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Is this it? Am I really happy? Where do I go from here?
Capable adults between 20 and 30 face astounding personal challenges. Finally in a place to make our own decisions, we are often paralyzed by uncertainty and fear. However, all "twenty-somethings" have the ability to carve out a healthy, happy, independent life if they are willing to tailor their thoughts and actions. That means living intentionally, not just floating along waiting for someone else to dictate the next step.
The "7 Immediate Steps to Twenty-Something Success" are a few gems I have picked up that go a long way in establishing foundations to build happy lives upon.
1) Be who you are.
No exceptions. Pay attention to that sense of knowing inside of you and act on its behalf. There are people, places and jobs which will bring you to life. Your task is to maximize those on behalf of your passions. When that knowing inside you lights you up with joy- well, there really isn't a better feeling in the world. Imagine living with that degree of freedom, comfort, aliveness day in and day out. How great would that feel? What sort of life could you lead then?
2) Take financial responsibility.
Know how much money you are going to make, and when. Know how much money you spend, and on what. Do they synch up? There are plenty of free, easy ways to balance your budget with one internet search. Fear of financial strain doesn't change reality; it only paralyzes you into inaction and further problems. Knowing what you have and what you owe affords you the freedom to make choices accordingly.
3) Extracurriculars are not Extra!
Play is a requirement for a healthy and happy life. Everyone needs and deserves time for fun and recreation. Whether you play in the mountains, on the beach, at the theater, or perhaps at a local coffee shop, just make sure you get out there. The on-ramp to career success channels much (dare I say all?) of our energy towards work life, professionalism, maturity and continued learning. That is all well and good… however, being your best self is not something achieved by 24 hour a day dedication to work. It is often our down time that affords us our most fulfilling hours. We all offer something positive to the world; we can maximize what we offer if we come from a place of happiness.
4) Be a "Joiner"
Odds are that as a twenty-something, you are in a new location, or that you are experiencing the same location in a new way. The temptation may be to wait for opportunities to come to you but nothing could be more likely to lead to unhappiness. Take an active role in creating your new life; be a "joiner." Find a group of people that will miss you if you aren't around. Start by following your passion. If you find a career-related organization to join, great. If it is a leisure-time organization that calls your name, great. Just do it. The best way to ensure happiness is through taking action on its behalf!
5) Expand your Perspective
When things aren't looking so good, switch up where you are looking from. Change something about your perspective- how could this be an opportunity? Can I change my attitude? One thing is for sure, if you tell the same sob story over and over either to yourself, your friends or your family you can convince yourself that this is the only way to think about the situation. Truthfully, there are millions of other perspectives, but you may need to take a huge step backwards to access them. The world will do what the world will do. Better to expand what is acceptable to you, to maximize your ability to adjust to it, than to limit your happiness to moments when the world is lined up just as you'd wish.
6) Take Risks.
Now let's be clear- I am not advocating for irresponsible, short-term-gain, long-term-pain risks. What risks do you take? Take those on behalf of your passion. What do you LOVE to do in life? Find a way to work it into your life. You will never have fewer obligations than you have now. Accept some risks early in life; don't wait to be burnt out to re-haul your dream out of the cobwebs. Stick up for your passions, your dreams. Plan for your risk-taking from financial, social, and emotional standpoints. Secure the support you will need to go for it and live in a big way.
7) Remember, today is your day.
Everything that exists in your life is there because you have allowed it - from the most unnerving of credit card bills to the less-than-ideal apartment, to the friend who complains at every turn. You choose your world by thought, word and deed every day. Telling yourself "I took this passionless 40/60/80hr a week job to keep me from starving" is no way to wake up every morning. "I have secured a solid job which is going to facilitate paying off my loans and earn me financial freedom by the time I am 26" creates a more constructive atmosphere and allows other positive things to come your way. This positivity frees you up to look towards future goals, passions and dreams. You create your world; make sure it is the world you want. What are you putting up with, and why? How could your life be different if you were willing to address these issues? What could your happiness factor be?
We all deserve to be happy. What's the first step you will take to make it happen for you?
Andi Tuttle is a life coach who specializes in helping twenty-somethings orient their lives towards fulfillment and success. She can be reached by phone (518) 369-4774 and email andituttle@gmail.com
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