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Home » Categories » Writing » Poetry » No One Should Die Alone! The Dark Visitor: A Poem » Printer Friendly

Ben Jones

No One Should Die Alone! The Dark Visitor: A Poem

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Submitted Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Ben Jones (5,443)
Ben Jones

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The Dark Visitor

His face is a time-piece,
his life is a book
But the pages lie darkened,
for there's no-one to look

At times he was happy,
at times even glad
But now all of his memories,
to a one; they are sad

Yet still he breathes in,
and still he breathes out
As he fights for each breathe,
and death hangs about

He hurts with each movement,
and gets no relief
Still he refuses surrender,
and fights for surcease

Not one person visits
or asks after him
As he struggles on vainly,
in a fight he can't win

Finally a shadow -
begins to encroach
And a hooded dark servant -
prepares his dark coach

A breeze softly rises
There's a scent on the air
Though his eyes do not see,
he knows death is there

His heart starts to race
as his breathe; it turns sour
He knows he'll have passed,
within this; his last hour

The figure moves closer,
and bends to its task
As the old man lies dying,
alone in the dark

With a final defiance,
he raises his fist
Then he dies in his bed,
for no one to miss.

 
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Comments on this article:


» left by James P Krehbiel (1,434)
James P Krehbiel
(303 days 7 hours ago.)

Reader Rating: 5 out of 5
Ben,
Excellently done. Very powerful piece. Thanks.
Respond to this comment
» left by Ben Jones (5,443)
Ben Jones
(303 days 2 hours ago.)

Thanks James :)
Respond to this comment

» left by susan thom from nj (298 days 4 hours ago.)
Reader Rating: 5 out of 5
hi ben,
this was an excellently written piece, i think, and very sad.
makes one think about mortality, and just how simple the crossover is from life to death. we anticipate it as this huge revelation, and it's just a breathe, and then not!
wonderful job,
best regards,
sue thom
Respond to this comment
» left by Ben Jones (5,443)
Ben Jones
(295 days 3 hours ago.)

Hi Sue,

Thanks for your kind comments. I was trying hard to create the feeling of his laboured breathing and used short rapid combinations of words and lines as his heart began racing. Not sure how effective it was but was interesting and fun to do.

Regards,
Ben.
Respond to this comment

» left by Bobby Jensen (124)
Bobby Jensen
(251 days 2 hours ago.)

Reader Rating: 5 out of 5
Well done Ben!

This poem brought back some memories for me, good ones and sad ones. Very powerful.

Cheers,
Bobby
Respond to this comment
» left by Ben Jones (5,443)
Ben Jones
(48 days 13 hours ago.)

Hi Bobby,
 
Thanks for your comment on my poem. I completely missed it when you left it all those moons ago, sorry about that. :)
 
Have a great day,
Ben.

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