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Sometimes it feels like the word "holiday" is a contradiction in terms… how is it possible that a time of "freedom from work" (as defined by my dictionary) can feel like it involves much more work? Why do the holidays often mean more stress instead of less?
The truth is that there's a hidden "catch" to family holidays: someone has to spend the time and energy to make them happen. In other words, someone has to do the planning, coordinating, cleaning, buying, wrapping, managing, and scheduling -- all with that creative touch that makes great holidays memorable.
As a work-at-home mom, I end up being that "someone" in our family circle. And like many moms, I tend to believe that I can go on doing everything that I was doing before, and simply add on all the holiday activities. No wonder this is a recipe for stress!
Ironically, I'm quite sure that I would be more realistic if I were a paid employee assigned to organize the holidays for my company. With my managerial hat on, I would find ways to cut back on other responsibilities in order to get everything done (send greetings to clients, organize a gift exchange, plan the company party, etc.).
How can at-home moms be more realistic as well? After all, the list of things to get done is always impressive at this time of year. In addition to the standard buying and wrapping of gifts, my list includes:
Decorating the house
Baking with the kids
Sending cards and letters
Helping the kids buy or make gifts
Entertaining the kids while they're off from school
Planning and preparing for a trip to relatives
And making various family traditions come to life (the advent calendar, gingerbread house, tree, and so forth).
Last year, in January, I wrote a note to myself and placed it in my "December" tickler file to be read this year. It says: "Don't plan to get other stuff done over the holidays!" In other words, as I would in the working world, cut back on other responsibilities in order to take on the extra work of the season.
This year I'm taking my reminder to heart and adopting a new guideline for time and stress management over the holidays. I call it: "Clear the decks in order to deck the halls." Of course, many of my usual responsibilities must continue over the holidays, but larger projects can be temporarily set aside and new ones can wait until January.
I'm also reminding myself of the importance of what I and other work-at-home moms do as we successfully bring the holidays to life. True, a great deal of time and energy are required. But we, along with our families, are rewarded by the joys of celebrating together and the special memories that we create. So now that December is almost here, let's clear the decks for this important and meaningful work.
Visit Ruth at www.vantagepointcoaching.com to learn about her 6-week Life Design Workshop and her ongoing reading group, Outside the Box.
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