We start developing our personality as soon as we come out of the womb. We are programmed from above to cry when we are hungry, tired, lonely, wet, or in pain. As we get a little older, we are taught how to soothe ourselves in times of need, until mom can warm the bottle, change the diaper, or mix the formula. This is our first experience in personal development.
We start to walk, and we must be taught that even though we want to stick our fingers in the dog’s mouth, it’s not in our best interest. Throwing blocks at our brother and sister is not allowed. Once we are fed, changed, and placed in our cribs, crying isn’t always going to warrant mom coming to get us. We must learn through personal development, how to soothe ourselves, and fall off to sleep.
As we get older, maybe four and five, more rules are applied. We may not want to pick our toys up after dumping them, of our own free will and thoughts in our own mind. However, sitting in our room, or getting a time out is worse, so we reason it out that’s it ‘s probably best just to pick them up. We have to sit in a cart in the store, and hold mom’s hand in the parking lot.
Restrictions seem to be everywhere we turn, but we are too young to make our own choices. How do we handle those restrictions? Do we scream and cry and have a tantrum, or do we develop our personality, and simply do as we are told, and happily know there will be positive rewards?
Our teen years become even harder. We are trying to get a handle on what we think, how we believe, what we know, and how we can apply that to life. I believe it to be the most confusing of times in our life. Hormones are being released, school is getting harder, we begin dating possibly, and once again, restrictions are imposed.
You need to keep your word, if you say you are going to call someone at eight, they are expecting that call. Your choice to do so or not will bring about the response that comes along with that choice. Disagreements are now beginning o happen between other people besides mom and dad. How do we work them out? Do we get angry and say angry things, or do we apologize, and try to stick to our word?
We get into our twenties, and a wealth of freedoms is dropped in our lap. We can drive, vote, drink in a bar, work, continue dating, or maybe begin dating. We now have a boss to contend with, and coworkers, and a relationship, and maybe even our own apartments, and the bills that come with that responsibility. We have cars to take care of and pay for when something happens, along with gas and paying for insurance. We need to buy food and clothes.
How do we handle everything? With ease, and focus on our finances, and respect at work, or do we get overwhelmed and give up? Our personality is constantly being developed. We are learning to pay our bills before all else, and food, and if there is any left, we can buy something we want. We can choose a different path, but once we find out what that yields, we need to make a decision on how we are going to better our lives, and alleviate some of the stress.
Through our thirties and forties, we experience what I believe to be the hardest part of life. Marriage, a home with a mortgage, bills, kids, and no free time for the first seventeen years. For myself, this was the most rewarding of times, as well as the most draining. As for my kids, I don’t know yet. They are still developing their twenties, and one will be seventeen. How will they handle the stresses of life outside these doors? What will they learn from the experiences they are going through?
Will they use them to their benefit, and change the character traits that aren’t working for them, and grow? I guess that remains to be seen, but I do know that experiences are happening. They are being faced with decisions and problems that they have to figure out and deal with on their own. I believe I prepared them for these experiences, now it’s up to them if they want to incorporate that preparation into their lives or not.
That’s what personal development is all about. Those of us who choose to be open minded and spiritual, will continue working on our development forever. We can make great strides in our personality if we are aware of our good points and bad points, and work on both. it’s all in the mind. We speak to ourselves through that mind, but what are we telling ourselves?
That the landlord will understand if we’re a week late on the rent? That our tires may have no tread left, but they’ll make it through the winter, our new computer is more important? Or are we learning through our personal development? I am still learning and changing and growing at fifty one. As a matter of fact, the past ten years have seen the most change, this past year especially. I’ve been exposed to things I never would have thought would happen in my life.
Handling those things is where all my personal development up until this point had to kick in, and much change had to take place. Along with that change, had to come acceptance and strength. "Turn the other cheek" had come into my life big time. What I felt like doing, I couldn’t. Instead, I had to accept and go along with what was happening at any given time.
Out of fear and confusion and anger, came strength and clarity and peace. The experiences I have gone through up until this time, my fifty first year, helped in developing a better, more relaxed personality. I believe I can handle whatever comes my way, knowing whatever is going to happen, God believes it is in my best interest.
I may not like it, but I can finally accept anything I am faced with on this journey. That doesn’t mean I won’t fight for what I believe in, but it does mean I can adapt, and not lose myself or my dignity. Nothing is worth getting sick or going into a rage over. I want to live peacefully and comfortably. Even at fifty one, we can continue on our path to a personality that is calm and focused. We can take care of what we need to, and move on to a new day, bright with promise. It depends greatly on how far we are willing to work on our personal development. |
