Now many of you will say you have your traditions and keep them regularly. Yet, how really fortunate you are. With the migration and breaking up of families and neighborhoods so went the way of many traditions. It is a loss which I feel has a had a major impact on this nation. Yet, as I say, in individual family circumstances traditions may still hold true but that percentage who observe these are really reduced.
So here are some memories past and present. How many of you out there remember Christmas eve, and what it was like? For us Italians, yet many of all races had their different Christmas traditions and foods. As Christians you always had Christmas Services and that was the event all geared to. In our home we had a traditional fish dinner. A dinner that the children often didn't like but the adults seemed to enjoy, at least some parts of it and yet everyone had something they liked to eat. There was all the "traditional" types of food and for you Americans Squid, Clams, Cod, pasta dishes and of course those Italian sweet treats and cakes. The Familia gathered by the dozen as did friends and relatives over the table, eating, drinking wine and coffee and solving the worlds problems. The kids off to bed the adults off to church and then back home to do their work. It was a multiple day celebration and in my home it still is although the numbers are far reduced then in days of old.
Christmas morning everyone gathered to see the kids open their gifts. Then it was a repeat of the night before with some ball games and a nap thrown in while the ladies gathered and talked, played cards and got the next meal ready for the men. Chestnuts roasted and the whole 9 yards and people coming and going all day long. Eat and talk until the eary hours even with work the next day. It was that bonding element that no one wanted to part with but we probably never recognized until it was gone.
The neighbors all knew one another and were part of your extended family. God forbid you did something wrong it reached home before you did. The police even part of the neighborhood made sure you got what your deserved before you reached home. The thing that struck me the most was all the love. It was a sea of it and even when friends brought people you didn't know to your home it was as if they were part of your family for years. Everyone was there for everyone and yet everyone had their own families. It was a part of the old country brought to America that made the glue. Yet, they were all proud to be American, learn English even when in their 90's I remember my wifes Grandmother, Nonna, asking to teach her how to speak English. It was a pride in that she was now an American. We laughed and hugged and cried and of course all the old movies and pictures came out.
Then came the big migration south, west and all over. Neighbor hoods abandoned, families moved, everyone looking for something better when in fact and in reality they had it already and didn't know it. Yes, are we not all the same but most ahve the same desires, neeeds, hopes? When we no longer have we miss? In fact when to Italy I wondered why they would have left the moutains for what we have today? Yes, it was hard and simple, not complex and not materialistic, yet as all parents who love, the key words and actions, they wanted a better life for their children, not them. America at one time offered that, in my opinion, no more.
Now I understand many, in fact a great deal of people never had this, they had little and Christmas was just another day of struggle and being alone. Some were extremely rich and wealthy but never had this, they never knew its power. A power greater then all their money and material possessions. Many families are now in the same boat. They moved away and now when Christmas comes they miss their family and in reality their children miss that heritage and tradition that made their family what it was. Nothing, no nothing was more important then family and blood! That was true of all not just Italians, but of all nationalities and when you became a part of that family regardless of who you were you had family for life. That transcended to your nation. Your nation was part of your family, attack it and you attacked the family and threatened all they had.
So, do we cry over it? No, we start new traditions and we build those through love as our grandparents and parents did. We recognize our neighbors, invite them in for something, share a few moments, put those things on the table that were traditional, yet perhaps not in the quantity that they were in the past but they are there as the symbol of tradition. Write old friends, email, let them know you still think of them. Do that thing, if possible, you did every Christmas or start something else. Invite someone who is struggling, especially with children and perhaps someone alone to come over and share so that their day is not spent in silence and loneliness.
Yes, we do not have to discard our traditions because we discarded an address and we certainly can start new ones. Ones that will grow your family and create a bond that lasts for as long as there is a planet earth.
So my good friends, merry Christmas or whatever Holiday you celebrate, all the best and peace.
Robert T. Melaccio Sr. Copyright 2007 Robert Melaccio Sr.
