Dedicated to my:
Funny Valentines.
Flirting is actually a natural means to attracting a mate. A natural body reaction that occurs when someone is around that you are attracted to, and you send them singles with subtle gestures, smiles and in friendly ways. If you are looking for a date of course, and all people can control whether they flirt or not, but for single people, of course who are in the dating game, want to flirt. They need the flirt, ok, it's an intricate part of getting your man's (woman's attention) and the body language is also a secret code sort of speak, letting you know if the sentiment is returned.
In this article we are going to explore some effective flirting tips, and if you have any of your own, feel free to add them at the comment section of this article I'd love to hear them.
Having an opening line is great if you have one, if you want one, I have an article with some cute opening lines, to sincere ones, and even some funny ones, for those of you who might want one. But, there is more to the mating ritual than a really power packed opening line. It's the flirtatious mode that's sent when you are in the vicinity of someone who turns your knees to butter, that also counts.
Flirting can be done in ohh so many ways, batting eyelashes, lowered lids with a tilted shy head, an extra wiggle in the bootie when you walk by him, mouthing words to him in a discreet hello, quivering lips, raised brows, repeated quick glances in their direction. Believe it or not, it is a talent that can be learned if you feel the flirting thing really isn't working for you. You're human, and it's an instinct of humanity to flirt during a matin ritual, the dating game, it mixes with the fascination of someone new, of showcasing some of your finer points like the gentle flip of your shiny soft hair, or a tap of a perfectly polished nail.
With some practice, confidence in yourself, and believing your worthy enough to play the dating game, these simple flirting tips should help you get on your way to finding and keeping that special someone who's on your wish list. So get your lashes ready to lock on your man (woman), and get ready to say it with body language, that "I've fallen for you, more than words can say, have you fallen for me to?"
Saying it all, without saying a word takes talent. Also being too aggressive is a real turn off, nobody likes someone dominating their time when they are out, they also don't like it when someone is too eager or too available-that spells out desperate, and then why are they desperate, can't they get a date. What's wrong with them, do they do this all the time.. are they easy.. Those are not what you want them to think, so let them know you are interested, but keep it low key. Also, the more you ignore them, the more curious they are about you. It's the old opposite thing, especially if the guy or gal is good looking and is quite expecting to be doted on.. Then don't. They will start coming around you, at first to see why you aren't, and then they'll get to know you, and figure out you are pretty cool on their own.
But in the mean time, a simple flirtatious exchange is where it all begins, and it begins something like this.
Eye Contact
I'm so distracted by you that I can't stop gazing into your eyes. Letting your emotions mirror through your eyes can let him (her) know how you're feeling without saying a word. If he is across a room, look over at him, with a coy smile, and tear your eyes off quickly. That's kinda saying, "Hay there, I just noticed you, and maybe you're the one I'm looking for" In the flirting game, the eyes are the most noticed when meeting strangers, or potential mates, they pick up on things like you looking at them looking.. or the famous walk three steps away, then turn around to see if they are looking. Go ahead and steal his (her) heart with the mere caress of your eyes.
Get a physical contact.
See if he's paying attention. After a few shy smiles, give him a shy wave, or raise your glass to him in cheers. Giggle with your friends and ignore him, but from time to time glance over and see if he makes is way over to you.
Get your friends in on the action.
Take a powder room break, and leave some of your friends at the table. Walk his way, while engrossed in conversation with your friends, and get the others to watch to see what he does. Follows you with his eyes, gestures to you to his friends. Or doesn't even notice. (If he's making eye contact hunny, he's checking you out.)
Don't over do it with loud giggles, and hooting or screaming to over do it to prove you are fun. He can tell that already, or he wouldn't be looking at you.
First conversation.
If you must speak, try to keep it a sexy level, and whisper. Not husky, ohhh is she hard of hearing whisper, but the type of subtle whisper, that makes them feel obligated to put their ear close enough for you to check out their cologne (perfume) kind of whisper. It creates an intimate moment, brief, subtle, and invites them into your personal space. You can also come into their space, just to offer them a compliment. Nice outfit, love your shoes, cool hat.. Whatever you think is a great quality they have at the moment. What kinda drink is that? Is it good?" During this time, you are zoning in on them, so don't go inviting anyone else into your space, you'll kinda ruin the progress.
First Connection
Creating an impression. Okay now the window of opportunity is open to you. You have a time limit to get your message across to him (her) that you are interested. The rule of thumb is you to send out three signals. Either with a direct eye contact, a smile, and a quick look away. It says, I like looking at you, or you could gesture to the people around you, maybe someone is telling a funny story, or a really dumb one, and you can roll your eyes quickly in their direction with a slight chuckle. While you have the eye contact, let your emotions inside glow on the outside, think about how it makes you feel to look at him (her) and they are sure to see it on your face, in your eyes. Its instinct, and once you get in touch with that, you're on your way. If he's left the table by then, or is gone to get a drink, give him a subtle wave to let him know you know where he went, and are paying attention to him. (her)
Be Nice
Infant stage of meeting, don't be a phoney, but be polite, courteous to him (her) and their friends. Flirting is like a game, and with all games there are usually more than one player. By rejecting his friends will send him packing for sure, especially when you just met. Be soothing, joyful, perky, fun and keep that eye contact going, with occasional lingering stares.
