I grew up a worrier. My mom was an expert worrier. During the holidays, I worry enough for ten people no matter what my current situation at the time might be. My mom was that way and I learned quickly how to imitate her.
I grew up in a trailer in a not so good part of town. We didn't have much, but my mom always did extra to make sure our Christmas and Birthdays were special. For some same reason, I begin stressing months before in hopes to make sure my kids get the same treatment and in the process drive everyone in my family insane. My mind knows that Christmas time is not about the gifts or the celebration. I know it is about the birth of Christ. But I stress. I stress because I want everyone I love to know they are loved.
For the first time in my life this Christmas, I am in the process of letting go of the worries. I have found blessings in my life in the most unusual of circumstances and this is the first year that I have never felt more blessed. At times, I find myself even feeling guilty because of those blessings. I have let go of the pity party for the first Christmas ever and I am just so thankful to God for all he continues to work in our lives.
What brought this on, you may ask? I had my mind set that this was most likely going to be the worse Christmas ever. It has turned into the best Christmas ever. A series of unexpected blessings have led us to be able to provide for our family and solve some big issues at the same time.
We started out the month very negative financially. We had some unexpected expenses and there were many days I asked my husband if we could just run away. We had a car needing brakes, a water heater going out and endless bills.
Thank God because every one of our prayers was answered. Our water heater just needed a part and my manly husband fixed it. We were able to get our grinding brakes fixed today because of the kindness of a stranger. After much prayer, we received a letter in the mail last night that was addressed to us and had a return address label that was also addressed to us. Inside was $300 in American Express gift checks from an anonymous giver.
What is most special about this time is seeing God's sense of humor. Our really good friends had their cars stolen (eventually found) earlier this week. Feeling helpless, we decided to cook them dinner. I was worried about the money and costs while I shopped, but my husband and I knew that we wanted to do something for this family. I spent $30 on the groceries for this couples' meal.
I have chills just thinking had God multiplied my giving ten times.
This is not the first time something like this has happened to us. Earlier this year, when I was ready to give up, we received $200 in the mail anonymously. Both times were answers to prayer. Most likely, we will never know who the giver was who gave us the money but my heart just grows warm with love for this anonymous giver. They most likely will never know how much their gift meant to us.
For the first time in a long time, my husband has passion for life. He is starting a new business venture and I don't think I have ever seen him more excited about life. It isn't the work, though that makes him happy. I think it is the chance to see that he can succeed on his own.
It is the people that my husband and I work for that have given both of us a new look on life. They are more than bosses and mentors-they are the most amazing friends we have ever had. They are encouraging, supportive financially and spiritually and they have moved many mountains in our lives this year.
This is the first year that our family will stay home in Houston for the Holidays. I thought when we first moved here that I would never refer to this as home. Now, I can't imagine calling it anything else. Who would have thought that having a sick child would be a blessing, but it is because it is keeping us home.
My husband for the first time as well has an entire week off of work. We will be able to stay home with our family and just spend time together. There will be no feeling guilty because we didn't spend time with so and so. There will be no being upset because we haven't seen our kids in days because they are playing with their cousins. There will be no eight-hour drive with kids tired and whining in the back seats. Our kids will have the opportunity to play with their toys for the first time after Christmas instead of hopping in a car.
We will be together with our friends who are very much considered family. We will spend time being thankful. It is because of this that I have come to realize that I am truly blessed this Christmas.
I have a God willing to take on flesh and die for me! I have unexpected blessings under most unusual circumstances! I have a faith that has never been stronger! I have mentors/friends who want nothing but the best for my family! Thank you God for Christmas! I am ready to move past the worrying into the future no matter what it brings!
