Its easy for a guy to become entirely fascinated by the concept of becoming a pickup artist. The initial curiosity is, of course, whether or not a guy actually can pull women with the ease and fantastically mind-blowing results hes told is possible. For a good number of guys, once they learn some very real skills they soon come to the clear and delightful realization that, Whoa. This stuff DOES work.
And its no secret that I readily acknowledge that reality. No doubt: If you work hard enough at pickup mastery, you are likely going to be able to get the job done.
Next, typically, a guy with newfound PUA skill proceeds to make good use of it. Same night pulls. One night stands. Threesomes. Foursomes. Moresomes.
And to the average guy who has thus far not had a whole lot of positive experience with MOTOS, this stuff is nothing short of tantalizing even in mere principle. And actually getting somewhere in real life with it all? Outrageous!
No argument.
But perhaps an even more powerful realityand one thats talked about much less often in marketing copyis this: That lifestyle is not exactly what lots and lots of guys have in mind when they decide they want to get better with women.
Some of us want quality instead of quantity. In the back of our minds, we all pretty much know that there are TONS of women who arent easy pulls. Not coincidentally, they are often the most desirable women overall by any measure. If the mindset is that of having a great woman around (preferably the all-around GREATEST of all time), building a shared history with someone we can have cool adventures with, harboring NO CONCERN over sexual scheduling, andgo figuremaybe having a real, live kid or two, then the PUA training at best has a shelf life.
To those of you guys who take the long view from the very beginning, mad love atcha. You may have missed out on the smorgasbord, but youve saved yourself the heartburn.
Because here it is: If you jump headfirst into the PUA lifestyle, someday you just might decide its time for a change. Its altogether possibleif not downright likelythat youll one day decide to uninstall the revolving door. And youll be ready to step up to attracting the highest echelon of women out there.
Or, equally likely, you may instead walk headfirst into a brick wall when you least expect it. I have no idea what that brick walls name is going to be, but I do know this: She will be the most amazing creature youve ever encountered. Youll be pretty much distracted from the mirror foggers in your black book and ready to cancel your entire upcoming schedule. Shell catch you completely off-guarda total surprise. Shell blow the other options you have away, and when you try to spend quantity time with those other women, your mind will be firmly in touch with the fact youd rather be somewhere else.
Dont confuse this phenomenon with oneitis. What were talking about here is brought about by having LOTS of options, resulting in CLEAR RECOGNITION when perfect imperfection is in your midst.
And now, the most crucial piece: What will HER reaction to YOU be?
I hate to break it to you, but any incredibly sharp womans response to a recovering PUA will be something to the effect of, Very nice. But Im hiding the axes and chainsaws.
Whats up with that?
Lookit. Lets say you were convicted twenty years ago of a brutal axe murder. Or a chainsaw massacre. But you got out on parole recently because of good behavior. If I met you we might become friends. You know, have a beerhit the links with a couple buds. And perhaps you would tell me that the past is gone, youve had a conversion experience and you are now a changed man. Id be cool with that.
But Id also hide the axes and chainsaws.
A great womans reaction to a guy who has lived the PUA lifestyle, but who is now ready for a change, will be quite similar to what Ive just described.
Shes going to watch you very closely. And shes going to take a LONG FREAKING time to completely trust your new frame of mind. In fact, she may NEVER fully trust it. And she has that right.
Think about your entire life ahead before you dive head first into a particular lifestyle choice (even if you are 55 and newly-divorced). This is very much the kind of educated mindset that you must have before getting a tattoo, for example. The decisions you make now must be weighed against future possibilities. When it comes to women, when you make your bed youve got to sleep in itliterally. Deserve what you want.
Scot McKay is a character-based dating and seduction coach, online dating consultant, talk show host and founder of X & Y Communications. He lives in San Antonio, TX with his wife and co-conspirator Emily (whom he met online), three kids and two hairless terriers.
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