Showing your good side at this point is vital. Don't be phoney, or go overboard, but keep all conversation light, don't get into discussions about politics, religion, office etiquette, or strongly opinionated topics. Stay clear of them or he (she) might just lose interest. Remember you only just met, or are just getting to know each other. Leave all your excess baggage where it belongs, in your past. Don't bash old boyfriends (girlfriends) and don't go checking out other prospects while you're with them. It is rude. And if you are finally engaged in a conversation, shut off your cell phone, show her (him) they are important to get to know and everyone else can wait.
Smiles
Let him fall in love with your adorable smile.
A smile is on every flirt list you'll ever see, because a smile says I'm a happy person, I'm cute, everyone looks good when they are lit up with a smile. Smiles are usually followed by a giggle, and it says something about your personality. It makes you more attractive, so smile as much as you can.
Pay Attention
Sincerely get wrapped up in what they have to say. Nothing feels better than someone who is actually interested in things you have to say. They actually follow along, ask intelligent questions, and get past all the awkward stages of generalized dating questionaries. Avoid the dreaded, SO where do you work? LIVED in this town long? HOW many dates have you been on in the past week? Yuck, and boring! Ask them something silly, like
Who is your favourite cartoon character?
What movie did you see last?
If you like sports, and prefer girls (guys) who do, ask them if they
"Like sports?"
"What one thing in this world makes "their name" happy?"
If they say chocolate, indicate if you like it, and ask what type.. If they say walking on a beach, ask them to tell you about the best time they ever had on the beach. Tell them if you were to go to the beach together, what would she (he) want to teach you about beach bumming.
Getting people to tell you stories that they care about is a great way to take them out of the nervous, I just met you, awkward state of mind, and sets them in their own environment. They will become more comfortable, relaxed, and you can see them sincerely share a laugh with you, and you get a feel what it would be like to be with them more, and they you. If you like them, don't forget to get their Msn, or cell number to text them next time something cool pops up, in regards to what ever event you found common between you.
Flattery gets you everywhere.
It's a fact, we all love to be complimented. Although phoney compliments are seen through, and will make your flirting efforts wasted, so, ya know, don't lay it on too thick. But flatter him (her). Give them praise when they say something witty or funny..say "Hay that's so great, love your sense of humor" Most people are intune and sensible, generally speaking, so be sensible in your approach. Rule of thumb, just be honest. If you think hey have the most adorable smile you've ever seen in your life. Tell them. If you think he has bedroom eyes, and you get lost in them and never want to find you way home, tell him.. "You really have gorges eyes." Maybe gently brush his hair from his eyes as you say it. If he thinks your gorges and tells you so, just smile and lift your eyes up shyly and say, thanks. It's the body language that goes along with subtle compliments that make the impacting statement. This is no time to bring up heaven called and is missing an Angel, and I think it's you. Nope, not gonna happen, and would make her face cringe up and say.. ohhh not another one.
Keep it light
Can't say it enough. You are both out looking to meet people. You have no idea if he's just broken up with someone, has a broken heart, kids, ex-wife. You know nothing about him, (her), and you only met, so it's not really any of your beeswax, not yet anyway. Look for wedding rings, tan lines of rings taken off are a pretty good indication he slipped it off before entering the bar. See if he (she) is anxious every so often checking out the room, checking his watch, keeping an eye on who sees you two talking. These are body language signs to, and he could be taken, or recent to the dating game, and proceed with caution during that stage. You could ask him if he (she) has a sweetheart. Either by coming out and asking, or saying something like, does your girlfriend (boy) know you're out and about tonight? There is so much you want to know about a person when you first meet, but rushing it, can ruin it, so why not, for your first meeting, just simply have fun.
Ok, say you checked it out, and it's all clear. He's not married, divorced, in a relationship, he's single and looking. Check. Now on to next phase.
Tone.
Setting the tone and keeping it there. This can be done with the flirting methods of eye contact, shy approaches, polite perky conversation, and keeping the constant tone in conversation, body language and your voice. Be graceful, polite, and allow your emotions to emit through your facial expressions, keeping conversation to a minimal. You don't want to divulge too much about yourself, let the mystery keep going for a while longer. And no matter how cute he (she) is, avoid leaving with them. You no doubt came with your friends, leave with your friends. Don't accept any drinks from him, be independent. And no thinking of him in bed, no matter how much you had to drink. These days giving yourself away to someone you know nothing about isn't worth losing your dignity over. Then he becomes your love-buddy, not your potential mate. If you think he's the one, then hold out, and see where it goes. It'll pay off in the long run. Keeping all that in mind, just keep the tone light, interest him, make him curious about what makes you tick, and don't reveal too much too soon.
Just be you
All of your friends like the real you, and you need a partner that likes you for you. The last thing you want is someone who fell for the pretend you, the phoney, the guy or gal who you pretend to be, just to get their attention. That's a bad bad choice, lying to them about your job, where you live, where you've been. Trying to impress them. Think about it, all you're going to do is set anything you two could have, up for failure. NO one likes a liar. You are a great person, you are wonderful, people in general are, so show off who you are, and if they don't like it, then that's great. You got it out of the way, and no time wasted. But chances are, they will fall for you, the way you are, for who you are, and the game of ecstasy is still on.
Get their hotmail address, a means for txt'n, or their profile on the online dating site they are on. That way you can do your homework, and so can they. You can take your time and actually get to know about them, before you jump right into the dating game with them.
For those of you who are afraid to tell someone that you like them.. don't say a word. Here's some tips on telling someone you like them, in a dsicreet way, without risking rejection face to face.
Happy Dating, and Happy Valentines Day
Written by: Sacreeta
