For most Americans, Thanksgiving is the holiday that officially launches the start of the Christmas shopping season. We end up being thankful that we get an extra day (or maybe two) off from work, and a home-cooked turkey dinner with all the trimmings, hopefully with family or friends. But for a lot of folks, that’s where the thankfulness ends.
What’s To Be Thankful For?
As the United States ushered in the new millennium, we were excited about the future and what it could hold for us. Five years later, we’re at the halfway point in a decade where things haven’t gone well for the American public. From financial setbacks to job losses, from the terrorist attacks in New York City to the war on terrorism, from tornadoes to hurricanes, so many people in our country have had their lives turned upside down because of circumstances beyond their control. As a result, people are looking at the past and thinking, “I had it so much better back when…".
We go through a period of mourning anytime we lose something, and that’s normal. Well-meaning individuals may try to pull someone out of their grief by saying things like, “Things could be a lot worse!" or “Be thankful you’re not this guy I know, who lost a lot more than you did!" I think people say these things because they really don’t know what else to say, and they’re uncomfortable being with someone who’s mourning a loss. I wish I could say these phrases help, but if you’ve ever been on the receiving end, you probably feel a bit of the anger you felt the first time you heard someone voice those statements. And if you’re anything like me, you may have responded in exactly the opposite way your well-meaning friend intended. Instead of thinking, “Yes, I could be worse off!", you may respond, “Well, Mr. So-and-So, you haven’t lost anything, so what do you know about it?" Either way, the end result is people dwelling on their past and becoming bitter over what they’ve lost and no longer have.
Change Your Focus
Pretending that bad things haven’t happened in our lives isn’t going to help, and frankly it’s naïve and irresponsible to believe that ignoring problems makes them go away. It’s better to acknowledge that things may have been better at some point in the past than they are now. It helps to ground us in where we are today, giving us a point from which to say, “This is what we have" and to begin being thankful again. It also helps us to examine those areas of our lives where we can make improvements or changes, and begin working for a better tomorrow, when we will have many more things to be thankful for.
I can’t change the fact that I’ve gone through two periods of unemployment, or that my current job pays less than what I was making nearly 15 years ago. However, I can be thankful that I am employed again, and that I have an opportunity to learn new skills in my current job that will make me more valuable as an employee. I am also very thankful for the family and close friends who have been there when I needed support, or advice, or just a shoulder to cry on when things got bad. And I’m thankful that even though we don’t have what we used to, we can appreciate what we do have even more than we did before.
Look To The Future
Life is never easy. It throws us curves. It shakes us up. It sometimes even pulls the rug out from under us. Those times are not fun. But don’t allow the bad times in your life to blind you to the blessings you do have. You may have to search for a few of them, but they’re around. Find something that you have now that you can be thankful for. Take comfort in the love and support of family and friends. And don’t limit your thankfulness to one day out of the year. The more we can be thankful, the more we realize we have the one thing we all need to continue persevering—hope.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.
About the author: Danny Davids is a regular guy who’s been through a lot in the last few years, and still is very thankful for what he has, even when sometimes he doesn’t act like it.
