Log in to become a member of Yvonne LaChance's Fan Club!
The flyer found its slow, jerky, almost painful way though my fax machine.
"REGIONAL MEETING 08", it proclaimed. Such & such park, such & such time & date, casual dress, blah blah, blah and then the Odd disclaimer which stated that you wouldn't be required to do anything you did not feel comfortable doing.
Odd Indeed. I immediately phoned The MAN. The Man is my boss. The man is my leader, my mentor & business advisor and, up until that specific moment in my retail career, my friend. I posed the question regarding said disclaimer, "What the hell does that mean?" He laughed, responding we'd be mountain climbing, and bungee jumping, (aka mountain falling), I stood there phone in my ear, eyes wide in disbelief, jaw hanging open and utterly speechless, he closed by saying, "It's a joke, Yvonne. It's just a meeting. HR thought it would be funny to add the disclaimer."
I took him at his word.
Maybe I'm naive. Perhaps I've lived in Northeastern Pennsylvania far too long, but, I TOOK HIM AT HIS WORD. Fool Me Once.
Regional meeting 08 day arrived, and, directed by faxed flyer to dress casually, I wore a silky blouse, chocolate cords and THE CUTEST pair of cinnamon colored half boots you've ever seen, (It's not like they were Manolo Blahnik's, after all, I work in retail for a living!). The van arrived at 5am , (Ewww!), and I stuffed myself in with the 12 other managers that comprise my district and the road trip was on. Choosing to live & work in the northeast corner of the state nowhere is close by, hence the 5am-ness.
I thought nothing when I saw my peers collectively dressed in jeans & tee shirts.
i mean our monthly district meetings are deemed 'casual, and, although I will admit to being just a weensy bit snobbish, this is what they always wore.
Upon our arrival at the meeting place, I saw a lovely conference center at a closed for the season ski resort. Surrounded by woods and a nearly cloudless blue sky,
I caught up with old friends from past districts until it was time to go in. They had a buffet set up for breakfast and round tables with comfy chairs all around a window filled room. The Mans boss, aka the BIG MAN stood up front and introduced the XYZ Team Building Company & also wished us a fun day, which aroused my suspicions. The XYZ head honcho stood up and had a few disclaimers of his own and then--had us sign MEDICAL RELEASES! Alarm bells all over the place now!!
Before I knew it we were being prodded into another van and driven up the mountain! When they let us out, we were instructed as to how to strap on a harness. As an aside, I have never had to "strap on" anything in my entire life, and, was not about to start. We were then shown a few of the days activities including the climbing of rock walls, the traversing rope bridges and running a zip line--Omigod! What do you think was running my mind at this moment? Yes! Falling! Brain Damage! Death! Looking like an idiot in front of my peers, to say the least. Oh, also the need to KILL my Boss, who, had the cajones at this time to say, "If I told you the truth, you wouldn't have come." Yes, he was right! Give the man a cookie! But, tell me, Boss; tell me, where on my stupid, plastic nametag, does it say Xena???
Frankly, I do not think you have to be injured to build a team. Put a manager into a dunk tank and get outta the way as their group rallies around, dollar bills in the air. That's what I call Team Building .
There I stood on the wooded mountainside and an XYZ dude is telling me to A) Put my foot in a sling, and B) swing across, and C) Allow my other teammates to catch me and guide me down to the ground. No! Yucky! Am I alone in thinking this? Everyday in our work life, we must be so, so careful in what we say and what we imply and where and how we look at others. Gone are the days when you could pat your coworker on the back, lest it be construed as sexual harassment. No Touching!! No Touching!! I have gotten used to not being touched as well, and I sure as Charmin do not want to be touched by these people! Are you with me?
The sun rises high in the aforementioned cloudless blue sky and it gets HOT! There are bugs everywhere! I don't like spiders and snakes and it's dirty! My cute little boots are getting dirty tramping around behind XYZ dude. I can feel my hair flattening out and my lipstick is getting melty in my purse. Id kill for a Starbucks and I need to find the restroom. What do you mean an outhouse???? You expect me to use an outhouse???? Hello! What time is it? 1890? (May as well set on a stump & let them all take turns perming my hair. Yes, for a girly-girl like me it was that unpleasant and scary, too.)I actually went near said outhouse, (though, I couldn't bring myself to go in), with another female manager who was 7 1/2 months pregnant and had to go. As we were walking there & back, an ugly thought crept into my head--How freakin' easy would it be for a crazed, psycho, raper of women killer to pick us off on our way to the potty? The funny part is, I was alone in thinking this--I know, because I voiced my thought once or twice & got the 'Look' from my fellow teammates.
At the end of 'Team Building", it was back into stuffy van #1, back down the mountain and into stuffy van #2 and the seemingly endless ride home where time was passed in quiet misery and not feeling very, 'Yea Team-like. Several people had been injured, including the BIG MAN himself who sustained a particularly nasty gash on his forearm. More like, ' Yea Workmans Comp.'
Attention; Company meeting planners and organizers-- Allow me to interject my own disclaimer: We are not robots, (any resemblance to actual robots would really, really be cool.), and different people like different things. If you must have planned activities, take a hint from the cruise lines and have a broad mix of things to do. (Just throwing it out theresend us on a cruise!!) A mixture of outside and inside would be great, too--I am an extremely fair-skinned redhead--I burn! I need inside. I know a manager who was, actually, born in a barn--he needs outside. Get it? Team building can be as simple as a dunk tank or figuring out a puzzle together or Bingo with funky, company prizes.
There is no need for a MediVac Unit at a Bingo game, (Please, dear readers, no letters telling tales of Bingo-related strokes or daubers in the eye!!)
Team Building can even be as simple as saying, "Thank You. We had a great year. Picnic, anyone?."
2nd disclaimer: To The Man--You won't know what. You won't know where. You won't know when. But, it's coming, Boss, it's coming....
» left by Michelle Spencer from Bountiful, UT (1 year 36 days ago.)
Loved it! Excellent writing - you go girl! Respond to this comment
Was this article helpful to you? Leave a Public Comment or
Question:
This Article has been viewed 81
times.
Article added to SearchWarp.com on Saturday, November 10, 2007 View other articles written by Yvonne LaChance(14)
If you found this article interesting, you may want to check out:
Disclaimer: All information on this site is provided for informational purposes only! By no means is any
information presented herein intended to substitute for the advice provided to you by any health care or other professional
or organization.
