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Today I read an article by an atheist, which demonstrated more common sense, moral integrity and civility than many within the Christian community. As a Christian, are you preaching to the choir?
Recently, I have read the "talking points" from Christian writers (receiving kudos, by the way) that focus on the denial of global warming, liberal political bashing, the hating nature of God, the "abomination" of homosexuality, and the anti-God movement in the schools. Writers of a similar mentality rally around these folks and pronounce their "Amen’s."
I believe that one of the purposes of writing is to reach a wider general audience, particularly as a Christian writer. As a Christian writer, are you careful and responsible to write only information that is original to you? One can certainly maintain integrity, make a clear statement and accomplish this goal. However, I believe there is a “disconnect" between many Christian writers and the general public. They lack integrity and are preaching to the choir.
Cognitive dissonance is a term which describes the tension that results from a set of beliefs that can’t be fully reconciled with experience. My father believed that African Americans were second class citizens, and yet he treated all people with grace and respect, especially those less fortunate. The distinction between his beliefs and experience was disturbing to me.
Years ago, I befriended a senior pastor of a mega-church in the Chicago area. We went to breakfast together and I served as a needed sounding-board for him. His daughter, who was rebellious, got pregnant when she was 15 years old. He sent her away to live out of state with relatives during the pregnancy and after the delivery of the child. As far as I'm aware, apart from family members, I was the only soul that knew of this man's dilemma.
I asked him why he sent his daughter away. I found his response alarming. He said that he was embarrassed, and that he wanted to protect his daughter from the shame of the congregation! Conservative Christian "beliefs" don't always match experience – this is cognitive dissonance. Oh, we love to go on about "saving babies," but who really wants to care for them, or at least not judge the parent who has had the child out of wedlock? Christians are great in talking about prevention, but not good at teaching responsible sexual behavior and supporting those who have made life-altering mistakes. We must “walk the talk."
I am a lucky man. This morning I walked out to my backyard. My house is nestled near the foothills of our beautiful mountains. I was disheartened as I observed the haze and smog that clouded my vision of this gorgeous site. My experience tells me that something is horribly wrong. I don't need check my beliefs or Bible to understand this fact. Nevertheless, Godhas asked me to be a good steward of my body as well as the planet.
Evangelical Christians all over the globe are now on board with "thinking green." Christians have a choice. They can hang on to their “beliefs" and watch the planet continue to deteriorate, or they can follow their common sense. Contrary to some Christian’s beliefs, the concept of global warming is not a liberal conspiracy trumped up by those in the Democratic Party.
Many in the Christian community are unable to reconcile their beliefs and experience as they are reluctant to identify with those who define themselves as gay. This avoidance and judgmental behavior causes many gays to reject their faith or live in a constant state of religious turmoil. A friend of mine decided to spend a weekend of solace at a religious retreat center. It was meant to be a time of isolation and reflection. However, her visit quickly took on a new meaning. Gay men from churches throughout the country flew into this retreat center. Many of them were board members, elders and pastors of their Christian congregations! No one knew of their sexual orientation with the exception of the hundreds of their Christian colleagues who met at this retreat center to worship together each year. These men got together in the freedom of their real identity and worshiped God. They talked with my friend, expressing their sense of liberation and love for the God they embraced. My friend said it was a moving experience, and she was asked to join them in their religious services, which were filled with energy and passion.
As a Christian, when is the last time that you talked to someone who professed to be gay or have you avoided this group because of your belief system? Should the neo-conservative Dick Cheney judge his daughter because she professes to be gay? Can you imagine the conflict he must feel as a father and conservative politician? One’s beliefs cannot always be reconciled with experience. This fact makes life more challenging, confusing and complex. You can’t simplify your experience no matter what you believe.
One of the “talking points" in Christian circles is family values. Many have James Dobson, from Focus on the Family, as their mouthpiece. As a Christian, do you merely believe in family values or do you really embrace them? As Christians, do you support those who have been the victim of family hurt , or do you reinforce those who believe in spirituality and family values but justify their prior experience?
Beliefs and dogma will only carry us so far. As James Fowler, author and theologian states, “faith is an unreserved opening to the truth, wherever it may be found" (paraphrased). Learning to check our beliefs against our experience is essential to a mature faith. Christians need to reevaluate their thinking and quit preaching to the choir. Many potential converts to Christianity are being turned off by the inconsistent and thoughtless manner of those who believe they are expressing the Gospel. Are you preaching to the choir?
