If your relationship is starting to lose its passion you may need to make a conscious effort to re-ignite the spark in your relationship and reawaken the passion. Put the spark back and nurture your relationship both in and out of the bedroom with these simple but very powerful gift ideas.
A Gift of Interest
Give your partner the gift of your interest in something that is important to him or her.
Ladies if your man into soccer, baseball, basketball or hockey and you don’t know all the field positions or the difference between a “bank shot" and a “blocked shot" or a batter and a battery, take time to educate yourself secretly and next time he is watching his favourite team (you should also know a few names), plug in.
Guys, leave work or business early and come home to watch Oprah or Ellen. Check their websites for the topic of the day, and when she asks you why you are home early, throw in the element of surprise. Better yet, buy a complete series of her talk show and sit by her side through out the series.
Go ahead, just ask him/her a question about what really interests him/her and see the smile light up his or her face.
A Gift of Listening
Men, you may not realize it, but perhaps maybe you are not giving your woman enough attention and enough time to talk – most women want that. Allow your woman to talk about whatever her heart desires, and listen with out trying to fix it or correct her and no blocking out or walking away. Share with her from your heart even if there are feelings that make it difficult. If you must, before you ask to sit down and talk, run around the block or do some other exercise as an external release which calms you down.
Ladies, let your man talk or answer your question with out finishing his sentences for him, interrupting him, trying to interpret what you think he is trying to say, or jumping back and forth from topic to topic. And if he doesn’t feel like talking, sit down next to him in silence - I mean silence like in NO talking silence.
A Gift of Change
One of the things that gets a woman hooked onto the “bad boy" is the desire to change him and the joy that comes with knowing that she’s the one WHO DID IT. Guys, listen to her subtle requests. I am sure you’ve heard one or two things that she thinks would turn the world right side up if you’d only change – and you know deep inside that you’d gladly change if she only stopped bagging you about it. Nothing beats an admission of guilt than a full-blown change. Even something as simple as asking her what it is that she wants you to change to make her feel loved and secure is a step in the right direction.
Ladies, give the man in your life the gift of trusting him to know how and when to take care of himself - and of you. Instead of constantly telling him what he is not doing right, how about complimenting him on what he is doing right. Encourage him to talk about your sexual relationship – trust me, he is dying to – and surprise him by doing less of what he doesn’t like (“I am not in the mood") and more of what he likes – whatever that it is. And honey, you know that there are a couple of things you need to change yourself – right?
A Gift of Mystery
Nothing kills a relationship faster than boredom and the same stale stuff day in and day out.
Ladies, romance your man with romantic love letters or poems, read them to him and watch his emotional and sensitive side emerge. Leave random love notes in his coat pockets, briefcase, cellular phone - or bedroom. Leave a small “treasure hunt" on his desk which points to some “BIG" rewards both for his effort and his determination.
Guys serenade her by getting up in the middle of a fully crowded restaurant (not a cheap “all you can eat" type) and declaring your undying love for her in front of a bunch of “I don’t need a man to make me happy" man-hating women. Blaring “our song" outside her window in the middle of the night after you’ve had a nasty fight will get you back in the house quicker than you can say “Halley Berry".
Gift of Spontaneous Intimacy
Guys your woman craves to be swept off her feet every now and then. Secretly call a hotel and ask them to arrange a special night of red rose petals everywhere, scented bubble baths, candles and Champaign for just two. If you have kids, arrange for a baby sitter or relative to take care of the kids – and do not tell her. Relive your first night as a couple.
Ladies wake him up with a big “good morning" surprise. In the middle of the day, just lock the door, grab his hand, smile... and lead him to the bedroom. Don’t be shy about publicly displaying your affection (with dignity of course) while you’re out with him. Make other men jealous - all men secretly long for a girlfriend/wife turned “hooker" especially if he is the ONLY one who ever gets to take the “hooker’ home. Mix things up a little by experimenting - be creative, very creative.
A Gift of Trust
Trust takes time and effort, is easily broken and hard to restore.
Ladies, the secrets to trusting your man is being secure in yourself and maintaining realistic expectations. Don’t push it, force it, nag him, tug him or try to cut the edges to make it fit. Your man also needs to know he can trust you, it works both ways. Guys, the secret of having your woman trust you is showing her that you are trustworthy and that you trust her in return.
Trust first, but don’t ignore the warning signs. If there are just too many inconsistencies for comfort, then communicate them to your man/woman directly, stick to the FACTS – avoid accusations. Simply tell him or her how his/her behavior makes you feel. He/she may be dealing with other issues that have nothing to do with cheating on you with someone else.
A Gift of Self
There is a myth out there that if someone is your soul mate, he or she will instinctively know everything about you. This is simply not true. Most people in relationships – both men and women – would love to give their partners what they want if only they knew what it was. Allow the man or woman in your life to know who you are and invite him or her to open up and share his or her fears and weaknesses knowing that you will still love and respect him or her – with their good and bad.
Finally, wrap your gift with passion and spontaneity. Without passion and spontaneity your relationship will turn into the kind of social convenience many call a relationship or marriage.
To love a person is to learn the song that is in their heart, and to sing it to them when they have forgotten. |
