Secrets of a Single WAHM

Now that I work at home, I wonder how I used to have time for a job. Admittedly, I am not as stressed, I eat better, and I have a better relationship with my children. However, when you are at home every day of the week, you become consumed with home-based projects. For example, I am a homeschooler, so I am directly involved with my children's learning process. I am a home-maker, I cook meals, clean up, keep a budget and shop for groceries. I own my home, I have home improvement and repair projects. I work on the computer, writing and promoting websites. I have a social life and extracurricular activities, I sing karaoke and in a band, my son takes piano, we have pets to attend to. Needless to say, life can get overwhelming.

So, this is my contribution to the ranks of work-at-homers who, like me, become consumed by the responsibilities we put upon ourselves.

1. Multi-tasking is my best friend. When it comes to housework, I run the dishwasher and the clothes washer while I am out buying groceries, banking or running other errands. I run the dryer while I am emptying the dishwasher or cooking, and then have my children help me fold clothes. Quite honestly, I don't stress out about vacuuming or dusting...it gets done in time, but if I fall behind I don't beat myself up about it.

2. Cooking: I purposely cook things that don't require my standing at the stove stirring, or measuring ingredients, or reading recipes. I bake potatoes, I bake chicken, I bake frozen pizzas, I stew pork, I throw ingredients in a crockpot and make soup...and I work on the computer while dinner is cooking. (see? Multi-tasking!) Another great meal idea that kids love and takes little preparation or clean-up is something we call “snack dinner”. Usually this consists of carrot sticks, cheese and crackers, defrosted shrimp and cocktail sauce, lunch meat, cottage cheese, grapes, orange slices...etc. This also helps to clean out your refrigerator! My sons are also getting to the age where they like to experiment with food, so I keep plenty of bread, lunch meat (turkey or ham) and cheese available to they can make their own sandwiches at lunch time.

3. Prioritize. When a day gets overloaded, I keep a note pad next to me and scribble down priorities. If I don't accomplish them that day, they are sitting right by my computer staring me in the face until I get them done. I also have a dry-erase board by my desk that reminds me what my daily routine should consist of in case I lose focus. I update my dry-erase board often as priorities change, and my son scribbles me notes to tell me how wonderful I am and that I should also take a break every once in awhile!

4. On that note, take a break. Yes I eat lunch and yes I eat dinner, and the rest of the day I run around like a chicken with my head cut off...but there is something to be said about walking away and clearing your thoughts at least once a day. If at all possible, go take a short walk. It clears the cobwebs, gets your blood pumping, and you can go back to work with a new perspective.

5. Delegate and ask for help. Every parent will tell you that kids need to learn responsibility and have chores around the house. I am also an advocate of this, although this is sometimes a more daunting task than doing it myself. My son helps with the garbage, and he occasionally cooks a meal for me or takes me to lunch (which I love by the way!). I am constantly, however, fighting with them to clean their room, separate their laundry, or organize their work space. This is my own personal battle and I'm sure you have yours. Do what you can, make chores a game, or find some kind of reward at the end. Sometimes I ask my mother to talk to them, sometimes I ask my nephew to talk to them. Every little bit helps. Something my kids eat up is my appreciation. When my son takes out the garbage, I tell him how much I appreciate it and how much it helps me out. I try to stay away from conversations like, “it's your JOB to help out around here!” I do admit, however, that when my kids give me grief about chores, I do play the guilt card. Sigh. Nobody is perfect.

6. Lay down the Law. Around here, everyday is a little different than the one before. Tuesday is our busy day, we try and accomplish most of our errands on that day. I usually start the day with a conversation that goes something like this: “I have to write two articles today, so I need your cooperation, get your school work done and clean your room and we'll go get tacos at dinnertime.” or “We have to go run some errands today, get your reading book and download an assignment you can do in the car.” I don't know about your family, but my kids like to know the agenda of each day. Sometimes you have to really lay down a firm schedule, such as, “I cannot be disturbed from 9am until 3pm”, and in that case I hope you have an office where you can shut the door for privacy.

7. Congratulate yourself. At the end of each day, reflect on all the work you have accomplished. This is extremely important, because most of us beat ourselves up for the things that didn't get done and that leaves you feeling unsatisfied and overwhelmed. I go to bed telling myself I did a good job and I did everything I could, and all my efforts are working toward my dream.