy over there....
Cute Girl: You're funny......(Giggles)
Me: Yeah I know, in a good way.....
In the past decade I've made thousands of approaches in many types of venues: bars, the street, super markets, gas stations, night clubs, food festivals, swapmeets, amusement parks, universities, seminars, etc. I've learned that most women are attracted to a confident man who is NOT sleazy or needy. They want a man to be normal. Now some men tell me "but I am being normal" and they couldn't be more wrong. When I've observed them in the field they tend to act way too nice, are too agreeable, and end up lowering their own social status while elevating the woman's. This is a recipe for disaster.
If you can be somewhat funny (you don't have to be really funny to attract the ladies), naturally relaxed and confident, and are not looking to get somewhere with every woman you meet, then your attraction factor will go up. So how does one become a confident man who doesn't get stuck in tunnel vision? After all, tunnel vision is one of the main reasons why men do not elevate their game. Tunnel vision, also known as T.V., is when a man thinks and feels like he has to make it work with any one particular woman. They usually say things like "I really like this girl" or "I know she is special" (when they barely know her) or "I want to talk to her but I don't want to mess it up."
These phrases are signs of tunnel vision which translates into having no real pick up game. So how does a man turbo-charge his attraction factor to women? The first thing you have to do is to spend a couple of days (weekend) and think about what you really want out of life. Then you should think about what you really want in a woman. This will change over the years as you meet and date more women, so nothing you come up with is set in stone. I take men through this exercise because people who think about their goals constantly and write them down are 10 to 25 times more likely to acheive those goals? This holds true because you become what you habitually think about.
Once you've figured out what kind of woman you want it's time to focus on the things you have control over. For example, if you're a home body and never go out to meet new people you are not going to get better at meeting women, which means you won't be able to learn how to become more confident in social situations. You must put yourself in uncomfortable situations because this is the only way you are really going to learn. Reading books and watching DVDs are a good start, but when did anyone learn how to drive a car by watching a video? You have to get behind the wheel to learn all the nuances.
Think about your weight. Are you too thin? Are you over weight? You should always consult with a physician before changing what you eat and engaging in any kind of regular exercise program. What does your hair, shoes, clothes, teeth, and normal hygeine say about you? Remember that first impressions count because the woman that you're about to talk to does not know you.
How many woman do you approach per day? Per week? Per month? If you're not approaching at least one woman per day to polish up your conversation skills then you are not serious enough about improving your attraction to the opposite sex. It's okay to make mistakes. In fact, the more you make the better because all that means is that you will learn much faster. If a guy like me can do this so can you. I used to be so shy that I suffered anxiety attacks! I got sweaty palms and I stuttered when I talked to girls. But I kept approaching and over time my anxiety disappeared. I learned that most women, if given the chance, are actually pretty nice. I think in the last ten years I've only had a few women be rude to me (I could count the instances on my hands).
A quick way to become more attractive to women is to approach them and never ask them for their phone number. You can talk to them, even say they have a "cute nose" or a "cute ear lobe" (I joke around a lot) and then tell them you've got to leave. Tell yourself that during your first 100 approaches you will not ask anyone for their contact information; talk about removing all that pressure from your shoulders! Make sure you talk about nothing. What I mean by that is don't ask them what they do for work or what school they go to. At least not yet. For the first 3 to 5 minutes pretend you're in a Seinfeld episode and small talk about things going on in the entertainment world. You can also share a mildy funny story from your life.
I've asked women if they preferred boxers or briefs. I've asked women if they thought Lindsay Lohan would go back to rehab and if they would put money on it. I've asked them who would win in a fight, Nicole or Paris? These are fun ways to get the conversation started and once you break the ice you can talk about more "normal" things.
One of the most powerful ways to really become attractive to women is to demonstrate the you have high social value. What I mean by this is that you're a man who has options. This means you have a busy social, family, and professional life. If a woman knows that other women want you, that immediately makes your social status go through the roof. This is why I routinely go out with attractive female friends. It's almost like hunting with dynamite. Think about this seriously. If you were a really gorgeous woman, what kind of man would you want to go out with? And therein lies your answer.
Lastly, it's not money or fame that really attracts women in the long term, it's your character and personality. Personality reigns supreme in creating strong attraction. You develop your personality by trying new things such as new hobbies, taking classes, meeting new people, and really getting outside your comfort zone. Once you do these things on a consistent basis you will actually truly be "yourself" around women. I realized a long time ago that when I was acting nervous and shy around girls in school that I was not being myself. It took a few years and some hard work, but I'd do it all again. If you have a life, women will gravitate to you.
Rod Cortez is an international dating coach who can show you proven methods for meeting, talking to, and dating attractive women. His free newsletter will quickly teach you how: http://thedatepro.com/ |
