Nothing in our lives is controlled by us. Simple. We may think we are controlling situations and people, but we never really are. There is only one being that is in control, and He's the only one who can decide anything about how our lives and deaths will go. Thy will be done. We mortals don't know enough to make all the decisions for ourselves. Our God needs to step in and remind us sometimes of what life is all about, and it's about "His will." I don't know why this is true, I don't know how this is true, I only know that it is true.
I also know that everything is connected, only we don't have the knowledge to know how, while we're on this Earth. There is nothing random to His every decision about His children. A baby dies at birth, and no one can fathom how a loving and peaceful God would allow such a thing to happen. He knows why, and faith is what helps us endure such tragedies in our lives. There is always a reason, and when it's our time to return to our father, I believe we will learn all the answers to the questions we had here on Earth. Our faith is our belief in an ever after, in a Supreme Being, in positive and negative energy, in good and bad, right and wrong. It is an awareness that something bigger than us is watching over us, and pulling the strings, while allowing us to learn as we go.
Of course, not everyone believes in these theories and instead, will walk through this World alone, thinking they are in control. How sad. There are so many unexplainable things that happen to us, and they are so much easier to deal with if we have a belief in a Higher Power, who knows better than we do what is best for us. We may need to learn how to be strong so we can take care of our responsibilities on this journey. Situations will come into our life that may baffle and devastate us. It is usually only in retrospect that we can see meaning to incidents that happen throughout our lives.
I still don't know why my mother had to get cancer and suffer and pass away at fifty nine. I mourned for a long time, and still do to a more manageable extent. The only thing that has gotten me through is knowing that God knows more than I do about life, and suffering, and death. His will always takes precedence over us. We're not God, He is. However, we can live a lot easier if we learn to accept that the Almighty knows what He is doing, and we need to trust in His decisions for us. I have an analytical mind, and need to try and figure out the why behind every situation. I have calmed that desire down to blind faith. I know God exists, for me anyway, and if He feels it's right and necessary to have certain things occur in my life, then I have to go with it. I don't have to like it, or understand it, but it's a lot easier to live this life with faith that everything happens for a reason.
There is a grieving process that must take place in any case of loss, but it doesn't have to control our lives. However, we must feel what we are experiencing and cry when we need to cry, be depressed when we need to be depressed, and then, work through it and get on with our lives. We can't just ignore the way we are feeling. That will only lead to personality problems; a short temper, a pessimistic attitude, uncontrollable anger, nervous breakdowns. No, we have to feel our emotions, and work our way through them. This is much easier to do if you have faith. It's like a steel rod supporting our spine, holding us up when we want to collapse. Leaning on our faith and Higher Power strengthens our resolve, and makes it easier for us to deal with pain and heartache. We must trust in our God, and know that He is putting circumstances in our path for a reason. We may never figure it out on Earth, but one day, we'll know why, and it will all suddenly make sense. Why did I slide on the ice and just miss a telephone pole? I don't know, but I'm sure God does. I also surmise my time is not up yet or I would be gone, all the ducks were in a row.
And yet, I am here. There must be a reason, and I will continue living my life to the best of my knowledge and ability in thanks and gratitude for what I have been given. I will not forget the fear or the close call I had, but I am stronger for having been saved. If there is more for me to do, then I only pray that what it is will be revealed to me in some way. My writing may help another person. My raising of my kids will affect everyone they come in contact with. Whatever it is I'm supposed to do, I have faith the God I believe in will steer me in the right direction.
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