If you ever wanted to meet a person whose childhood wasn't one to envy, had never heard of self-esteem and confidence, grieved the lost of their only sister alone without any family support, and never resorted to drugs and alcohol to numb the pain of all the above; allow me to reintroduce myself. "Hello....I'm Monica Burns-Capers and I'm Not An Alcoholic.
My childhood was one that I would never wish upon any enemies that I might have in this world. My father died when I was five years old, so I had to live with my mother. Notice I did not say, "I was raised by my mother." I was raised by my great-grandmother and grandfather during the crucial and impressionable years of my childhood, and Thank God I was! After my grandparents passed on, I was left with my mother. I was around ten years old and practically raised myself and my sister at this point. I was forced into adulthood pretty quickly. What other choices did I have? My mother never established any rules, any curfews, or anything else for that matter. She was always out all night and day with friends, and when she was home.....she really wasn't. I could have hung out with my friends all times of the night, experimented with drugs and alcohol, and could have become sexually promiscuous; but, I had angels guiding me and my life the whole time. I gave myself a curfew, passed on the drugs and alcohol when offered to me, and had no interest in sex. When I look back on my life now, I can pinpoint each time an obstacle was thrown in my path, and the hand of God always steered me in that other direction, even as a kid. All I've ever asked for and wanted was "Peace of Mind," and my angels came in many forms.
When I encounter those who blame their pasts for their addictions today, I try my best to sympathize with them and offer words of encouragement. I know that they are searching for "Peace." However, these same individuals have had opportunities to change; but instead, they continue to allow the people and the situations in their pasts to dominate and control their lives. You are responsible for your actions, and if you are an addict, your actions are not conducive to you obtaining the knowledge necessary towards your purpose in life and your "Peace of Mind." When you hold onto your pasts by reliving it each day through your addictions, how do you ever expect to move forward? I understand some addictions are more about the addict controlling their own lives. You gave up control of your life a longtime ago when you smoked your first marijuana cigarette, when you snorted your first line of cocaine, when you first regurgitated your entire meal, and when you took that first drink. There is no other "high" in this world that feels better than that of "Peace of Mind." It costs nothing.
Our pasts and the circumstances in them happened for reasons that you'll see later in life, provided you stay open to learning the lessons in each of your experiences. Of course, I was angry for a long while, but how long can we hold grudges and not start to feel the negative impact it'll have on our lives. You must forgive those who have caused you sadness and pain. Maybe they were experiencing things that we were too young to understand at that time. Harboring anger is not going to get you to your assigned place in this Universe.....your mission and your purpose in life. Do I regret my past? Absolutely not! I am thankful for every obstacle, every day my mother wasn't there, every time I was teased by some kid, and raising my sister. The experiences taught me how to be a great mother to my daughter, a wonderful wife to my husband, to find the hidden blessings in my obstacles, and to forgive quickly. It was a difficult lesson and I'm still on the journey, but it was well worth it.
I do not hate my mother and I currently communicate with her. But now I'm teaching her the life lessons that I was forced to learn quickly for survival purposes, and lessons she had no knowledge of or any idea on how to teach me. And I'm At Peace With It All.
Monica Burns-Capers is an Expert Author, Freelance Writer, Consultant, and President/CEO of Monica Mi'Chelle Communications: A Professional Writing and Self-Development Firm. For More Information, Visit Her Website At: www.monicamburns.com.
Monica Burns-Capers (Monica M. Burns) Is An Expert Author, Freelance Writer, Self-Development Consultant, A College Instructor, and President/CEO of Monica Mi'Chelle Communications: A Professional Writing and Self-Development Firm. Visit Her At: www.monicamburns.com
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