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Scot McKay - Dating Coach

What Is Your Attitude Toward The Opposite Sex?

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Submitted Friday, December 14, 2007
Scot McKay - Dating Coach (6,443)
Scot McKay - Dating Coach

X & Y Communications
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You know well enough by now that we talk a lot around here about "deserving what you want". The premise is simple but often overlooked: In order to get a great woman, you've GOT to be the kind of man who deserves her.

A day or two ago I was conversing with a friend when something very interesting came up. If "deserving what you want" is what you are all about, then by the very nature of things YOU are also becoming who a great woman deserves in the process...which is a great thing.

Of course, this also means that RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW not only is the bar at a certain level insofar as who you will successfully attract, but YOU are also who a certain cross-section of women is EXPECTING to attract. And my friend and I couldn't help but agree that people tend to attract EXACTLY who they've prepared themselves to meet.

Case in point.

The other day I was visiting a particularly well-traveled forum in the "men's dating advice" world when several posts caught my eye, all centered around a common theme: How all women---especially American ones (according to American guys, natch)--were basically lying manipulators who'll cuckold you and take all your money someday. It was like a train wreck. I didn't want to look, but I couldn't help myself. And the more I read, the clearer the picture became.

To say these guys were a little...um...BITTER was an understatement. And the most unfortunate part was that the threads continued for pages and pages, all in a chorus of high-fives and hand pounds.

There was not one dissenting viewpoint represented.

It was then it occurred to me. All the guys who would potentially disagree weren't hanging out in that forum complaining. They were probably too busy out enjoying the company of a great woman.

Guys all over the place are GETTING exactly what they PREPARE FOR from women. Rest assured, there are plenty of women out there who are warm, generous, playful, fun, virtuous and--yes--faithful AND beautiful. Some even have their own six-figure incomes and don't really need your money. Seriously. And most are great in bed too (because they deserve to be).

Can you believe that? Do you think that I'm a naive dreamer who's kidding himself? Do you think Emily is less than genuine? Are friends of mine who have, like me, dated hundreds of women each only to ultimately select ONE GREAT WOMAN (notably CEIC's Stephen Nash and my new friend Kelly aka Song_Bird from Social Rockstar) all fooling themselves and doomed to life in "The Matrix"?

Well, whatever lets you sleep at night. Except I think it's really keeping you awake at night.

What if it's all true? What if there really are great women out there? Deep down you probably know there are indeed. But here it is: You are attracting into your life EXACTLY the kind of woman you expect to meet...WHATEVER she's like.

This really isn't a "Law Of Attraction" thing either, necessarily. It's actually all about LEADERSHIP, really.

Lookit. If you have no respect for women and believe that they are generally selfish, manipulative, morally bereft beings who are only good for the purpose of sexual release then so be it. That's your choice. And congratulations-you deserve what you want. You'll continue to meet a steady stream of women who tend to believe that "all men are dogs", that you "only want one thing" and that you're inherently untrustworthy and must be tapped of your "natural resources" before you spend everything on gambling and "gentleman's clubs".

You'll grow more frustrated by "man haters" in equal measure with the disdain you express for them.

But the truth remains true whether it's acknowledged or not. There indeed ARE great women out there who respect and actually LIKE men, and want to be good to them. But a woman like that is not about to get mixed up with a guy who doesn't believe she exists! And on the flip side, no man who respects women and has mastered the art of igniting femininity is going to put up with a woman who hates men. He has reserved the right not to have to.

The most breathtaking part of this whole scenario is how focused one's tunnel vision can become in a very short amount of time. Sooner than later, if you choose to believe that all MOTOS (Members Of The Opposite Sex) are bad news you are going to be one lonely dude...and a sexually frustrated one, too, for that matter. All because your core belief will have become in a very real way your reality

So why doesn't everyone--man or woman--wake up to what's going on?

The answer is a simple one. Blame is the path of least resistance. Were someone to believe that there were MOTOS out there who did indeed live up to a higher standard, he or she would have to look squarely in the mirror. And that, friends and neighbors, is often more painful to bear than the loneliness of a world where all MOTOS are pretty much the enemy.

Or is it? Who knows for sure. It seems like many of us are too lazy to test the premise at all. Complaining is hella easier than deserving what you want, huh? If so, don't be surprised when it's only you and those who are like minded keeping each other company on the forums. Your female counterparts will be waiting for you over on "Oprah" and "Jenny Jones".

Yeah well, don't be that guy. It's not automatic. You can choose NOT to fall for the hype.

Do you have the guts as a man to step up and claim leadership over your right to deserve great women in your life? If so, you are already further along the path to deserving the highest echelon of women on Earth than most men, shockingly enough.

You'll have to excuse me now.  Emily is telling me she has a bubble bath ready.



Scot McKay is a dating and relationship coach, online dating consultant, talk show host and founder of X & Y Communications.  He lives in San Antonio, TX with his wife and co-conspirator Emily (who he met online), three kids and two hairless terriers.

Discover his down-to-earth approach to dating, mating and relating at www.deservewhatyouwant.com, and get a free e-book when you subscribe to his popular weekly newsletter.

 



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