I 've read a number of articles on how a woman should go about keeping her man happy. Some of these "expert" tips include being spontaneous, adventurous, hang on his every word, talking dirty, dressing sexy yada, yada, yada.
I'm assuming for the moment that we are talking about actual full grown adult men here and not some pubescent teenager, right? Articles that suggest you show your man respect and pay attention and value what he has to say, are really quite ridiculous and have been generated for no other reason than to try and push a website or product as weak as their articles are.
You can't define what a woman should do to keep her man happy for two very simple reasons.
First, all men are different. I know we try and pigeon hole the entire gender, but the fact is, men are as complicated a creature as we ladies are and every man responds to different stimuli.
For example, some men have massive amounts of testosterone coursing through their veins and would respond favorably to an aggressive woman in the bedroom, wearing daring unmentionables and talking dirty. To others, this would be a complete turn off.
Second, men instinctually know when a women is not being sincere. There's a reason why you have been drawn to an article on how to make your man happy. Chances are good you are very close to losing him or feel he has lost interest in you.
No "expert" can tell you what all men need. The truth of the matter is, your guy is with you for a reason, something originally attracted him to you. It's time to take a look at yourself in the mirror and see if you are the same person he fell in love with. Go ahead, take a good long look.
I think that if you are being completely honest and objective, your probably not as happy with yourself as you used to be either. We all age, gain weight, grow complacent and lazy. We have families and careers that sap our energy and the easiest thing in your life to neglect unfortunately, is that which you've grown comfortable with, your relationship with your man.
If there is one thing the majority of men do not like, it's slipping down your ever fluctuating scale of what's important and what can be attended to later.
Most couples meet when they either have no children or their children are older and self sustaining. A whirlwind romance often runs completely out of energy after marriage, children, bills, soccer, cub scouts, bake sales, homework, laundry, cooking dinner, cleaning and on and on the list of daily chores and responsibilities go.
The energy you once focused on the singular him, has now got to be divided between a thousand other things. Just as a plant withers and dies in the shade, so does your relationship.
And you cannot start feigning interest, dressing sexy, talking dirty, being spontaneous and so on if it is not something you are currently doing. You will only confuse the poor man and make matters worse.
What actually may work is to try and schedule at least an hour of uninterrupted alone time and have a serious conversation with him. See if it's to late to even mend your broken relationship. He may not want to, but if he does show any sign of life at all, you need to explain, with all of your heart, how sorry you are that you have neglected his needs and his feelings, because YOU HAVE!
And so has he of course, but someone must raise the white flag first, so why not let it be you?
There's noting wrong with admitting that life has gotten in the way of love and that you want more than anything to make things work and try to recapture some of the fire the two of you once shared. The blame game absolutely does not work, don't even try it. Just extend the olive branch, and if there is any love left in the man, he will return the gesture.
Build from there and promise each other that while you tackle the mundane aspects of your life, you will think about each other and remember what once was, and what could be again some day.
Myla Madson runs a successful family counseling center in the U.S. and is changing the way people look at their relationships. For more resources on how to improve your relationship, please go to
http://www.MylaMadson.com/relationships.html
