Slobs Take Over Big Time

       The rampant growth of slobism worldwide is as distressing as it is disappointing, and disproves Darwin’s theory of evolution that things evolve for the better and more sophisticated.

       In short. Slobs are taking over.

       Think I’m wrong. Book an airline flight. Go ahead. I dare ya’. Not only is the plane smaller to stretch fuel (and no I haven’t grown that much fatter). There’s no room for my legs. This plane is smaller.

       Sure. They don’t bother to try and cook gourmet meals on the plane like they used to, but instead throw a wrapped piece of horse meat slaughtered three years ago in your face. That’s the meal.

       You think this is unfair? It’s not really, because look at the passengers. They look like they deserve it. The sorriest looking group of slobs you ever saw.

       For those of you not old enough to remember classier times. People used to actually wear nice clothes on the plane. They used to dress like they were important people going somewhere important.

       They used to use deodorant. And mouthwash too.

       Look around you. See that guy with the exposed pot belly because his smelly tee shirt is too short? See his tattoo. Here’s a guy who belongs belching and farting in the greasy hold of a trawler hauling lice-infested potatoes on a hopefully slow voyage to Quito, Ecuador.

       See that gal over there? The one with the black dyed hair that she took boot black to dye, so she’d look Gothic? The one with the tattoo? The spikes through her lips? The leather boots like she just came off the shift of an S & M psycho massage parlor?

       Ask her to point to South America on a map. She can’t do it.

       I’ll bet her name is Wendy. She’ll hurt you and desert you.

       How did these people get on the plane? How can they afford to fly at all? Where did they come from? Under what rock?

       They used to be called “the masses." You know, average people. Drug snorting losers who work in chain stores for minimum wage. The ones politicians are always sucking up to promising they’ll give them free things like medical care and benefits.

       They’re coming out of holes and caves and taking over the world.

       It used to be that the rabble were confined to a certain part of town from which they rarely emerged, the run-down, rat infested tenements and narrow alleyways where sewage and filth ran open in the streets. When you would walk these narrow reeking stinking avenues, if you were one of the superior well dressed nobility, you would look up to be ready to dodge urine poured on your head from a window. And you would carry a good stout club to knock them on the head if they didn’t know their proper place as underlings.

       They’re modern now. But they’re still peasants. They’re everywhere today. I went into a gambling casino in Nevada. People used to dress up to go out. Now they look like a police lineup for serial perverts.

       Here’s a guy who hasn’t shaved in a week. Who has on shorts (dirty) and geek white socks with black worn (once nice) dress shoes. With a tee shirt that has written on it, “so many women, so little time."

       He’s pigging out on the free shrimp platter. He’ll swell. There will be more of him tomorrow.

       And I have to sit next to him in a booth at the restaurant where I have to look at him while I try to enjoy my $6.95 (on special) prime rib.

       I’ll tell you what. This guy belongs in the boiler room of a Chinese locomotive on the Mongolian Border stoking coal.

       Where are they all coming from? The ignorant. The tattooed. The unwashed.

       You want another example? I see on TV a kid accepting an award from a state senator at a ceremony. The kid is wearing what almost amounts to pajamas. Tee shirt. Shorts and tennis shoes. To visit a state senator.

       Does this kid have a mother? Possibly. Luckily for us, whoever occasionally deals with him made him at least wear some skimpy clothes. Next time come naked and dirtier.

       Go to San Francisco. Look at the people there. They used to dress up in San Francisco.

       Government did this to us. They encourage society to break down. That means no rules, no requirements, no responsibilities. The three R’s. They also hand out money and benefits from my salary that help people escape their tenements. Then the masses show up in airports, and fly next to me to Hawaii and help ruin my trip, flying with money they didn’t earn, through a job given them by a crooked politician because of their economic or ethnic background.

       The masses are polluting the landscape with their appearance. I suggest, that since our government is taking our rights away and spying illegally on us because of 9-11. They could also enact dress codes and restrict common people to a no more than a thirty percent quota in planes, restaurants and public houses. At the back of the plane.

       The rest have to stay back where they belong.

       Or, as Alexander Hamilton, the world’s very first Republican once put it. “THE PUBLIC? The public’s an ass!"