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Did you ever wonder just where we get the knowledge to live our lives in the best, most honorable way possible, and then teach our kids to do the same? Chances are, our parents taught us, and their parents taught them, but where did this knowledge initiate from?
The Ten Commandments? The Bible? Or from God Himself, whispering in our ear what to do and say to our children? How do we know about care and concern and compassion and passion and honesty and dependability and altruism and manners and respect? Where does all this knowledge come from? Do we subliminally learn from our angels in our sleep?
One generation after another, passing down their truths and beliefs, some are right, some are wrong, therefore, some of the next generation is right, and some is wrong, and it goes on and on. However, change is possible in anyone who wants to give it a chance.
One generation may be alcoholics and thieves and liars, and drink their alcohol, do their drugs, and never teach their kids anything. That doesn't mean that once the kids get of a certain age, they can't learn that the way they grew up just wasn't right, and there are better ways to live.
This could be through therapy, counseling, friends, family, spouse, whomever you pick to help you leave the past actions of your parents behind, and start your own style of good, clean, honest living.
Youre chances of rehabilitation into a better way of life are enhanced because you already know what it feels like not to live in a good, safe, secure way. Therefore, odds are you don't want your kids growing up as such. There are so many ways to improve your quality of life, which will also improve your kids lives.
There are hundreds of self help books, counselors that work on a sliding scale, and maybe, in some cases, for free. If you'd rather do it on your own, go to the bookstore and start reading. That's how I started. And I chose my first book by seeing someone I could relate to on Oprah, years ago, and I haven't stopped yet, some fifteen years later.
I've read self help books, spiritual books, near death experience books, anger management books, control management books, astrology books to understand myself better, and I applied what I read to my life, and things began to get better. I go to a reflexologist once a week, and she helps immensely.
The next step was to use all the information I put into my head, and lead a more carefree and happy life. We can all get calmer and softer if we first find out why we aren't so! Once we begin our mission of self knowledge, and change, we will see the benefits in every situation that arises.
We drop something, and we don't swear up a blue streak, instead, we just simply bent over and picked it up. This is change. This is good! Our three year old just spilled orange juice on the floor we just washed and waxed. We find ourselves telling him it was just an accident, and clean it up with no harsh, and long lasting words. We know how we once would have reacted, and we can see a change in our behavior. This gives us hope and an excitement that maybe life can be better than it was!
Anger comes in many forms, and originates in many areas, but it can be overcome.
When someone is not happy with the way their life is going, there is always help to change what it is that is causing them that anger. There are usually deep seated resentments that have never gone away, but were simply pushed to the back of our minds, but those resentments cause attitude and depression, whether we think about them or not.
I had a very volatile and angry relationship with my father growing up. I thought I could leave when I got my own apartment, and start my life over, and once away from my father, everything would be fine. No way. I dragged those insecure and unhappy and angry emotions right to my apartment with me. I took it out in other ways, and on other people. I couldn't fall asleep at night with all the thoughts spinning around in my head, so I drank until I passed out. I had moved my location, but not my mind.
It wasn't until I finally talked it out with my father, and had my own kids, that I could understand the frustration he had been under. I caught myself saying things to my own kids that he had said to me. That's when I knew I had to start my own program of recovery. I've come a long way. That's why I know firsthand that it can be done.
I used to have to have the last word, or it would, in my mind, mean I wasn't strong, or important. That has also stopped. I know myself better, and know I don't need to open my mouth to validate myself. At one point, I would have argued, screamed, yelled, kicked, punched, whatever my anger pushed me to do to make myself feel better. Ha-that never works, as I found out in my early twenties. That doesnt mean I stopped, I had another twenty or more years before I went on my mission of self discovery.
And I went to town, reading, listening, changing, growing, letting go of all the skeletons in the closet. I still have my moments, but I am so much better than I used to be, and it feels good, and calm, and I feel like Im worth something. If someone calls me a bitch, I know I'm not one, so I don't let if affect me, I know they are the one with the problem, not me.
It's taken years to get to where I am now, and it will take more to get to where I want to be, but I am in the midst of a journey of recovery from all the words and actions brought upon me by others. There is a lightness in my heart and soul that never was there before. All my hard work has paid off, and I am continuing to learn more every day.
I was not raised in a calm atmosphere, but that doesn't mean I can't learn how to have one myself. As long as there are books, and my reflexologist, and hints to learn on being calm and peaceful, I think I will make it to where I want to go.
Susan Thom is the mother of three children, two sons, 17 and 21, and a daughter 22. Writing calms her, and gives her a place to go. By herself! Clears the head and gets it out. She lives in a rural area, with a lake and mountains, her son and her partner, and has loved writing since she was a child.
She certainly hopes you enjoy her take on life, and her style of communicating that in stories.
She has been on a journey of self discovery for twenty years, and has learned many things about the human mind, and how to maintain some semblance of calm and peace within.
If someone reads one of her stories, and relates to her feelings, and maybe gets a suggestion on how she dealt with them in a positive way, that would be the ultimate gift of her writing.
» left by Angie Lewis(7,529) Angie Lewis (1 year 77 days ago.)
Thanks, Susan, for sharing this. It takes courage to bring out our past into the open, and I think that is why I enjoy your articles so well. You write with such sincerity and openness, and always have something so inspiring to say, and I do hope that others will learn from as well.
» left by Susan Thom(9,201) Susan Thom (1 year 77 days ago.)
thank you angie for your kind comments.
i have had arguments with famly and friends about my honesty on the internet. i've taken what they say into consideration, but i still write with honesty and conviction, and that won't change, and i try to give some helpful hints on how to lead a calmer life, as well, since these things have worked for me, and i have been quite an angry person for most of my life. not anymore. i try to share how i changed. long road, but oh, so much better!
thanks for reading and commenting,
best regards,
sue
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