You might think: "a man writing about relationship stuff?" It must be a work of fiction. Well several years ago, I would have admitted to being just an apprentice in love. However, I now feel that I have earned some worthy credentials. Nineteen years of marriage to a very loving and supportive teacher provided some valuable "on the job" training. I also hold a PHDL – a Practical Hard-earned, Doctorate in Love and I think most men have been through this program. My professional career is in forest engineering, I do Reiki healing and I practice meditation. This background may sound typical of a "weird west coaster", but I do have roots in the middle coast, as I grew up in Welland, and my wife Nanci is from London, Ontario.
Our marriage was not always very loving and fulfilling. We had busy lifestyles and we were slowly drifting apart. It felt like we were caught in a rip tide. We did not recognize the pull in opposite directions and when we did notice our separation, it took a lot of effort to swim back together. We tried some conventional relationship therapies. I fell asleep with the "how to books" on my chest while Nanci patiently waited for me to wake up to love. They say everything happens for a reason and I was grateful to find a "relationship saver" for our marriage.
It was during meditation, several years ago that I was inspired to create a unique new relationship board game for couples. I felt that the Angels had a good sense of humour because they picked me to create this love game. I took a lot of teasing from the loggers and my hockey team-mates, who nicknamed me Dr. Love. However, Syncrohearts came from my heart with the intention of love. It was a simple but very effective idea to help couples spend more quality time together and strengthen their relationship. Through lots of love and laughter, this game helps to promote more intimacy and improved communications. Most guys need to learn that great sex starts with good communication. This does not refer to the pestering communication just prior to sex. The "good communication" should have started weeks ago.
We did not learn enough about the important relationship stuff at school or at home. For most guys, sex education was just a physical road map of the female body. We were either too uncomfortable or too busy trying to look cool, to learn about the emotional aspects of relationships. Our male mentors including our dads, older brothers and know-it-all friends tried to round out our sex education. Unfortunately, this included the macho lessons that have been handed down, from one generation to another. Real men do not cry and we do not openly express our emotions. Wow, it is no wonder that we have a shorter life span than women do.
Fortunately, a new generation of men, are learning to open up and "expose our softer side". For the most part, we have our female partners to thank for popping our emotional virginity. We are now more comfortable to "shop for fun" and "sob during sad movies" and yet we can still drink beer and tell dirty jokes with the boys. We are learning that relationships are equal partnerships and that we have to encourage and support one another for the partnership to succeed. Men love a challenge and with a divorce rate approaching fifty percent in North America, we need to train everyday for this challenge. Some of the common sense things about love seemed a bit foreign to me. If the purpose of sex was to help connect us emotionally with our partner, why did we have to keep score on our belts? I have learned that it is not the quantity that counts, but rather the quality of the love connection. We are so concerned about our physical performance that we miss out on the true satisfaction of the spiritual climax with our partner. Most men have been practicing "safe sex" by wearing an emotional condom to protect our inner self. Help us come out and play.
Bobby O'Neal
Creator of Syncrohearts
bobby@syncrohearts.com
www.syncrohearts.com
Bobby O'Neal is a forestry worker who lives in Mission BC. He is also an author and creator of SYNCROHEARTS: The new relationship game you love to play and play to love created for all couples to improve their love for each other and strengthen their relationship. SYNCROHEARTS and Bobby were seen October 15th 2007 on CBC’s Dragons Den and were voted by all viewers as the winner of that episode. Bobby has written many articles on self improvement, love and relationships. Visit www.syncrohearts.com for details about this meditation-inspired game and more articles. You may also contact Bobby directly at: info@syncrohearts.com
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