I've been around horses for the better part of 25 years. I've had my share of mishaps, and every one of them was my fault. I've never had a horse intentionally hurt me, throw me, bite me, or try to fool me. Horses just don't lie. It's one of my favorite things about them. They are as honest and authentic as we could ever hope to be. They are the epitome of "what you see is what you get". In short, horses are just horses and they never pretend (or attempt) to be anything else.
Horses are very intuitive animals. They rely on their instincts/intuition to keep themselves safe. They have an uncanny ability to identify emotions, even when you're doing your best to hide them. I can't tell you the number of times I was in a bad mood and tried to get near my horse, only to have him walk away from me every time I got close. I'd put on my happy face and use my happy voice but it didn't matter. That horse would avoid me like the plague UNTIL I just allowed myself to feel whatever I was feeling. The moment I'd stop trying to mask an emotion, he'd come right up to me and give me his usual nuzzle, as if to say, "See? That's all you had to do. Just BE how you feel. It's really okay with me." I swear, it's the craziest thing, but my horse always knows when I'm faking it.
Now, there are a couple of things about the care and handling of horses that are always under dispute. But, in my experience I've found that the best way to get a horse to do what you want is to ASK. The whole idea that you can beat a horse into submission is about as barbaric (to me) as taking a branding iron to a child who is misbehaving. You wouldn't do that would you? So why in the world would you try to force such an intelligent, intuitive creature into submission? Here's the thing: horses want to make you happy. It's true, I swear it. But there is an agreement that must be honored. That agreement is we get to ride on their backs and use their power to facilitate our needs and we must honor them for what they are. That includes listening to them and caring for them and showing some respect. It's got to be a mutual thing or it just won't work.
One last thing before we get to the little 'summary'. Horses and people don't view time in the same way. What I mean is, let's say you are trying to teach the horse to load into a trailer. The horse isn't having it. You have to be somewhere in 30 minutes and the horse won't budge. So you might try all sorts of ugly things to get that horse to load. And the horse is still not having it. There is really only one solution. You are the one who's trying to beat the clock, so you need to rearrange your schedule. Because as sure as the sun rises in the Eastern sky, that horse isn't going to load until it's good and ready. The time issue is YOUR problem, not his. And he couldn't care less about your appointment. So, don't force the issue. It'll turn into an ongoing nightmare every single time you try to load that horse into a trailer. The best way to get a horse to do something is to make it so he WANTS to do it. (But that's for another day). In short, don't expect that your definition of 'timely' is the same as your horse's. It isn't.
How does all this apply to my business? Well, it's pretty simple really. To recap:
1. Be who you are. Don't pretend to be anyone else. While you may not please all the people all the time, authenticity goes a long, long way in terms of the Big Picture. People, like animals, know when you're being real. So, be real.
2. Don't fake it. Feel what you feel and let yourself go through those emotions. This does NOT mean that you can treat people badly. What it does mean is that if you paste a smile on your face that you're not feeling, it's as easy to spot as plastic vampire teeth on Halloween. Never underestimate another person's intuition.
3. Always ask for the sale/business/etc. Don't think that just because you're in front of someone they're going to know what you want. Treat them with respect. Respect their ability to make choices. Honor their perspectives. Listen to what they're saying. It's all about communication.
4. Throw away your expectations of timeliness when dealing with your customers. Your definition of "soon" and theirs may be totally inharmonious. You can certainly ask for a commitment, but you must respect their time line too. Make it clear if you're on a deadline so they can take advantage of whatever it is you're offering. But always remember that we all 'dance to a different beat' and that beat may be completely different than yours. Think Waltz versus Rumba!
One more thing: next time you think it's everyone else who's messing up and ruining your day (business or otherwise) take a moment to look in the mirror. I'd be willing to bet that 9 times out of 10, it's the reflection you'll see that's causing the discord. Take responsibility for your life, your business and your future. Once you've done that, the rest is easy to figure out.
To your success~~~in all areas of your life!
Camille Olivia Strate is an author, empowerment coach and critter keeper in search of the perfect pasture. Among her many passions is assisting people in returning to their 'true selves' by way of empowerment coaching. She believes strongly in 'paying it forward' and lives by 'do what you love and the money will follow'. Her latest book, "Whispers" is now available in eBook format. Hardcopy to follow soon! Visit her personal site at http://www.joyzachoice.com |
