Every year, new fashion trends are born while others fall by the wayside. After seeing the same tired trends over and over during the past 12 months, here are some that I--and I'm sure, many others--would like to see retired. Forever.
Is That a Mop On Your Head?
I don't know who started the hair-extension movement, but the insanity has
got to stop! Ladies, it does not look chic to walk around wearing long, drag-queen-like wigs on your heads.
Tyra Banks, this means you!
There seems to be no end in sight to the hair-extension trend that has stormed Hollywood. And now everyone--especially starlets like
Jessica Simpson,
Beyonce and
Britney Spears--regularly wear hair extensions. I don't know how to say this nicely, but here goes: no one is buying that your hair grew 6 inches overnight. It doesn't look good; I don't care what anyone else tells you.
Not Fas(s)cinating
Super-low-rider jeans that so many don on the street also need to be retired. By now I've seen enough female butt cracks to last a lifetime. Not only do super-low-rider jeans look uncomfortable to wear, but it makes onlookers feel uncomfortable. How can you avoid staring?
Last year I had the misfortune of sitting behind a woman at a concert and was soooo embarrassed for her. The rows of people sitting behind her got a perfect view, not of the show onstage, but this woman's backside exposed by her low-rider jeans. So ladies: Toss 'em and wear something else. You'll feel a lot more comfortable, and so will those around you.
Fake-and-Bake
Now that the cold weather has arrived, a lot of people want to simulate a toned, tan physique, which for some means frequent visits to self-tanning salons. At these boutiques, people pay to be sprayed with a self-tanning lotion that's supposed to impart a natural-looking tan.
The problem is that many people leave these salons looking like they have a vitamin deficiency. An orange "tan" is an oxymoron, and no one will mistake you for a St. Tropez resident if you look like a gigantic carrot. Thanks to advances in beauty products, there are effective self-tanning lotions that deliver a natural-looking tan--if you don't go overboard. Either way, it's better to look naturally wan and pale than orange.
Plastic Head Alert
Has anyone noticed
Nicole Kidman's super-shiny plastic forehead lately? She looks like an exhibit from Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum. I'm not even gonna comment on
Madonna's mask...er..I mean,...face. Similarly, when I walk around Manhattan, I see lots of alien-like, wax-figure faces of women fresh from their Botox injections.
When done with a subtle hand, Botox can help some women look refreshed. But what I usually see is Botox-overload, which defeats the purpose of getting this procedure, in my opinion.
Ladies (and gentlemen, in some cases): Getting Botox injections is supposed to make you look younger, not transform you into a plastic android. Besides, there's nothing wrong with a few lines on your face. Everyone has them--even 20-somethings.
Duck-Billed Platypus
Along the same vein, another tired trend is the "trout pout." You know what I'm talking about: those women who can barely close their mouths after getting collagen injections in an attempt to replicate the full, luscious,
Angelina Jolie-esque lips. A horrible example is actress
Meg Ryan, whose lips are so artificially inflated that she looks like a duck. It's just not a good look.
So the next time you're thinking of following the "hot, new" trend in a fashion magazine, consider whether it works for you, and whether you'll be comfortable with it. After all, the whole point of those trends is to make you look better, not just different. And definitely not scary.
