Last night while I was tossing and turning trying to fall back asleep, I thought about my grandchildren, and how I wish I could somehow regress, just enough to a time where I could see the world as they do, through their eyes, with the innocence, excitement and the anticipation of trying something new, meeting someone for the first time and not judging them by the color of their skin, the way they worship and just enjoy their company for who they are without any outside influence that might spoil that emotional sense of being. It is a shame that as we mature, we loose that ability to do things for just the shear pleasure of trying something new without hesitation or fear or worry about what others might think of that decision to do it in the first place.
When we are born we are like clean slates. We have no fear of the unknown, don't have the capacity for hate, and we trust those around us to care and nurture us. For the first few weeks of life, we are dependent on others for all our needs and each week, as we develop, we look around us in pure delight as to what we can start to do ourselves. We begin to focus and smile and as the weeks go by, discover ourselves and what our hands are feet look like and eventually how they work. We eventually begin to move from simply rolling from our backs to our stomachs to actually crawling and then comes the time we take our first step. If we are blessed with are doing all these things with the help of those who love us and share in our excitement to learn all these new things.
I watch and feel pure delight when my two year old granddaughter plays in the park and approaches another child. She doesn't think about the color of that child's skin or even what language that child speaks. She looks at that child as a potential playmate, someone to have fun with on the jungle gym. I think about how innocent her gesture is and that she will evenually at no fault of her own, learn about prejudice, and fear of the unknown. Believe me, not from me, my husband, my children,or even my family, but from other's around her, the media and other outside influences. She will learn about the cruelty of ethnic jokes, how sometimes religion can even in an innocent way, make others less tolerant of your beliefs and how people have a way of judging you by a name or the way you may look. I hope and pray that even though she will be subjected to that, she will never loose her ability to think as an individual and to stand up for what she knows is the right thing to do.
I have a grandson, who was a special gift given to me. My son married a lovely girl who had a son from a previous marriage. He was five when they married and we developed an immediate bond. I was thrilled to be an instant grandma and looked forward to all the things we could do together not to mention all the spoiling I could do as well. My son, loved him as his own and legally abdopted him immediately after he married. We were so excited that he now carried our name and he even had a new birth certificate issued that listed our son as his Dad. What made our relationship even more special is that his Mom is the daughter of a Baptist minister and my new "daughter" insisted that he learn about his Jewish heritage as well. I felt honored that she wanted him to learn and I looked at it as a way to teach him tolerance and respect for not just our religions, but for all religions. Sometimes through stupid comments, children learn hatred.
When my son was in Hebrew school, actually a month from his Bar Mitzvah, he had a teacher who made a horrible comment about how one ethnic group was not interested in education. I really do not wish to tell you what was actually said for it would offend those who were reading this article but I do want to tell you how my son reacted to that comment. He stood up in his chair and told the teacher to her face, that it was a racist comment and that his parents did not send him to Hebrew School to learn hate, but to learn about his culture and religion. She was embarrassed and angry that he spoke out and told him to go to the principal's office. He said, I am looking forward to going and to telling her why I am here. When they called me to come to the school I demanded to see the teacher that was teaching hatred and intolerance to my child and wanted her terminated, and I became more angry when they did not even investigate the issue. The day after my son's Bar Mitzvah, he refused to go back to Hebrew School and the same principal called us and asked why. His answer was that he was now officially a man, and did not care whether he was a Hebrew School drop out or not, I told her point blank that I respected his decision and did not appreciate the fact that they would allow a teacher to influence her students in a negative light and teach them that it was OK to judge others, and think that they were better than anyone else who wasn't Jewish. I know this might be an isolated case, but then again, I wonder from the way some people react to others that are different from them if they were also taught to think they were better. I do not tolerate anyone who feels that they are the "chosen" ones and that their way of practicing religion is better than my way or that I will go to hell if I don't believe the way they do.
I always taught my children to believe in God, but more importantly, believe in Humanity. Look at others through the eyes of a child, see kindness, compassion, understanding , tolerance, and love that person as an individual. If we could all look at life as simply as that, maybe there would be peace and not war, maybe there would be love and not hate and understanding and not turmoil. Two things come to mind when I think about this. John Lennon and his powerful words in "Imagine" and Bette Midler who sang a song called "From a Distance" . Am I am dreamer and being unrealistic in my expectations of Humanity, maybe so, but at least I know that I will make a difference and will be remembered for see the world, through the Eyes of a Child.
Iris S. Taub
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