Even the most cynical amongst us cannot totally overlook Valentine's day, lovers' day. Yes, it's over-commercialised, can even be rather plastic and contrived. The only way to make it authentic is to take it seriously, to suspend all disbelief and give into the whole romantic experience. After all, it's only one day of the year, right?
Traditional is best on Valentine's day - red roses, champagne, candle-lit dinner, chocolates, the whole bit.
Add a bit of spice in the bedroom and you have a winner.
If you're a relatively new couple, this will be great but what if you've been married or living together a while? Valenitine's day comes and goes every Friday the 14th and it starts to get stale. What to do? This is when you need to get creative. By all means, still do the usual things but here are some tips for that something different -
*Experiment with something you've never tried before in the bedroom, maybe a new position or a sexual activity or better still, a role-playing game or living out a long-cherished fantasy.
*Play a sexy board game. Yes, they exist and are terrific fun. Instead of winning points and eventually the game, you get to do fun things along the way, like taking pieces of clothing off, doing a striptease, telling a joke.
* What about a weekend away, especially if it's a surprise planned by one of the couple? Go somewhere entirely new, do something outrageously expensive like stay at a resort or dine in a five-star restaurant, or dowright cheap like camping on a beach, a walk in the bush, a river cruise. Take a bath together, give each other a massage.
What makes Valentine's work?
Focus on your loved one. Make that all that matters. Buy a single rose and place it on the pillow of your bed, write a corny poem, cook pasta together. I once heard about a woman who baked a cake wearing a large apron over her naked body. When her husband came home, she pretended to need something out of her pocket and asked him to fish it out as her hands were all floury. When he did, he realised she was naked underneath her apron. They ended up making love on the floor, right in the middle of all the baking equipment which they'd knocked down in their excitement. It was the element of surprise that did it.
Surprise and innovation. It doesn't matter what you do, as long as it's fun, loving, light-hearted, fresh. Whether it's the same routine or totally different, give it your all, throw your heart into it. You can't fake it; it has to be genuine. The details really don't matter. A lot of people propose marriage and some couples choose to renew their vows on this special day for lovers. What could be more appropriate? But whether you're on your first date or celebrating 50 years of marriage, this is simply a day to remember why you fell in love in the first place, and also to celebrate love itself. We have dedicated days for mothers, fathers, secretaries - certainly lovers deserve their special day too.
And what if you're not in a romantic relationship when Valetine's day rolls around? Plan a day of love for and with yourself. You can grab a group of other single friends and go out on the town or, if you prefer to be on your own, set out a simple but beautiful meal with the candles, linen tablecloth, best china, glass of bubbly, chocolates and so forth then take a bubble bath listening to your favorite music. This is not second best; it's self-love expressed in a beautiful way.
Valentine's day is about love and indulgence so as long as you get both, it's a success.
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Article added to SearchWarp.com on Friday, February 01, 2008 View other articles written by charmaine saunders(56)
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