One critical key to surviving in the world as a person of superior intelligence is to keep from being killed or maimed by some small-minded plebe who fears you because he doesn't comprehend anything you say, or who disagrees with you because he is a flaming idiot. And one of the best tricks to diffusing tension is to disarm the little people with a smarmy compliment. Sadly, unless you are a politician or lawyer, lying may not come natural to you. So as I see it, the key here is to come up with a compliment that will always be true no matter what.
The following are suggested compliments which are ALWAYS true which you can deliver at any time with complete confidence.
1. Your eyes have a striking openness that, when they're open makes them very visible, if you're looking at them.
2. I have truly enjoyed every minute of time I spent with you which was truly enjoyable.
3. Oooh! You smell so natural!
4. I'm sure that I enjoyed immensely all the things we did together during the moments that have been forgotten.
5. I definitely feel completely alive when I'm near you...and I'm sure I will continue to feel that way until the moment I die or loose consciousness.
6. This is definitely the best (sweet ‘n' sour liver casserole, baked armadillo quiche, eggplant smoothie, etc...) you've ever made for me.
I believe the adage that "if you can't say anything nice, you're about to get yourself into trouble." Compliments like these are sort of nice and can save your bacon when you desperately need an honest compliment. If you use these and have successes, I would like to hear from you. On the other hand, if you use these and get beat up, please keep it to yourself.
Ben Goode has written numerous books on a wide variety of topics. In his crass attempt to get rich from the ill-advised purchases by consumers worldwide, he is now putting stuff like this out on the worldwide web. The corporate motto of his company, Apricot Press, "When you care enough to give the best, but maybe they don't deserve it." speaks volumes about his commitment to humanity. And his corporate philosophy: "If you don't like our product don't worry. You can always give it to somebody you don't like," probably has some practical applications for your business if you think about it. For more of Ben Goode's humor visit: http://www.apricotpress.com
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