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HO HO HO! Its that time of year, Christmas time! What present can
I give to you that could give you lots of joy for the year? Parenting Secrets from Santa Clause...
Santa's Secret #1: You can't do it all in one day.
Santa and his elves work all year on toys and gifts to get ready for
Christmas. Lets face it, there is a push to "Change your life in 10
days," or to "instantly change your ways..." BUT, you can begin to
change today, to improve and realize it takes practice and time to get
it done. You can get closer with your step kids, but one day won't do
it. Santa's number one secret is to work all year long on getting
closer with your step kids.
Santa's Secret #2: You can't fly the sleigh by yourself, you need a team.
The reindeers allows Santa to fly to deliver the joy to the kids. His
team helps him. You need a team too! Your team can be the audio
programs we offer and your team can by your kids themselves. I have
witnessed step dads working against their kids creating enemies. And
I have seen step dads develop a strong relationship where his step kids
begin to help, and they become a team. When a step dad doesn't allow
his step kids to play any reindeer games, then they feel seperated and
a negative energy shows up, so why try. Instead, allow them to play,
and play games with them. They too can become your team.
Santa's Secret #3: You need a goal in mind.
Santa gets his elves to work all year long for one day. He keeps them
motivated by knowing that Christmas is coming, all year long. To keep
you going, you need a goal in mind. Start with little goals, like
spending 30 minutes one on one with your step kid. You can go to the
park, and if you do, don't just sit and watch, jump up and down with
them. OR take them to the movies and notice what they laugh at, what
makes them turn their heads. You can begin to notice what they notice,
a real key in learning their internal and external strategies.
Santa's Secret #4: Don't put poison lead in the toys, so don't put poison in your relationship.
I'm sure you have read or heard about imported toys having Lead paint
in them, dangerous for kids. But have you heard about step dads that
poison their relationship by words and their own behaviors? I saw one
night how a step dad used such harsh words with his step son that his
step son ran out of the room. I felt the negative energy in my body.
I too left the room and later called out the step dad while we were
alone. He didn't have a clue what his words had done, his old habits
where just that, habits. A way for him to fall asleep at the wheel and
keep driving. Don't poison your step kids. Learn new ways, and give
them and yourself a chance!
Santa's Secret #5: Don't give your kids sugar an hour before bed.
Lets face it, when you excite a child you have to let them have the
time to enjoy the excitement. Don't promise them that you will do
something and then the next day put it off because you're tired or too
busy. You will never hear anyone say on their death bed that they
wished they had spent more time watching their favorite T.V. show. So
EXCITE your kids, and let them enjoy the excitement.
Santa's Secret #6: Gifts are about giving.
Its funny as I think about my childhood how I don't remember a
particular toy I got or didn't get. I do remember waking my mom and
dad up at very early times in the morning because of my exitement. I do
remember sitting on Santa's lap for the last time knowing that Santa
was real. I remember my family getting together for that day. And
that is special. My kids don't remember a toy they got a few years ago
or one they didn't get. They do remember going out and cutting down a
Christmas tree every year and bringing it home. So give a gift to your
step kids that they will remember every day; Give them a hug, even if
it feels awkward. It starts with one little hug and then begins to
feel comfortable for you. But, if you let the awkwardness hold you
back you are not giving the gift. Give the gift of a lifetime. Give
love!
Well there you have it. Parenting Secrets of Santa
Clause. I hope you and yours have a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy
New Year. Enjoy the egg nog and enjoy giving to each other!
Love.
Wishing you the very best,
Emmett, Visionary Step Dad
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