When someone does something out of malice, they do so with hostility, viciousness, animosity, bitterness, hatred, and ill will. It’s usually apparent by their demeanor that these feelings are where they are coming from. Their body language shows it, their tone of voice, the starkness in their eyes, and the words they choose.
However, there are those, myself included, who mean no malice when we do something, but it is taken as such. My intent is actually to do something good, but sometimes, it backfires on me.
I have made choices that I thought I had worked through and were solid, good intentions, and they have been interpreted as doing so out of malice. Not so. Stupidity I’ll claim, malice I will not. Stupidity is said to be simple mindedness, and I will own that. I don’t always work out all the details, or think far enough ahead. This has caused me untold problems throughout my life, but my actions did not stem from malice. I know they didn’t, but others have taken them as such.
It’s difficult to admit you may be simple minded, but it may also mean that your mind doesn’t jump to vengeance and greed and dishonesty, so your decisions are based on fairness and hope and want and desire.
You may think those wants and desires are justified and well thought out, only to find you were wrong in your thinking process, and the other participants feel you have cheated them in some way, when that was never your intent.
What if you find an apartment, and your salary will just cover all the costs you will have, and then your car breaks down, and you can’t pay your rent that month? Was not paying your rent done maliciously, or did you simply want more than you could afford? Did you stupidly buy a new stereo and TV for your new apartment, knowing that if something went wrong, you’d be in trouble, but you decided to go on faith that all would work out? Was that malice of intent? I don’t believe so.
What if you interview for a job, and the employer tells you they are really backed up with work and could use you right away, so you take the job? Two days into it, you know you can’t handle the heavy lifting and the long hours, so you go to your employer and give your notice.
He quite loudly expresses his dissatisfaction and you leave his office feeling like a failure. Did you accept that job with malice of intent? No, you took it because you needed money, and talked yourself, stupidly, into believing your bad back could withstand some heavy lifting each day.
Say you want two new couches, and you have some money saved up, so you decide to put that against the purchase, and finance the rest. Your new couches that you wanted and desired come, and they look beautiful. Then, your hot water heater goes the next day, and you have to have it replaced, and you don’t have the money for the first couch installment. Did you finance the couches out of malice of intent? No, but you may have foolishly and compulsively bought them before saving up all the money you needed and paying them off up front.
What if you got a good job, pays well, and you’ve been there two months before you go out and lease the car you’ve always wanted? You are so happy and elated to be driving your dream car. However, you are living paycheck to paycheck, and you have no medical insurance yet, and you come down with pneumonia and need to be hospitalized for a few days. That bill needs to be paid. So does the car payment, and all your other bills. You haven’t been at your job long enough to get paid sick days. They repossess your car. Did you lease that car with malice of intent, or stupidity for not knowing you should have saved up money for emergencies first?
How about if you meet a person, and find you have some things in common, and you respect some of their qualities? You begin to date, you think you’re in love, you get married, you have kids, and you realize your choice was made hastily, and you really don’t think things are going to work out. Was your haste in the want and desire to be with another, have a family and a home, done out of malicious intent, or simply stupidity and haste on your part?
Should you be condemned to Hell for all your compulsive wants and desires, or should you just learn how to make better choices? I think we all should be aware that what may appear to be malice, is simply the inability to see things through to the end. I have made a lot of mistakes over the years, out of stupidity and compulsiveness and wants and desires, but I have never done anything out of malice, although there are those who think I did. However, they don’t know my mind, nor how it works, and that I am a person with good intent, not malice.
My choices of good intent haven’t always worked out that way, but animosity, bitterness, and hatred were never my driving force.
I am working on all of my character defects, and trying to make sure I think things through more thoroughly. I think if we all were aware of the saying, ``Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity," the world would be a much more compassionate and loving place in which to live.
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