Everyone has their share of memories and experiences that they would rather forget, block out, and never deal with again. It can be done, I’ve done it, but there eventually comes a time when the skeletons must come out of the closet to make room for all the good things we are stopping from coming into our life. Blocking thoughts from our conscious mind only stuffs them in a black corner, waiting to erupt at some point. If we are to live a more fulfilling life, we need to identify what we try so hard to forget, work through it, no matter how painful, and then, let it go.
The freedom in doing this is like that of a kite sailing high in the sky. No more need for anger to compensate for our refusal to face our truth. We are a sum of all our experiences, and if we let those experiences haunt us, we could be headed for a rude awakening one day. We may suffer from aggression, and physical ailments as well, especially depression. We may only be living with one or two parts of ourselves, when the third part is crucial to our peace of mind.
Many of us live twenty and thirty years or more with our baggage stuffed away. Some choose to never deal with it. They’re usually not very amicable people, but they won’t let go of the ties that bind them. They don’t want to bring the memories of their father drinking, or their mother working all the time, or being molested, or abused in any way, to the surface. Once out of the abyss, they can get help, perhaps professional help, to understand their feelings, why they have them, how they affect them, and how to let them go.
This opens up a whole new world in which to play, and experience happy times and exciting memories. It’s like starting your life over again. This isn’t to say that pain and anger and hardships aren’t going to come your way, but with a clean slate, and a more productive way of dealing with them, they won’t be pushed back into the crevices of your brain. There are ways of dealing with aggression and anger and impatience, so you can keep a balance in your life, not too high, not too low.
Any type of adversity can be analyzed and remedied, if we can get to the core problem, dissect it, learn how to accept it, let it go, and move on. It isn’t easy revisiting pain, but to get past your father’s drinking, you have to first admit that he did, realize that it did cause problems in the home, understand that he had a problem and used alcohol as an escape, no excuse, but you need to reason the problem through, accept that you didn’t have a childhood like your friends, forgive if you can, and move forward.
It is a release of that pain that is the result of working it through. With so much pain gone from your system, you should feel better, happier, lighter, and have plenty of room for good things to replace the bad memories. A simple example: my dogs get burs from outside, and when they come in, and go to lie on their beds, they can’t get comfortable, but they don’t like me picking them out.
I prevail, of course, and get every last one out, amidst their squirming and threatening to bite my head off, the deeper ones hurt their skin, understood by me, but we do it, and then, they cozily lie down in their beds and go off to sleep. They didn’t want me to hurt them and get rid of their problem, but once taken care of, they were in happy bliss. Now they have room for bigger ones tomorrow!
None of us wants to go through pain, is the point, but sometimes we have to, so we can get rid of all the negative emotions we carry as we also affect others by our attitude and demeanor. We’re not the only ones who benefit by our cleaning house.
Once all the heavy duty impressions are let go, it’s easier to let the daily ups an downs filter through our system, and not keep them bottled up. The more we keep in, the worse we feel. There are always going to be certain things that resurface here and there, that you can’t quite let go, but it’s progress, not perfection. It’s a journey of getting past the things you can, and learning how to deal with the ones you can’t. How, you say?
Keep yourself busy with uplifting things, as well as the cleaning and laundry. I like to write stories. Try to find outlets. One of mine is writing, a very important one, and one I haven’t delved into in years. I also e mail people, and enjoy doing so. I stay in touch with people I otherwise wouldn’t. I have a relationship I am involved in, and spend time with my partner. I take nice baths. I surround myself with simplicity and peace. My computer table is filled with things I love. My room is filled with things I love. I have a mentor I correspond with every day. I have friends I talk to. One lives close enough to stop by. I am trying to succeed in what I preach. I’m practicing.
I’m learning how to accept the things I couldn’t, while not allowing them to take over my life. Stress is the worst invader of the body there is, I think. It can drive you insane. I’m focusing on not letting any situation get me to the stress level of getting me sick. I can get upset, and I can get mad, but I don’t want to incorporate pain into my life anymore. I know I’m going to, but I don’t want to. I want to live peacefully and contentedly. So, I’ll keep doing what I think will achieve that goal.
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