James P. Krehbiel, Ed.S., LPC is an author, freelance writer and nationally certified cognitive-behavioral therapist in private practice in Scottsdale , Arizona . His book, Stepping Out of the Bubble is available at www.booklocker.com . James can be reached at www.krehbielcounseling.com .
James P. Krehbiel, Ed.S., LPC is an author, freelance writer and nationally certified cognitive-behavioral therapist practicing in Scottsdale, Arizona. James has taught Master's level classes in counselor education through Chapman University of California. He specializes in working with patients who have depressive, anxiety and autistic spectrum disorders. James has written numerous articles on a variety of counseling-related topics, all available via Google searches. His first book, Stepping Out of the Bubble, is available at www.booklocker.com. James is in the process of completing his second book regarding adult illusions about their childhood experience.
» left by Susan Thom(9,073) Susan Thom (1 year 14 days ago.)
excellent james,
i share your passion, and i'm glad you wrote it down so eloquently.
my partner went to run errands and witnessed that a truck had collided in the snow and haze, with a child on a four wheeler. there were two carloads of people standing around, so he kept going. would it matter is this child lying still on the ground was white or black or gay or lesbian? i feel sorry for those it would matter to.
best regards,
sue thom Respond to this comment
» left by jamespkrehbiel from scottsdale (1 year 14 days ago.)
Susan,
Thank you. I appreciate the support. Take care. Respond to this comment
» left by Judi Lake(2,665) Judi Lake (1 year 14 days ago.)
James, what stood out to me mostly within this article is, "...We must “walk the talk."..." Anyone who's read my work clearly knows that I am very firm in my beliefs regarding God however, I am not called to judge -- never have been; 'not my thing or my job -- Lord knows there's much about me to "judige." Due to my profession, I am close to many gays who are better friends to me and my family than most. What goes on behind closed doors is not my business; it's God's. Recently a "close friend" felt led to pray for me because I am not a Bush fan -- since when is that a problem... who knew? ahum... This topic agitates me, I suppose, but all I can think of is Ghandi's response when asked why he rejects Christianity (which I've recently been reminded of): Ghandi replied, "Oh, I don't reject your Christ. I love your Christ. It's just that so many of you Christians are so unlike your Christ." That says it all, huh? I guess if I didn't have such strong faith, I would agree with him. Sorry for rambling... good article and... good to see you back! Respond to this comment
» left by James P Krehbiel(1,430) James P Krehbiel (1 year 14 days ago.)
Judi,
What Ghandi has said is my very point. I love God but I deplore what many Christians have done to turn off those who might seek Him. Thank you. Respond to this comment
» left by Robert Melaccio, Sr.(6,658) Robert Melaccio, Sr. (1 year 13 days ago.)
Yes, James right on the nose, head or whatever. An excellent job. I wish I had the ability to ssay it as well as you. We should never forget faith is not about a specific religion, congregation or pacticing rituals it is about being who we say we are and fdrwaing closer to He who we profess in all ways. Sexual preferance does not make the person it is the person that makes the person. Respond to this comment
» left by James P Krehbiel(1,430) James P Krehbiel (1 year 13 days ago.)
Robert,
Thank you. As you can tell, I have very strong feelings about this topic. If we profess something like family values, then let's "WALK THE TALK" and protect those who have been DAMAGED by those who never gave evidence of embracing such values. Let's not reinforce those writers who justify their bad behavior rather than taking responsbility for their past. Respond to this comment
» left by Hannah Quinn(19,736) Hannah Quinn (1 year 13 days ago.)
James,
A passionate article. It never furthers a discussion or issue to narrow one's focus to 'talk the talk' but not 'walk the talk'. There is always a chorus for narrow minded and unforgiving attitudes, unfortunately, and that never advances the cause, only maintains it, and blocks others who might have differing views or alternatives - even when the end goal is the same. It often puzzles me to ask: If God made us human, why is our humanness not taken into account by such people? It is no doubt a comfort to pick and choose and defend our choices on issues with 'selective evidence', but it gets us nowhere and advances nothing. It only ever can be zealotry. I don't think God intended any of us to be zealots. Why else would he give us the ability to reason? Not, I think, to refuse to reason.
Thanks for a powerful, thought-provoking article and the positive feedback to my article. I'm glad it had such an affect on you that it encouraged an article on the issues which have been on your mind also. Respond to this comment
» left by James P Krehbiel(1,430) James P Krehbiel (1 year 13 days ago.)
