I ran into a friend of mine in the grocery store the other day. As we were chatting, I asked him about his plans for Valentine's Day. He shook his head sadly and said, "I'm not doing anything this year because I broke up with my girlfriend." I said how sorry I was and then after a few awkward minutes, we both moved on.
By the time I got home, I realized I was furious at myself and at Valentine's Day. Here was this really nice man, who has a wonderful family and lots of good friends, but he was planning to sit home by himself on Valentine's Day. Why? He didn't have a girlfriend.
It made me angry that he would be alone just because he's single. Personally, I think Valentine's Day discriminates against singles! The majority of the marketing blitz for it emphasizes being in a love relationship with a partner. The message is that if you're single, then you might as well forget Valentine's Day.
Wait a minute. What's wrong with being single? Think about it. I've thought about it and it makes me wish I could repeat that conversation with my friend. If I could, here's what I might have suggested to him:
WRITE YOURSELF A VALENTINE.
Buy or make a valentine. Inside it write things you like about yourself and what makes you special. But don't stop there, take the next step and mail this valentine to yourself. If Valentine's Day is about love, then why not express the love you have for who you are and the person you've become. This is something you can do by yourself and for yourself.
SEND FLOWERS TO YOURSELF
Okay, I know some of you are thinking that this is a selfish thing to do. But if you enjoy flowers, why shouldn't you give them to yourself? Let them remind you of what you have accomplished or what you plan to accomplish in this coming year. If not flowers, then send yourself a different gift as a reminder that you ARE loved.
CELEBRATE VALENTINE'S DAY WITH FAMILY OR FRIENDS.
What's so important about having a partner, when you have supportive family members and/or friends who love you? Get together with the people who are important to you. Consider hosting a special meal or some other event. Whatever gathering you plan, take time to tell each person why they are special to you. And then they can tell you something special about yourself. That's sharing love.
DO SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD.
Think about what would make you feel good on Valentine's Day. You might take your dog for a nice run in the park, surprise a lonely neighbor with a valentine, fix a favorite dinner and eat by candlelight or get in touch with an old friend. Doing something good for yourself or someone else is a wonderful expression of love and a great way to celebrate Valentine's Day.
I missed my opportunity with my friend, but I get a second chance with those of you reading this article. Don't dread Valentine's Day if you're single. Remember that love is more than just being a couple. Sure it's nice to be with someone special, but if you're not, it doesn't mean you don't have loving relationships.
This Valentine's Day pay tribute to love. Celebrate the love of whomever gives you support; a family member, the friend who's always been there for you, or even your pets!
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Sara Healy is a life coach who helps people with life and career transitions using their strengths and values. She is passionate about helping men and women create lives that fit who they are and what they believe in. She works best with creative clients who love learning and are ready to make changes in their lives. Find out how she can help you make positive changes in your life by contacting her at: http://www.sarahealy.com
» left by James P Krehbiel(1,469) James P Krehbiel (286 days 19 hours ago.)
Sara,
Excellent article. You are right, there is no reason why any of us cannot find a way to bring meaning to this holiday. Great suggestions. Thank you. Respond to this comment
» left by Sandra E. Graham(2,204) Sandra E. Graham from Paragould, Ar. (282 days 17 hours ago.)
Great article, Sara. I'm all for any type of Holiday, but I think along with Christmas, Valentine's Day is another special day because most everyone enjoys making someone else feel extra special--I know I certainly do.
Good luck and God Bless.
SEG Respond to this comment
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