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Little Gena isn't sure about kicking that soccer ball but Dad keeps motivating her, "Go do it -- that's a good girl!" and she really does want Dad to think she's a good girl. Besides that her Dad looks so happy when she is playing his game (Oh, I'm sorry) her game."
Darla is quite a good pianist and she dearly loves to play -- in fact, she expects to perform well at the recital in two weeks -- however, she isn't going to have much time to practice on the piano; she's spending a lot of time out there in right field. Her Mom was a star player on her college softball team and Mom has been pretty determined that Darla will follow in her spike marks. "Look out" -- Darla almost got hit by that fly ball. "Wake up out there -- what are you thinking about, anyway?" "And stop that baby bawling."
Danny didn't care whether his basketball team, the Bears, wins or not. In fact, he didn't know what winning meant. He was just having fun dribbling the ball, shooting, and all that other good stuff in practice -- but it got different when they were playing in a game. His team lost last night and his Dad is still mad about it. Danny's afraid that his Dad is going to whip him if his team loses tomorrow night. They're playing against the Tigers and his Dad doesn't like the Tigers' coach and it has something to do with what they call a trophy. (I wonder if his Dad will win that trophy -- Isn't that the player's trophy to win?) Oh, Oh, Danny just came up with a bad stomach ache.
These kinds of experiences result in some really poor emotional experiences for our kids. We really must deal positively with their emotions. They are different at different age levels and they are different for boys and girls.
In general, kids hurt when they are embarrassed, ridiculed, or put down in any way. They hurt when they lose and are made to feel that they were at fault. They hurt when people make fun of their efforts. These kids are human just as you and I and they have the same feelings except that they are less experienced in dealing with these feelings and they have more trouble dealing with emotional pain.
Sometimes all the kids want is to get out of there and they will psychologically first and then physically.
Seventy per cent of the kids who start in sports at age 6 quit by age 12!!!
We didn't create these activities to inflict pain on our kids. We created them to make the world a better place for our kids.
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