Hannah,
I've had some things on mind for awhile. You were definitely a catalyst for sharing them. It seems when ideologies and beliefs get in the way, reason goes out the window. We need to think of issues from different perspectives before we arrive at any convictions. Many fail to do this because they are afraid of what they might find. Thank you for your kind comments and for being the thoughtful person that you are. Respond to this comment
» left by Jean Horst(978) Jean Horst (1 year 12 days ago.)
James, Thank you for articulating this so well. I had a Pastor who called this phenomenon among Christians "incongruent lifestyles". There's so much I wish I could express, but words fail me. So, Thanks Again. I hope many read and learn AND do. Respond to this comment
» left by jamespkrehbiel from scottsdale (1 year 12 days ago.)
Thank you Jean. Needless to say, I have been upset about this issue. To the best of our ability, I believe that we all need to "live a congruent lifestyle" by having a proper balance between the spiritual and psychological dimension to our lives. In other words, we need to be integrated. Then we won't spiritualize about things that don't match our 'walk." Respond to this comment
» left by Stanley from Canada (1 year 12 days ago.)
You have absolutly zero understanding of the faith you profess. You don't understand it's Holy Book and you are confused beyond belief. There will be a reckoniong for people like you. You welcome disobedience to God and propogate sin. May God have mercy on you. Respond to this comment
» left by James P Krehbiel(1,430) James P Krehbiel (1 year 12 days ago.)
Stanley,
Thank you for reinforcing my point! It is judgmental, opinionated, rigid "believers" like you that give Christianity a bad name, particularly for those who may desire to seek Him. I was waiting for "you" to come out. Respond to this comment
» left by Stanley from Canada (1 year 12 days ago.)
Obviously different opinions scare you. There's nothing wrong with being correctly judgmental. Many Christians, like you, think we are not to judge. They quote "judge not lest ye be judged" but miss where Paul says to judge all things. If a child molester moves in next door, you bet I'm going to judge him. Throwing judgment skills out the window is foolishness and that truly does give "Christians" a bad name. As far as being "rigid", I'm sure you would've said the same thing to the Prophets of the Old Testament and you would've perished along with all those who opposed them. My advice is that you stop calling yourself a Christian (which means Christlike) and start calling yourself by what you are... anti-Christ. At least be true to yourself because you certainly aren't being true to God. Good day.
Stanley Respond to this comment
» left by Jean Horst(978) Jean Horst (1 year 12 days ago.)
Actually Mr. Stanley,
Those two words, "judge" are the same in English, but not in the Greek. When Paul says "judge all things", he is speaking of discernment. With the phrase, "judge not lest ye be judged", it is speaking of passing judgement in the manner of a judge in a courtroom. So while we are to be discerning as Christians, we are not to pass judgement on others. I believe Mr. Krehbiel is correct. Respond to this comment
» left by Hannah Quinn(19,736) Hannah Quinn (1 year 11 days ago.)
Stanley
Your replies here are full of contradictions and no substantial arguments as to why anyone should agree with or be persuaded to consider your point of view. You accuse Mr Krehbiel of making no judgement, but in fact he was making thoughtful judgement on a number of things and finding a lack of suitable discussion and/or responsibility in Christians in how they live in this world. The supposed arguments you bring in are both irrelevant to the topic and given only as proof of something without being proof of anything, because you pronounce them as edicts. Who are you to make such absolute announcements? Do you align yourself to God? To spit labels such as anti-Christ and accepting pedophiles makes no sense in any context you've presented. To think or have opinions, and then to present them in progressive terms of debate is neither irreligious nor injudicious. To believe narrowly without any thought or debate is not faith, it is blindness born more of fear than of love. Real faith can stand the test of open debate - without fear. Do you think Jesus was afraid of debate?
As James so adequately says, you made his point.
Hannah Respond to this comment
» left by jamespkrehbiel from scottsdale (1 year 11 days ago.)
Hannah,
Bless your heart. Were you on a debate team? You are good. Anyway, your comment, "real faith can stand the test of open debate - without fear" is eloquently stated. And yes, Jesus was never afraid to explore the truth in an open manner. Have a wonderful thanksgiving! Respond to this comment
You may believe as you wish, of course, but this quote might help you in the future when your mind becomes more Christ-like and accepting of other's opinions, which are as relevant as yours:
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”
— Buddha
» left by Stanley from Canada (1 year 11 days ago.)
Well, there ya go, Buddah's on board with you James as well as the other humanists here. I rest my case.
