Festivus for the Rest of Us

Festivus was created by Frank Costanza, George's father on the long-running hit sitcom "Seinfeld". As the story goes, Frank was shopping for a doll for George's Christmas gift many years ago, and finally found one – only to get into a physical altercation with another man who also wanted the doll. The doll was ruined, but from this unpleasantness a new holiday was born: Festivus. For the rest of us.

Created as a non-denominational holiday to counter the commercialization of Christmas, Festivus is decidedly simple and can be a great way to celebrate something different with friends and family. It is traditionally celebrated on December 23rd, but many people host their gatherings earlier in December for maximum turnout. The traditions are not time-consuming, there are no gifts to buy or wrap, no decor problems will arise, and you won't need to slave over a hot stove for days in anticipation of an elaborate dinner. Want to know how to take part in this glorious holiday? Let's dig in!

The Festivus Pole
There is only one item that you'll need to pick up to prepare your home for the Festivus celebration – the Festivus Pole. Intended to be the exact opposite of an ornately decorated Christmas tree, the Festivus Pole is a single, bare, aluminum pole devoid of any ornamentation.

Pick up your aluminum pole and stand it up in the room where your Festivus celebration will take place. It should be tall, hollow, and heavy. That's it, that's all there is to it. No lights, no ornaments, and especially no tinsel – Frank Costanza finds tinsel distracting.

Festivus Dinner
The rule for Festivus dinner is that you may not serve turkey, ham, duck, Cornish hen, or anything resembling an actual Christmas dinner. Think pasta, meatloaf, Hamburger Helper – anything that screams home cooked comfort food. There should be no gelatin salads, no radish roses, no candied yams or glazed carrots. Just plain old, stick-to-your-ribs, carbohydrate loaded culinary goodness.

Alcohol is optional. If you do serve wine with dinner, anything pink, sparkly, and preferably from a box is a perfect accompaniment to your Festivus meal. Domestic beer would also be a good choice.

The Airing of Grievances
The Airing of Grievances traditionally takes place during the Festivus dinner. Each person at the table shares with the others all the ways they have disappointed them over the past year.

In recent years, The Airing of Grievances has taken on a slightly more global approach, in which each person airs grievances about anything and everything that has annoyed them since the last celebration. This could be the best route to take if you think your gathering will turn personal and ugly with the true Airing of Grievances, although to be authentic, you should stick with tradition.

Feats of Strength
Following the Festivus dinner and The Airing of Grievances, the Festivus host will introduce the Feats of Strength. The head of the household now gets to test his physical strength against a person in attendance of his own choosing. This honor is bestowed on a different friend or family member each year, and can be declined only if the chosen one has something better to do.

Festivus is not considered to be officially over until the chosen combatant in the Feats of Strength challenge has pinned the head of the household to the floor.

Try Festivus, For the Rest of Us
If you're tired of the hustle and bustle that Christmas brings, or if you just want something new and different to bring some relief from the endless holiday planning, give Festivus a try! At the very least, you'll end up with some unique and special memories of your relatives trying to grasp exactly what it is that you're celebrating.