This could seem an odd thing to say but many parents do not recognize how crucial it is to teach children that dating and sex are not the same thing. It is a sad fact that many teenagers just take it for granted that sex is a normal part of dating and a quick look at magazines and television aimed at teens reveals just why this is the case. Do not just assume that your children know the difference between dating and sex and make sure that you get this message across to them.
Make sure that you teach your children the ins and outs of dating and sex from an early age and strengthen this message often. In particular, help your children to learn that dating is all about getting to know the other person emotionally and not only physically.
Teenagers will frequently have a 'single track mind' and you will need to hint at other things for them to do when out on a date rather than just focusing their attention on having sex. This might seem silly but you will be astounded at how often teenagers opt for sex as an option just because they are bored and cannot think of anything else to do. So, as weird as it might seem you really will need to propose things that your teenagers can do on a date to have fun. If you can get them to stay busy enough then there is a very good chance that they will end up having to say no less frequently.
A lot of parents teach their children how to say no to sex and come up with a long list of excuses or remarks. The is fine but a retort usually only works once and merely brushing off the idea with a retort is simply putting the question off in the short term and leaving the door open for the idea to keep coming up time and again. The solution therefore is to teach your child to simply say no clearly and firmly and that, although they might feel like giving a reason, they do not have to do so and simply saying no ought to be sufficient.
If you find yourself in the situation where a teen has already experienced sex then you might believe that it is too late to teach them to say no. This is definitely not the case. Many teenagers think that once they have had sex with someone they cannot reasonably refuse to do so a second time. The fact that they have experimented with sex however does not mean that this can simply be 'crossed off' their development list and you need to make it clear that they can say no to sex if they feel ill at ease. You also need to talk to them about the fact that having sex should always be something important and special and that considerable myth surrounds the significance of their initial sexual experience.
While discussing the importance of building relationships on far more than just sex, it is also important to combine this with teaching your teens about safe sex. However much you may want to do so you cannot always stop your children from having sex. Nonetheless, you can give yourself some peace of mind by trying to ensure that your children keep themselves safe, even when they do not avail themselves of your advice to stand stand their ground and make wise choices.
Parenting4Dummies.com provides tips on parenting and covers a wide range of topics including teen sex advice
|
