Every year as the holiday season approaches I start to get this
overwhelming sense of apprehension and I am not really sure why. I
think it is because the family is changing and it gets harder and
harder to get all four of my children together at one time. Then I
start to reminisce about the past holiday seasons.
When I was a child, we did the same thing every Christmas morning
without fail. After the excitement of opening presents died down, we
all packed into the car and went to my Aunts house for Christmas
breakfast. Sometimes we took a new toy to show the cousins but it was a
time of relaxing and sharing with no expectations attached.
When I was sixteen my family moved far away and we knew we would miss
that year going to her house on Christmas morning. It was the sort of
tradition we didn't want to let go. To this day, I am not sure who came
up with the idea but we decided to fill the void by having our very own
brunch. My family had been experiencing some difficulties so starting
over and working together were not things we did very often.
Everyone in the family contributed some different way that Christmas
morning. I had been working part time at a restaurant and learned how
to cook so I remember I made everyone in the family eggs benedict. It
was wonderful. The result of that Christmas surprised all of us and
started a new family tradition as well.
That was years ago and now my children and my sister's children look
forward to "Christmas brunch" now. It has become quite a family
tradition and to this day, I am still making eggs benedict for all the
family that wants to come to my house and enjoy it.
As we get older we realize how important events such as those were to
growing up. I didn't realize it at the time but if I look back I
realize what an important event this was for my family.
One, we depended on each other that first Christmas so it strengthened
the ties in the family. We had never really been a Norman Rockwell
family but at that time we all felt like one because we actually
succeeded in having a great Christmas with just us. We could forget
about any family dysfunction and just remember family function, so it
gave us all a sense of belonging and self-worth. Every person in the
family contributed to the success of that first Christmas.
Two, it was very comforting. You have heard of comfort food, how about
comfort times? My family had been experiencing a whole new life. We had
just moved away from all that we had known into this new, smaller town,
where we were quite the outsiders. It felt like "us" against "them"
sometimes even though everyone we met was friendly and helpful to us
getting settled into a new life. Christmas that year brought us
together in a familiar setting which was very comforting after all the
newness we had been experiencing.
Finally, there is one surprising result of that first Christmas in the
new house. A second generation is now participating in this tradition
and they seem to be looking forward to Christmas brunch every year and
feeling the same way we did back then. So my children seem to have a
greater understanding of my generation and what we experienced in the
past. That is something they can't get at school and can only get as a
result of being part of the family.
If your family has experienced changes this year and the holiday season
will not be the same maybe it is time to start a new tradition. It is
not that difficult and you will experience the benefits for years to
come. Traditions are the best way to pass down family values to
children who will in turn, pass them on to their children and so on.
Start a new tradition and you will leave a powerful legacy to your
children that they will never forget.
Linda writes a blog about baby boomers reconnecting to the
visions they had when they were younger. She believes in replacing the old adage that retirement means the end of our “use" in society and instead believes in reinventing a new
stage of life. Find her stories at http://www.SecondActLiving.com
Disclaimer: All information on this site is provided for informational purposes only! By no means is any
information presented herein intended to substitute for the advice provided to you by any health care or other professional
or organization.
