How would you rate yourself on the skill of listening? Are you able to relate the details of your associates' input, or are you left scratching your head after they leave while trying to retrieve what you know was important? How would you rate those closest to you? Chances are that you would rate them fairly high, as this may well be why they are in your life. They listen to you. They may even like it.
We live in a rushed environment and due to this hustle - bustle, listening as a skill gets put on the back shelf as we rush to prepare reports, develop a new strategy, conduct a meeting or meet those enormous goals we've taken on as our own. Regardless of whether our role is that of a parent or CEO, the more effectively we listen, the more smoothly and effectively things seem to flow in our lives.
In "Lions Don't Need To Roar," D.A. Benton discusses the importance of effective listening:
"Top people listen more than they talk, and when they listen, they really listen. They know that the only way to have an effective dialogue with someone is to listen effectively. "
Effective listening involves more than just making eye contact or just keeping your mouth shut. As you no doubt know, you can both do that and look attentive without actually being attentive. You won't want to make a less-than-favorable impression on the person with whom you are conversing, nor do you want to miss anything important that's said, so it's wise to focus your attention and not be diverted.
Here are seven of D.A. and my effective listening suggestions to foster stronger listening skills:
o Remember to pause and to allow long enough so that all parties have ample time to digest and comment upon what is being said.
o Silence your internal dialogue and your inner critic chatter. Breathing helps.
o Repeat what you hear for clarification, but not so often that it is distracting.
o Encourage the speaker to continue, i.e., "Fascinating; tell me more!" o Resist the temptation to jump in and speak as soon as the speaker makes a great point or takes a breath. Silence is golden. Allow them to continue their stream of thought.
o When appropriate, refer back to something that was said earlier in the conversation to reassure the speaker that you were listening and that what they were saying was, in fact, important to you.
o Show gratitude for their contribution at every given opportunity.
Enjoy the many, many benefits of purposeful and effective listening this week. I'd love it if you aggrandize your life with these skills.
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