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One year to go. Pretty soon, the years of building friendships and earning loyalties will all just dispel into the forgotten past, to make that room for new friends, and the rest of your life. Everyone has plans- or rather, dreams and brilliant aspirations, they all want to reach the sky, and in doing so, each parallel pathway will take them away from their roots into the big blue sea of opportunity. We’ll be dropped into this vast ocean of the unknown, forced to tread water or risk drowning, for any island is too far a swim just yet.
It feels, right now, like I am literally the only one in my circle of friends who is actually prepared to strive to stay together and to stay strong. I do have plans of my own, in that I would like to go and study Criminology in London after I graduate, and I would like to go and travel Europe, and that I would like to go and do my internship in Bristol with the BBC, but I do honestly feel prepared to let that go, in a way, for sake of my friends and family. If not them, what is life really all about? What greater achievement is there out there for me? I dislike the idea of all our separate paths travelling worldwide and round and round, parallel, so that they will make sure never to meet again.
Relationships. Just months ago, they were wonderful. An 'official' status constituting butterflies and careless fun, holding hands and living in the moment. Now, they are reduced to some obscure harness that could hold you back from flying the nest. If I were to meet someone new, someone who could make me nervous every time they called, would make me smile uncontrollably, I would always be haunted by the prospect of the future, and them not being part of it. Instead, they would be living far away, doing their own thing, and probably, just for added effect, with another girl. I'm not denying this is a personal trait of mine, to over-think and to consider the future of something that hasn't properly started, but it makes me quite reluctant to get into anything, as I fear that there really is no point. It will just hurt.
Arguably, yet actually, accurately, just another of the many reflections of my naivety and inexperience of life, I write about my fear of change. However, even the oldest and wisest are naturally wary of the new. It means having to learn, to feel all the negativities of society for the first, but not final, time. It opens gates. I guess I'm just reluctant to venture outside the perimeter of my comfort zone.
Sara was born in Bologna, Italy, and moved to Buckinghamshire at the age of twelve. She learned English by developing a love of reading Stephen King (who, to this day, remains one of her favourite authors,) and watching Cartoon Network. Never taking an interest in fictional work, Sara developed her style analyzing of casestudies such as that of Ruth Ellis, coincidentally bearing her passion for the subject of History. Although careful not to rule any period of the past out, her favourite material includes the European Reformation and the men behind Hitler. Quickly, the study of History aroused questions that Sara took to answer by delving into the field of philosophy, concentrating primarily on Albert Camus and, before him, Jean-Paul Sartre. Most recently, it seems she was finally made peace with the world of fiction and eased her critical eye, adding authors like Philipa Gregory and Samson to her bookshelves.
» left by Leah(12,560) Leah (2 years 2 days ago.)
A very romantic piece, but you have yourself indentified the real source of your anxiety about friendships lost and that is fear of change. It is possible to maintain friendships over distance and time and fulfill your dreams and plans at the same time. I have moved many many times in my life and have made new friends wherever I went. BUT I still have my old friends, some from school even, those that is that are worth hanging onto. There is the Internet, the phone and of course the post.
We may not meet physically very often, but we are, due to technology able to be in each others homes in seconds if need be.
But stepping out boldly into the unknown on your own, that is the scary part. Do not place too many expectations upon yourself, just roll with the waves.
Don't be afraid, be bold and embrace what is to come.
With regards to love. Not much I can say to that as love does indeed hurt. Fear of losing those you love can make you feel sick inside. I've been there but life is for living and living it to it's fullest and that means taking the downs with the ups. It is all character building.
We are only alive for a single day. Yesterday is a memory and tomorow has not arrived. So do not spend time today worrying about what may not even be tomorrow. Just try to deal with lifes curve balls as they arrive.
» left by Judi Lake(1,883) Judi Lake (2 years 1 day ago.)
Aw, Sara, you are not alone to be wary to venture outside the perimeter of your own comfort zone. That happens to all at every age. As I read your article, it brought me back to when I was 18. I was 1 of only 10 who was accepted to a very prestigious fine art school. Being an artist was all I ever wanted since I was a toddler and now the opportunity was there. I was/am also very family orientated, however. So did I go? No, Sara, I did not; I chose my first 4 years of college locally because I couldn't bear being away from my mother.
For me, this was not necessarily bad, but through time, I have learned and adjusted very well to change. Life is exciting and as Creative above says, Sara, don't be afraid! Go forth and create wonderful memories for your grandkids! Respond to this comment
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