I am wealthy (Wealth=positive family relationships, even with my teens. I'm plugged into a church that feels right to me. I appreciate my husband and he appreciates me. I have terrific clients. I enjoy the simple gifts of sky, air, breathing. I communicate with everyone in my path--whether they are ready for me or not.) I feel like I am in heaven. Not long ago, I was miserable and frustrated. In darker times, long ago, I welcomed the thought of dying. Think what I would have missed.
At that dark time, when I seemed to have no purpose and no hope--if I had died... I wouldn't have met my husband of 18yrs. Skye and Luke would not exist. The whole future world would have had to adjust. Because, who knows who Skye and Luke will touch in their time? At times, a single life may seem inconsequential. In reality, a single life and the decisions and actions in that life have a ripple effect across the world.
I have done nothing to deserve this Utopia. What happened? There was no magic cure. No one stepped in and solved my problems.
Time passed. One by one seemingly inconsequential events occur, changing things ever so slightly. One day you pause and realize that your life is not as it was.
I wish my Brother, Shane, had realized this truth before he took his own life. Things Change. I promise. I know.
If you ever get to the point of despair. Do yourself a favor. Wait. If one day at a time is too long for you to handle--wait two hours. Then two more hours. Go on about your life, not doing anything drastic. Look for an opportunity. If there isn't one in site for you--there should be an opportunity for you to help someone else. Take the focus off of you and focus intently on others.
Get out. Look at people. Reallylook. Every single person you see has more than likely had a challenging time at some point in their life.
Get out. Experience the sky, the horizon, birds, animals, babies.
If your two hours is almost up--make plans for the next two hours.
Seek professional help and medication if needed. Sometimes depression is as simple as a chemical imbalance.There are many on line groups to help and hot lines if you need to talk. You have to cooperate for these things to work.
The number below is a working number. I checked and I'm glad I did. I tried one crisis hot line that never answered. Another one ended up being a psychic hotline. Who needs that? This number works!
In summary: Things change. Wait. I promise you there will come a day that you will be filled with joy. There will come a day that you are happy you waited. I know.
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» left by James P Krehbiel(1,434) James P Krehbiel (297 days 23 hours ago.)
Suzi,
Nicely expressed. As a psychotherapist, I always hope I am making a difference in the lives of my patients. Thanks and I am glad you are doing so well. Take care. Respond to this comment
» left by April Lorier(0) April Lorier (296 days 20 hours ago.)
Suzi, I am so sorry about your brother, but so grateful you have found your way out of "Lodebar". This is so insightful. If you can't make it one day, split it up into hours. YES! Manageable goals are the key. God bless you for sharing this experience! Respond to this comment
» left by Suzi Gravenstuk(108) Suzi Gravenstuk (296 days 19 hours ago.)
April, thanks for reaching through the cyber world. "Lodebar" is an apt description. As you likely determined from the tone, I am a 12 stepper among other things. I am on my 20th birthday -alcohol- I remember sitting in my car outside a bar, gripping the steering wheel until the mind battle was over. I don't want to break down to the ridiculous, but at that time it was the moment. Had I given in, the entire course of my life would have changed. I doubt that my two children would have been here, because I would not have stayed on course to save my marriage. Thank you for commenting.
» left by Robert Melaccio, Sr.(6,428) Robert Melaccio, Sr. (296 days 7 hours ago.)
Great article. Yes, many need help especially in these dark times. You are the fortunate one, how many don't make it? Aside from medically it speaks to society that it even exists. Respond to this comment
» left by Suzi Gravenstuk(108) Suzi Gravenstuk (296 days 4 hours ago.)
Robert Melaccio, Sr. , I agree that I am one of the fortunate ones. I am grateful.
I just hope that if anyone reading this article tends to have thoughts of ending it all, that they will be honest with someone. Get help. Set goals, make plans, and discipline themselves to count blessings at least once a day. Even when things are really bad, there are blessings in front of you, you just have to recognize them.
One other life saving technique--Arm yourself with life saving techniques. If the thought has occurred to you once, it may come again. Be ready for it. Don't let it surprise you. Have a Live Action plan ready. Distract yourself! Wait until you have help or until it passes. Get out. Be around people. Find a meeting of any kind... Respond to this comment
» left by Barbara Clark(479) Barbara Clark (296 days 4 hours ago.)
Suzi, Excellent article! Thank you for sharing and helping others. What a great way to give back in honor of your brother. You have written a very important message on the importance of waiting. Thank you. Barbara Respond to this comment
» left by Suzi Gravenstuk(108) Suzi Gravenstuk (296 days 3 hours ago.)
Barbara, your response is precious. Most of us hear that something good can come from everything that happens. When I found Shane, I didn't believe it. How could anything good possibly come from this? Well, you just made me believe it is possible. I will likely never know, but I would like to believe that the message will work for someone at the right place and time. Respond to this comment
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