Stanley Respond to this comment
» left by James P Krehbiel(1,430) James P Krehbiel (1 year 11 days ago.)
Hello Stanley,
You see Stanley, Jesus preached a Gospel that is available to ALL people, not a selective few. He wants His children to "walk the walk" not call people names like Anti-Christ! I don't mind rubbing elbows with those who embrace a different belief system than mine. It's really ok. Doing that does not scare me into thinking that it will shake my own faith. What has happened to you to makes you so exclusive and tied up in knots with your beliefs? Respond to this comment
» left by Stanley from Canada (1 year 11 days ago.)
You are a hypocrite James, you act like you don't call people names yet you called me "judgmental" and a few other things masked as conversation. Your tongue is forked, as is your mindset. Your friend here also doesn’t understand Greek either. Spouting off psudo-knowledge as if they’ve actually studied. Pathetic. You’ll be relieved to know that this is my final post here, I simply can’t waste my time with folks like you and the others here. We’ll see who’s right one day James and I’ll remind you of this conversation.
Stanley
» left by Deirdre from Boston, MA (1 year 11 days ago.)
Dear James,
We live in confusing times. I absolutely agree with the tone of your article, and of "walking the walk." About the gay lifestyle, I believe that God disapproves of it, but that is His job, not mine. It is my job to love each person, and to treat them with the utmost respect. It is alright, though, to have rules, accountability, and responsibility in the practice of your faith - if Stanley feels that homosexuality is wrong, he is not alone. However, he makes all of us look intolerant and mean-hearted when he answers you this way. Stanley, God loves us all - the gay, the straight, the poor, the rich, the right and the wrong. He loves you too, and I believe He doesn't want you representing Him this way. Please pray about this. We must respect each other's voices to sing together. Great job, James. Respond to this comment
» left by Hannah Quinn(19,736) Hannah Quinn (1 year 10 days ago.)
James,
LOL. No I wasn't on any debating team. We didn't have them at my school and my college education didn't involve them either, and my extra curricula activities revolved around writing and developing plays. But my father was a champion debater with his work social club, so perhaps I inherited an 'argument' gene.
Have a wonderful thanksgiving and cheers.
Hannah Respond to this comment
» left by James P Krehbiel(1,430) James P Krehbiel (1 year 10 days ago.)
Hannah,
The argument gene! LOL. Have a great thanksgiving. I am sure we both have much to be thankful for. Respond to this comment
» left by Teresa Ortiz (356 days 6 hours ago.)
Hi James, forgive me for coming in on this conversation so late. Your article is well written and you make some great points. I have not read all of your articles, so I cannot assume I know where you stand completely, but I do have a question or comment - maybe both. First, I am so upset by the way you were spoken to by some people, harsh, rude and un-Christ like. Unfortunately they did prove your point. I guess I am here to say that not all Christians who believe every word in the Bible have mean and judgemental attitudes. I have some gay friends and my uncle, who is a Pastor has a gay child.( He doesn't hide it or excuse it) We know very well the tension this can cause, but we also know how it can bring about great conversations and love. However, God is very clear on where He stands regarding same sex relationships. (Leviticus 18:22, 1Kings 14:24, Romans 1, and more) However, what many Christians fail to realize is that homosexuality is not the only sin listed in the Bible. Take for instance Galatians 5:19-21...adultery, fornications, idolatry, drunkeness, selfishness... those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God...etc. My personal favorite is Proverbs 6:16-19...These six things the Lord hates, even seven... A proud look, a lying tongue...etc. I love that a "proud look" is the first on the list. When we receive Christ, He makes the changes in us and we should yield to His corrective work in our lives. I guess my point is that believing God's absolute truth, does not necessarily make one judgemental. It is in the attitude of the heart, it is in remembering all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, that we can extend love, grace and be a true reflection of Christ. There is such a thing as righteous judgement and that is being aware of what God says is right and wrong and surrending ourselves to Him and not following the waves of change that society makes. Okay, you got me James, I am preaching to the choir, but only to those who have haughty and who obviously are walking around with "proud looks" Thanks again. God Bless. Teresa
» left by James P Krehbiel(1,430) James P Krehbiel (356 days 5 hours ago.)
Teresa,
As a Christian, I wrote the article to point out the inconsistencies and hypocracy of those who profess to be God's people. I appreciate your comments but I don't expect everyone to agree with me. It's really ok. Merry Christmas! Respond to this comment
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