Submitted by: Justine Musgrave(64) Justine Musgrave Log in to become a member of Justine Musgrave's Fan Club!
In present day and age, parents have become increasingly concerned about what goes on in public and private schools that their children attend. The increase in drugs, violence, and depression are just a handful of worries. Along with bullying, skipping class, and bad grades, parents are finding themselves at more school meetings. Their goal is to help come up with policies that are supposed to help teachers identify troubled students.
In Mascuotah, Illinois, a 13 year old named Megan Coulter hugged two of her friends goodbye for the weekend. Shortly after she was called to the principals office where she was reprimanded. Her crime: for hugging two of her friends, which, the school claimed, was clearly an act of gross public display of affection as stated in the schools policy handbook.
Many school policies stem from a 1999 Supreme Court decision that found school districts liable for damages in cases of peer sexual harassment. It was from a case that was brought by the mother of a fifth grader who was repeatedly harassed by fellow students and in a district that ignored the problem. If you ask me, I think there is a vast line between continual harassment that goes ignored, and a simple gesture such as a friendly hug. The hug, or hugs I should say, were not reported as unwanted and in all likelihood were accepted and reciprocated.
According to Megan's school policy handbook, "Displays of affection should not occur on the school campus at any time. It is in poor taste, reflects poor judgement, and brings discredit to the school and to the persons involved." -- Clearly what they are trying to say is that hugs are gateways to other sexual acts. Sure. But how about handshakes? Waving? Writing a note that expresses concern?
Perhaps instead of finding ludicrous ways throw kids in detention for inconspicuous and innocent acts school officials should sit down and identify the differences between unwanted or lewd contact, instead of that which is mutual. Surely it must be easy to identify that a child being stuffed into a garbage can is somewhat more threatening than a friendly goodbye hug among friends.
What I fail to understand is why these sorts of cases are popping up in several different states. We are living in a world of persecution, hate and violence, but we are afraid to expose our children to it because we think that they are too young. Why do we have policies on sexual behavior in school, if we have not even begun to talk to our children about sex? Of course we want them to remain innocent, but at what cost? Surely banning the most simplistic of humanistic gestures could not be the answer simply because it may potentially lead to something else or send the wrong message. Where would we draw the line if we did that and what kind of message are we sending to them by having over-zealous school officials in the classroom?
Several people have argued in other news that this local issue should not have become national news, but I wonder why. America was founded on the basic nature of freedom and giving voice to those that feel unheard. In this case, maybe it the public officials had responded to the father of Megan when he protested, he would not have gone to the news and it would not have become so public. However, I remember when I was growing up there were several issues of great concern being brought to national attention that ended up giving more rights and freedoms to the American people. People feel strongly about this issue. Maybe something should be done about it.
I think that instead of sitting back and letting the world oppress the future generation of the nation, we should teach our children to stand up and fight back for what they feel is truly important. In this case, the basic human right to distribute hugs and other positive emotions without being accosted. Teach your kids to stand up for what they believe in.
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» left by Hannah Quinn(21,134) Hannah Quinn (288 days 18 hours ago.)
Justine,
I'm shocked to learn that a child could be disciplined in anyway for hugging her two friends goodbye. As an outsider looking in, sometimes the US seems as mixed up and confused about how to be as any acned adolescent with over-reactive emotions. On the one hand, you (as a country) seem to be all out there, comfortable airing your problems in public; but on the other hand are tightly wound up and repressive about the most basic human state. When I was a kid, a long time ago, (in Australia), my social world was quite repressive - based on our English roots and religion. Now, I see young people, boys and girls, giving innocent but loving hugs to each other at all ages. I even get hugs from my children's friends. It's wonderful. As you say, what we need to teach our children is to speak up about what they see as an injustice, and most importantly, what they 'know' is a violation of their personal space and safety. That way, we will have well-rounded, emotionally healthy people who understand both sides of human contact.
Excellent article, excellent points. More power to you and to those who know how to and have the courage to stand up for basic common sense. Good job.
Hannah Respond to this comment
» left by Justine Musgrave(64) Justine Musgrave (287 days 20 hours ago.)
Hannah,
Thank you very much for your response on the article. I am so glad that I am not the only one who sees these points that were brought up. Thank you again for all the support and encouragement. I'm very happy that you enjoyed the article. Respond to this comment
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